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Originally Posted By How could she?I found and met my bmother about two years ago. She expressed no emotion except a strong desire that I tell no one about my existence. I would think that in the 39 years that have passed since my birth, she would have come around to maturing and accepting her "unfortunate mistake" (me). We have had no further contact and my one note to her since our meeting has gone unanswered. Do I give up and go away or try some other tactic? This is so strange to me because I know I would have been thrilled by the reunion had our roles been reversed. Help!
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I just got my son's adoption records all of it i know where he lives an his name. He just applied when they were notifying him of me wanting excess which he gave. Now I have to wait till he gets his records.. I want to go drive by an see if i can catch a glimpse ..
i fear he won't welcome me. As i was forced to give him up.
I know I can't take away any confusion he might feel. I will welcome him with open arms an all the love in my heart. I hate how the state lied to me when they took him i gave a gift an letter which he was to receive at his 14 th bd but it is in the sealed records along with all the notes i sent during the years.
this is killing me emotionally.. I am so sad but happy he is so close but so far i cant see or touch him yet. :(
I am SO where you are right now! After finding my birthmother after 43 years, I wrote her a gentle, caring letter encouraging her to make contact. Got a letter back from her yesterday - inside was my letter, unopened, with a sticky note that said, Do No Want Contact. The rejection is hard to swallow, isn't it? As an adoptee, do feel 'abanadoned' by your birthparents? Depending on when you were born, many pregnant women were sent away to have their babies - the babies that because a big, dark secret.
Are there any other avenues you can go? Do you have any siblings you could contact?
The agency i was adopted from found my birthmother around 8 months ago. She was very short with them and shocked that they called. She made it clear that she has their number, but has never called since. I dont know how to feel. After all these years searching and wondering.. Now what? I am really confussed and it has bothered me everday since they found her and she hasnt wanted to get in contact with me. Everyday I think will maybe today she will call. Hmmm but nothing. It is very hurtful. I sometimes wish i just never looked at all, because then i wouldnt have to know that she just doesnt want to be bothered with me at all. :(
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hvalentine
Thank you. Im not sure if she knows much about the birthfather. :( I asked the agency if they could contact her again and find out more, but they said they were only allowed to make that one time contact and now it is up to her to contact them.
Right now I'm going through a rejection also. It's eating me up inside. I've searched for over 20 years for my 1/2 sister and 1/2 brother. 7 months ago I found them. My sister and I have a wonderful relationship, but my brother doesn't want to have anything to do with me. My sister doesn't want to get him mad at her so she won't give me any info. about him so I can contact him myself. She did give him my info. He never knew about me. I don't even know why this is so important to me. Why should I care about someone that doesn't care about me? But I can't sleep at night and I keep thinking about it all the time. He's like the last piece to my puzzle. I should just be happy that I know who he is now. But I just would have liked to talk to him just once. I've considered writing him a letter and asking her to give it to him. Is it really worth the effort? I'd appriciate any advice.
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write the letter it can't hurt. I have written letters to my son he doesn't reply but you know it still lets him know im here because when he first found me he was happy somewhat but confused as he doesn't want to hurt the parents who raised him and i don't want him to hurt them. i am happy knowing where he lives, works an that he is healthy and alive he has pictures of me an his sibblings an his nieces an nephew. so it may not be the relationship i wish for but he is alive an happy.
on the note of you wanting to meet an solve the problem an it constantly bugging u well i use to be that way about my own parents that raised me an gave me birth i begged for there love but now at 52 i know there not worth it but they live a lonely pathetic life afraid afraid of what i know and what hey don't want anyone else to know i know this is in rhymes but still sometimes the love or trying to give it to someone just doesn't work.