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we are certified foster/adoptive family. i submitted our homestudy for a little girl and we found out that she is not delayed in any way from being exposed to cocain, but that she can sometimes be inconsolable (sp?) and sometimes get quite anry where she sometimes will bang her head or scratch her face. she is almost 2. i was told that this is fairly typical behavior and that she is learning to be loving and affectionate and that if anythin she may need a a little thereapy for the anger. any thoughts on this? we have a 3 yr old son and i am wondering if this is a mistake. can anyone share any experiences with us? good and/or bad??
Thank you,
MK
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MK, My husband and I have adopted 9 children, aged 19 down to 8 months, every one of our children (except for the 19 year old) were exposed to either alcohol, cocaine or methamphetamine. As far as I'm concerned you've really already gone through the hardest part, and that is right after birth when all they do is cry and have tremors for days, weeks, and sometimes months on end. All of these children are definitely special needs in one way or another, but I would never ever trade any of them. We have an 8 month old and his natural sibling who is 25 months, they both were exposed to meth, our 25 month old is non stop, we truly believe that he is probably ADHD, he has a short attention span, is active beyond his years, but he has to be one of the smartest, most verbal, intelligent toddler's I've ever seen, (and between our natural and adopted we have 15). His 8 month old brother came to us at 1 day old, with the meth still in his tiny little body, he cried, and shook for approx, 2 months, he has now grown to be at 75 percent in height and weight, he's a little slow as far as what an 8 month old should be doing, but every day he seems to be catching up. I could go into more detail about our other children but it would take forever, what I'm trying to say is we would never consider not adopting because of the drugs. Just always know that these kids will always be special, and may need more love and attention than your 3 year old (which at times can be tough), but believe me in the end you will be extremely proud of your completed family. Sincerely, R & B
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Our fd was also born cocaine exposed. We have had her since she was born and she is now 17 months old. For a while we did see a temper with her. Whole body thrown on the floor, kicking, screaming and hitting. But soon found out it was due more out of frustration from lack of communication than anything else. So we started teaching her more signs and at a faster rate. Now we have no problems. Sure she may still have a small tantrum now and then but all kids do that.
How are her communication skills? If she is not much of a talker you might consider teaching her sign language.
My son was drug and alcohol exposed prior to birth and he is now "3" years old. I've had absolutely "zero" issues or concerns from his health during pregnancy.
His brother was born in the same condition, I had him for the first 7 months of his life as well. I had never seen a happier, smiley & giggly baby. In his birth father's home he is "still" doing well and no problems.
Mo.FosterMom
i want to thank you all for all your replies. they helped alot. we actually did not get chosen for that little girl. it broke our hearts. :( strangely enough we were called about a newborn AA boy who was crack positive at birth. i felt a little better about taking him after the repies from you all. he is only foster right now but very possibly will go to adoption. thank you for all your help.
seedsower, i would love some resources! my son is speach delayed and the baby has been evaluated by EI and already has some delays, so it may come in very handy!!
thank you!
MK
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I am a foster mother to a baby who was cocoain exposed, and I recently took a class on what the short and long term effects of drug and alcohol exposure can be.
Basicly what I was told was that the long term effects could be anything from learning dissabilitys, adhd, autisim like behavior, and most common, a really bad temper. However, ADHD symtoms can't be treated like ADHD because it's actually caused from brain dammage, and ADHD drugs don't work.
The good news is the brain can learn how to function around the damaged areas, and in a lot of cases the child "outgrows" these symtoms. The biggest factor in determining how your child overcomes what they were born with, is environment, which to me is really good news.
What I've heard from parents who have older children that were prenatally exposed is things that really helped is, have a steady routine, have clear boundaries, expect the most, and be patient.
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Hi! thanks for thinking of us! actually we do still have this little boy. he is doing much better. had horrible withdrawels and was very sickly, ended up in the hospital last winter with rsv/double pneumonia and almost died. he has many delays, but EI has been wonderful for him! they helped with calming techiniques, he has some muscle problems but has worked through most of them already. they are thinking that maybe by 18 months old he might not need therapy anymore! we have also found that having a routine with M is very important and change is very distressful for him. but he is doing much better now.
thanks for asking!
MK
[font=Impact] I would like to say hi to every one thia is my first post the i have been a foster mom for almost a year now , the reason that i tying this forum I have a drug addict baby boy he is addict to cocain , He is almost done with his withdraw but i have some concern about his health and what lay ahead for him . he get very upset or frusted when he eat , he claw his face and he get upset sometime when you move him , is this normal for drug addicted baby and will this continued . If this is God will we will be adopting him in the near future so far God has opeing many door (Prasie the Lord for that) . So keep praying .[/font]
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That's very interesting about the clawing of the face. Our daughter was cocaine exposed. She is now 2 and for the past 6 months or so she has been scratching other people (my husband, me, our oldest son, and a couple kids at daycare.) She's gotten better lately, thank goodness but she does have a quick temper when things don't go her way, for example, a toy not working the way she wants it to, etc.
Kathy