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Originally Posted By MaryI have a biological only child, and she says that she really wants to have a sibling. We're now considering adoption, but even though she says she wants a sibling we are unsure of what it will be like after we adopt a child. She has so many privileges now as an only child, that she won't have after we adopt. She might feel she was happier as an only child after we adopt, and we would never want to give back a child after we adopted. Does anyone have an only child, and adopted another kid? What was there reaction having another child in the house, and suddenly having to share everything? Thank you.
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Originally Posted By LynneOur only son was 10 when we adopted a 7 year old boy & a 5 year old girl. His reactions still vary from tolerance to complete acceptance. I grew up in a family of 4 and view his relationship with his new siblings as no different than mine with my brothers & sister. Sharing the attention has been difficult but he is doing well. I think the key is to reassure your child that you are not replacing her with the adopted child.
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Originally Posted By GloriaI also had an only child and adopted 2 girls.I would consider adopting yonger than your only child if I were you.We adopted older than our own and it has been quite a struggle.Though I know the Lord will work it all out I don't think I would go older than my own again.
Originally Posted By brandyWe had a 7 year old biological only child and adopted a 5 year old. I don't think the issue of adoption has much bearing on your particular question. My mother was 7 when her younger brother was born and she was very jealous of him throughout her childhood. Indeed she has told me she was much happier as an only child! Happily they grew to have a good relationship as most siblings do. We had similar concerns as yours in deciding to adopt. We have done our best to provide our second child with the same things the first child had. But there are some things that must be shared and that is good. Sharing is a fact of life, it has to be done and makes for good character. Most of our jealousy questions have come from our adopted child in fact. He was the oldest child in his biological home and is now the baby. As the youngest he has an earlier bedtime, etc. he claims it's all very unfair.lol. Our first child has done well, she has gained a lot of social skills she didn't have before we adopted, like sharing. When she was an only child and in Kinder-garten she just couldn't believe how immature those other children were! I think we treated her more like an adult. Now she's not growing up so fast. She and her brother are too busy hunting for worms right now to grow up much.
Originally Posted By HannahIt does have its ups and downs. My daughter went from a 17yo only to the oldest of 3 overnight when I adopted a 5yo girl and a 6yo boy in Sept. Her reaction: not much different than mine towards my siblings as the oldest of 4. Some days they are the greatest...other days she is ready for them to go away. Overall, it was the best thing I have ever done. She wanted and needed siblings. She has matured more in the last 2 months than in the last 2 years. My opinion...go for it!
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Originally Posted By HannahIt does have its ups and downs. My daughter went from a 17yo only to the oldest of 3 overnight when I adopted a 5yo girl and a 6yo boy in Sept. Her reaction: not much different than mine towards my siblings as the oldest of 4. Some days they are the greatest...other days she is ready for them to go away. Overall, it was the best thing I have ever done. She wanted and needed siblings. She has matured more in the last 2 months than in the last 2 years. My opinion...go for it!
Originally Posted By HannahIt does have its ups and downs. My daughter went from a 17yo only to the oldest of 3 overnight when I adopted a 5yo girl and a 6yo boy in Sept. Her reaction: not much different than mine towards my siblings as the oldest of 4. Some days they are the greatest...other days she is ready for them to go away. Overall, it was the best thing I have ever done. She wanted and needed siblings. She has matured more in the last 2 months than in the last 2 years. My opinion...go for it!