Reasons why it's great being adopted

What a great thread :)

i'm so lucky to be adopted. my birthmom was only 14 years old when she gave birth to me. she could've easily turned to the alternative like many young girls would do. they think its the only way out; but its not. i love my parents. i love who they are, and how they've raised me. and nothing can change that. but there's always that part of me where wants to know where i cam from and who i really am. i'm the only blonde in my family [my uncle is, too. but he's not blood line. married into the family.] i'm the only irish one in my italian family. sometimes - you just wanna know.

I am so fortunate to be adopted in a family that only God could have chose for me. My amom is my ONLY momma as far as I am concerned. Though I knew my bmom all my life I never knew her as my bmom, just an aunt. She chose not to disclose who she was and forbad my aparents from telling me. I found out a few years ago and that is when I became ever so grateful that I was not raise by her or in her home. Don't get me wrong, there are some awesome bmoms here but sadly my bmom was not one of them. She was always selfish, self serving, manipulative and quite decietful. If abortion were easily accessible back then she would have been first in line to have aborted me. This is a fact, a sad reality of my life, but I choose to focus on the wonderful family God did bless me with. The very first bottle` I was actually fed while being held was when I was 91 days old and that was from my amom. The first kiss on the forehead I ever recieved while in amom's arms was from adad. t hurts my heart when I read of not so happy adoptees who were not as fortunate as myself. I am sad for adoptees with that void in their lives. I know that adoption has so may different outcomes, but I thank God daily for mine. I did n't find out who my bmom was until years after she passed away, but if I had one thing to tell her, it would be "Thank You" Sometimes, rejection is God's protection. This holds true in my life. EZ Remembering my 3 brother's in Heaven today who went to live with Jesus years before I was born. Oct15 [url=http://www.october15th.com/]Remembering Our Babies, Pregnancy Loss Support - Official Site of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day October 15th[/url]

EZ, What a wonderful attitude. Thank you for posting.

I had/have great parents who raised me with lots of love. They are truly wonderful people...........actually I think I might have had one of the most totally functional families out there, honestly. I was afforded lots of experiences and travelled extensively, got a great education and had a very comfortable life. :thankyou: One other perk of adoption- when we'd go to family reunions and be around some weird, strange, odd relatives- I'd always be thinking: "MAN I am SOOOOOOOOO glad I'm not related to these weirdos!!!!!!!!!" That was a great thing about being adopted!:rockband: Gotta keep a sense of humor.........

LOL. . . that is so funny. I used to joke about the same thing. . . one time my mom accidently tripped over the carpet in this restaurant in Moro Bay and she landed face first in this guys crotch. I was a teenagers and so was like, "Geez mom . . . how embarrassing. . . No genetic relation here folks!!" But I too have just had the most awesome adoption experience. Never have felt a void, always have felt super loved. My parents were older when the adopted me and were financially stable and I was therefore able to travel and attend a good private university. My parents are also godly people and through them, I was able to accept Jesus as my savior. . . possibly this is the most important component of my adopted life and the one that I am most thankful for.

you know what I wish? I wish this country wasn't such a piece of ****, and had REAL SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEMS for mothers unwed, or wed so that ALL CHILDREN would have the SAME OPPORTUNITIES regardless of how "well to do" their parents were. Did any of you think of that? Mothers wouldn't have to make a decision like give their BABY AWAY (get your head around that) so that their children can have good schools, and opportunities like the "well to do" Maybe many of you should reconsider the reasons you are "happy" or feel loved? Why do most of you assume your life would have been worse? Because you believed the "party line" about how ALL mothers who give children for adoption are po-folks. What about the HUGE numbers of wealthy girls who got knocked up and their parents were religious and humiliated so they went to "boarding school" (read as: catholic home for pregnant teens) to have the baby? If you ask me it was 50/50. Totally possible I grew up poor compared to the statistics of the number of uber-wealthy catholic girls who were with child and unwed. look at all the posts. LOVE=MONEY common trend

how is that superficial? Not at all. In the "adoption world" money and comfortable life is the premium! Its the MAIN coping mechanism used to teach young children they are "better off." So, If you found out your birth parents were wealthier than your current parents I would SUE!! absolutely! Especially since you were sold a bill of goods about how you are better off now. Best way is observe them from a distance, if you find them spoiling poodles or something like that you got em!!! nail em for it!! But, they could always come back at you and say "we wanted you to live with those poor middle class people to teach you the value of a dollar....now come along Mister Tibbles we have a spa treatment" Double edge sword.

BKAugust, Your opinion is very valued here on this site, however this particular thread is for individuals who want to state what they feel is great about their adopted experience. Perhaps creating a thread elsewhere about your feelings concerning the connection of wealth and love/happiness in a different section of the forums may be more appropriate? I'm sure it will be a rousing debate with many people weighing in. However, I feel that it is important for those of us who have happiness regarding adoption no matter what the motive behind it to be allowed to have those feelings, as you are allowed to have yours. For my part, my parents' financial security allowed them to dwell more on loving actions than say someone who has to think about basic fundamental needs such as food and shelter on a daily basis. There is a book called "The Five Love Languages of Children". The five languages are quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. It is probably more difficult to spend quality time with your children if you are spending your time at the entrance of a supermarket with a sign saying, "No money, need food." It's probably more meaningful to snuggle your child in the safety of a house, rather than in the stressful situation of a shared cot in a homeless shelter. It is probably more difficult to provide acts of service to your child when you have no car, no money, no home, and no safety. It's probably difficult to provide a gift out of love to a child when the only gift you may be able to provide is clean diapers. You may be able to tell your child, "I love you so much!" as you tuck them into a cardboard box under a bridge, but think about how much more meaningful that is to a child in the comfort of a clean bed with good food in their tummy. Financial well-being in a child mind probably does equal love and that's okay. Now, on the other hand, one can look at situations like the Jews in the Warsaw ghetto where there was NOTHING, no resources for the families there. They all knew that they faced certain death. But families stayed together and probably felt more love packed together like sardines in squalor facing horrible death than before, when they were living in nicer conditions. Then again, perhaps that is comparing apples to oranges. . . that group of individuals had a system of beliefs and values and a strong community. I guess my point is that money does matter, but so does values and moral beliefs. I'm very happy that even if the government put my bio-fam up in a mansion and gave them everything that they could have possibly wanted that I was given up for adoption. While my bio-fam was never on the street after I was given up for adoption (it benefitted both of us you can see), the moral/values system of the family assured that the next generation also has had multiple problems as will probably the generation after that. I don't believe that all mothers give up their children because they are poor and I don't think that most adopted adults think that either. That was, in fact, the situation in my case, but I've always had the realistic view that there are TONS of reasons that women give their children up and money is just one of those reasons. So I have reconsidered the reasons I'm happy about being adopted as you suggested. I'm still happy that I never had to want for anything and to me as a child, that did equal love. I'm also happy that I didn't have to be party to multiple marriages and divorces, witness to maternal beatings, kidnappings by bio-fathers, and general emotional turmoil. . . I would not have bloomed in that atmosphere even if we were as rich as kings. And as I said before, I wouldn't have been introduced to my religious beliefs which I think would have left me in the darkest place of all.

Birthmom chiming in here. I was not wealthy, by any means, but neither was I poor. I was working and had health insurance. The decision to place a child for adoption is usually very complex, and not always just about $$$. In my case, all the money in the world would not have made me ready to parent my child in the way I wanted him parented.

My adoption has nothing to do with money. My birth family was poor. There were 7 years in 10 years. I was the 3rd. They were alcoholics who managed to barely hold it together until my bio dad died. Prior to his death there was neglect and abuse but nothing that was caught by DSS. After his death my bio mom was reported several times before the family was investigated. We were left home alone at night many times. There were several medical emergencies while my bio mom went out drinking. She brought home strange men. She spent the settlement money (from my bio dad's wrong death suit) on a motorcycle for her new boyfriend. And not one person from my extended family (each of parents had 4 siblings and living grandparents) stepped up to offer to assist us when the state stepped in. I was in care for 2 years before being placed and my bio mom did not work her plan at all. And when I found her as an adult she didn't see anything wrong with anything she had done during that process.My adoptive family struggled financially too. As a child we had a car that if you turned the car off while the windshield wipers were going the horn would honk. We bought furniture at garage sales. We didn't have a TV. What I did have were 2 parents who were present for me. They went out and had a social life but I had a babysitter when they did. There was also food on the table. They spent time with me. I never had to worry about where they were or who to go to. I never doubted their love. Even when my aparents separated and divorced they always made me believe I (and my sister) were their number one priority.There is a lot that could be done to support the poor and overwhelmed. But I know that my life would have been very different if I had not been adopted. I love my afamily and I am very happy they are my family. And I am very happy that I was moved from my bio family to my afamily.Samantha

I did not place my bson because he would be living in a card board box if I raised him... I placed him because I believed he deserved two parents who were ready and wanting to parent. His parents love him as I do, and raised him to the best of their ability. They are not wealthy and he was not better off financially than I was. That was not my top priority. I appreciate reading the thoughts of adoptees who are believe their adoptions were good for them. My bson will be 37 this year; we have been in reunion for 4 years. He now have 2 families also, but his aparents remain his parents. (Something I think is positive!) Keep the positive stories coming!

Yes, I love this thread too! I am so happy not to be an abortion, it makes every day a little more special!

My mom would have aborted me, except for my aunt and uncle stepping up to say they would adopt. When my aunt got pregnant that fell through, so they placed me through the state. I was in an adoptive home for two weeks, when my aunt and uncle decided to pay my parents to take me back. They did so. My mother was not ready to be a mother, my dad was an alcoholic. My dad took me to bars with him because he was afraid to leave me alone with my my mom because he had seen the abuse she was heaping on me. The abuse continued for the rest of my childhood. It had nothing to do with money, it was the fact that my mom was not able to be a parent. She also did not want to be a parent. I often wonder if those adoptive parents who had me for that short time would have actually wanted me and loved me instead of telling me how I ruined thier lives. The truth is the grass is not always greener on the other side. There is no way to know what life would have been like for me with those adoptive parents and there is really no way for you guys to know what life would have been like with your birth parents. So mostly I try to be grateful for what I have and the lessons I have learned and the people I have met along the way. I am so happy to read this tread and know there are adoptees who felt loved. I love my children all of them so much and would do anything for them. Both of my adopted children had been abandoned long before I came along. I try my best to give them them the love that thier birth parents could not and have to hope that it is enough and that it's a better life than had they stayed in the orphanages where I found them.

I have recently met a bhalf-sister and feel greatful that I was placed for adoption by bmom 10 years before bhalf-sister was born. I had wonderful aparents who were loving, caring people who provided opportunities for me that I might not have had otherwise. I never searched for bfamily until after my aparents passed away - my adad was 93 and my amom was 95. I sought bmom to get health info - never really intending to meet her. I made indirect contact via a bcousin who took my emails to her. She provided health info and said she did not wish contact, which did not upset me. I am now awaiting the name of my bfather so I can receive health info from that side. I have met other memebers of my bfamily - very warm and welcoming people who feel I should be able to have access to all info available. (P.S. - My bmom passed away a year after I made indirect contact) so I am glad I searched when I did.:flower: