Reunion stories needed

I was adopted at birth by a loving couple. My Bmom was almost 18 years old when she had me and was heavy on marijuana at the time. She had already had my big sister at age 16 and wasn't prepared to take care of another child. So, she made the most important choice of her life, to give me up for adoption. She found a couple that she really liked and got to know them well. The Bfather wanted nothing to do with my birth and refused to meet the Adoptive parents. I was born in 1989. My parents wouldn't put me down for a second as my Bmom rested up and spent an hour crying over her choice with my Amom in the hospital room. My mom left the hospital the next day and was homeless with my sister for 3 years. Life was horrible. Social services took my sister away from my mom and she spent the next 12 years and still is in a foster home in WA. I met my Bmom a couple times when I was little but the memories are quick and in black and white. I grew older and was curious about where I had come from. I searched through a box filled with papers, pictures, and letters from my Bfamily and Aparents extended family welcoming me into their family. Then I began my search. I felt that there was a huge hole in my life and that I needed to fill it by finding my Bfamily. One day we searched for a couple hours and found a number in the box. We called it and it was my grandma!! I was THRILLED. SO NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, SCARED!!! We talked for a half and hour and then I recieved my Bmom's home phone number. I called her later that night. She surprised me when her voice sounded like a man. It was the drugs. She had also broken her back 2 years before at her job. I loved talking to her but she became to clingy and I was feeling forced to call her mom and talk to her once a week. Before I was so scared that she only wanted to be friends and not be my mother. Now I feel that no one can do that but my Afamily, my family. We lost contact. One day I sent her a random letter asking to contact my sister. 2 months later I got a letter from my sister! EVEN MORE EXCITING!!! I called her and it was sooooo emotional, crying, laughing, seriouness, great stuff. We talked 5 times a day for about 2 weeks, then it went to 2 times a day for a month, and now it is once every day. We are both angry at our mom for being so druggy and living the way she does. We motivated her to take college courses. Wonderful!! I reunited with my grandma soon after I found my sister and it was a wonderful day. I felt so at home although i clung to my Amom's shoulder all day. Pictures, tears, hugs, and memories. Me and my sister are reuniting this summer for 2 weeks. I am just so nervous to step further and meet my Bmom for the first time in 10 years. It's like being born again in a different light. If you have any questions to ask me I am open to it! Thanks for listening to my story!:)

I am 37 and I met my birthfather ten years and three months ago. Unknowlingly, I attended the same undergraduate and law schools that he did. When we met at a restaurant on a Friday night, we were both carrying a silver cross pen in the shirt pocket of our dress shirts. Today, we remain close. I am a father now myself and his daugther (my half sister) is designated in my will to take guardianship of my daughter if anything ever happens to me. I was raised with two siblings in my adoptive family. We are close, but we each are very different. I am the youngest and I began the search process first and mine was the longest and most difficult. We have all found that we are very much like our biological families. I have met my birthmother. She keeps me a secret from her family. She acts as if it is still 1966 and that getting pregnant without being married (37 years ago) would ruin her reputation today.

Huge thanks for all of your replies! Would any of you be willing to answer a few additional questions? If so, please reply, and I will post them to the site. Thanks again! Mysti

What are your other questions.

Fire away! I'd be happy to answer any other questions. D:D

In response to your adoption stories needed... I am 24 years old, and reunited with my birthmother in December of 2003. I was adopted as a newborn of 12 days, and my aparents have always encouraged me to find her. She had been looking for years, so exactly 1 week to the day that I started doing Google searches, I found a phone number and address on the internet and called her that night. We have seen each other a handful of times since then, keep in touch regularly, and it is amazing how much of myself I see in her, combined with what I recognize as being learned from my afamily. Our relatinoship has already had it's twists and turns, as she just had surgery, but I am thankful each day that I have her in my life. Ask away; it is therapeutic to discuss it...

Again, thanks to each of you! The research that I am doing focuses highly on family systems, therefore, some of the questions are systemic in nature - if you need or would like clarification on any of them, please don't hesitate to ask. I apologize if some seem redundant to what you've already told me - it is a challenge asking the same set of questions to everyone. Please only answer to the degree that feels comfortable to you. If you would prefer to respond via e-mail, so that your answers will be kept confidential, let me know and I'll get you my address. Okay, here are the questions: 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available?

Okay, here are the answers: 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? Having two families is actually quite exciting and a lot of fun! It's cool to feel like I have more people in life to not only love but to love me! :) My adoptive family has grown smaller each year and it is now just me, my mom and my brother. (a.dad passed away when I was still in high school) My mom has ONE sister (no kids) still living and THAT's it! So we have really shrunk in size. The only people we still talk to on my adoptive father's side are his sister and her husband and their two children. But not very often, so I had this tiny little family and then whammo all of a sudden I had another mother, a grandfather (albeit a screwed up one), a sister, two brothers, a step dad, several aunts and uncles and tons of cousins. Though I have not met anyone but my bio. mother in person (that will change this summer!!!!!), I have had contact with most of them and it's been AWESOME! Now, since my reunion, my a. mother has remarried, so my family has again grown in leaps and bounds - I now have ANOTHER Step dad, four step-sisters, their husbands, neices & nephews and more! LOL Having lots of family is great - whether from just one family or two (or three in my case LOL) 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? Oh I NEVER EVER fit into my adoptive families "system". I was loud, exciteable, high energy, active and more. They were laid back, quiet, prestigious, persnikity, and any other adjective I could use to describe a "hoighty toighty" personality. When I found my b.mom we found SO many things we had in common - it was amazing our collections mimiced each other's, our hobbies were exactly the same, our passions/careers have been similar, our lifestyles, it was amazing. I met her in November for the first time face to face and it was a week of self-discovery for me. I was suddenly 100% secure with the person I was. I realized it wasn't that I didn't "fit" into my adoptive family's system, but it was that I DID fit into my biological family's system. They are just different, and I (unfortunately) have to be two different people. But that is alright. My b.family actually get's the better deal LOL I get to be the real me! 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? Oh goodness. I finally feel good about who I am, what I've accomplished. I don't second guess myself all the time, which I have been doing since early childhood. I feel happier, when I'm sad, there is always someone to talk to. The search was exausting and eventful - tons of information. I was consumed by it for two years - it was all I ate, breathed and slept for those two years! The reunion (original back in 1996 with b.mom) was scary, but made me a more assertive, stronger individual. I began to take risks and live life a little more care-free than I did. The second reunion (face to face for the first time in November), was an emotional rollercoaster. I was so scared, nervous, intimidated for about a week before she got her, but that was all released the second she laid eyes on me in the airport. It was amazing to feel all the weight, the praying I'd done, the hoping she'd love me no matter what, just disappear. I was staring into my own eyes, looking into almost my own face. It was a beautiful moment and I truly believe I was forever changed at that moment. Through her lifestory I was able to learn about her struggles, her mistakes, and learn how I came to be. Before that, I think I'd lived my life through a lifelong identity crisis. But no longer. I am so secure in who I am now, that the stuff my a. mother used to do that upset me, hardly get's to me at all anymore. I know that at least there is a mother out there for me, that would take my a.mother's place in a heartbeat - would trade all those years with her for ANYTHING and somehow, that has just changed me, and made me realize that life is okay. (Ok I know it's sappy but it's the TRUTH!) 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? Absolutely nothing. Well, I Guess if I had to choose one thing, For ME (and this is only me) it was growing up looking like the people in your family, behaving like them, understanding them and them understanding you. I envied that a LOT in my friends growing up! 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? OH MY GOSH YES! See #3 above, I think I summed it up well there. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? Nothing except trying to maintain two different existances. My a.mother is not only NOT interested in hearing or learning about my biological findings, but will not LISTEN to it either. Or simply says harsh words putting down what I have to say, or what they've told me, etc. So I would definitly have to say the one and only thing is just maintaining the two different families. 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? Yes, my adoptive family had a lot of $$, lived in a different "world" if you will, than my b. family. I realize that isn't exactly "culture" or "religion" but it definitly fits into a culture shock when you realize that total difference in them. And I hate to say it but my biological mother (yes the one with no $$ all her life) has lived a much more fulfilling and rewarding life than my a.mother and all her money. Interesting comparison I did for an article once. Truly educational! 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? Mostly online resources. I used the internet FREQUENTLY. I also made some wonderful life long friends during my search (two who will be in my wedding!). I especially loved the message boards and websites dedicated to the biological side of the search (Adoptee's or birthparents). 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? I just wish MORE information was available on the internet and that you didn't have to trek to the library so often to look this up or that up, because the information has not been transcribed on the internet. That was annoying and hard to deal with at times, but otherwise, it seems that many services ARE available - you just have to know where to look!! Hope these questions helped! Feel free to contact me if you'd like more information! Thanks, Nicole reunited happily with birthmom & 3 half-siblings in 1995-1997 searching for birth parent(s) of baby boy born 8/31/69 in St. Louis, MO searching for birthparent(s) baby boy born 12/26/78 in Houston, TX

Okay, here are the questions: 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? There is a clear division for me between the 'family' I grew up with and the 'family' that I found. The positives, I grew up with a good family who just happened to be nothing like me, and another positive is that I was able to find my birth family. The negative is I grew up feeling very alien, and even now I feel the consequences of growing up not fully understanding who I am. 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? My personal fit, I am the youngest and most educated in my adoptive family. I am the peacemaker and possibly the favored child. In my birthfamily I am the oldest, I am the new guy, I am the one who tries to fit into a group of people who grew up knowing one another. 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? Life for me would not have been worth living if I had to live my life not knowing who my parents were. From the night I met my birthfather, it is as if I walked through a door and I never had to go back to not knowing again. 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? They grew up knowing their biological parents. They never have to know what it is like not knowing anyone who is biologically related to you. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? Indescribably so. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? Scheduling visits on the holidays. 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? Not in my case. 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? A fantastic group called Reunite. 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? I attended a very good support group, but this was outside of the institution that I was adopted through. It would be nice if more agencies accepted that search is an inevitability with some curious adoptees, such as myself.

1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? For me it means a few things to have two families. First and foremost, it means I am never alone; I will always have someone out there who cares about me, who will be there. It means that there is truly no limit on the amount of love you can give. However, at times it feels like there are two sets of "expectations". Since I have no siblings in either family, at times I feel more internal pressure to be "successful" in their eyes. It is also difficult to explain to people without going through the entire story and getting questions. 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? Well in my adoptive family, whom I consider my parents, I have never felt out of place. I had never wondered what it was like not to be adopted because I never felt like I was. But when I met my extended maternal biological family, I was amazed at how at home I felt among this huge group of perfect strangers, and even more amazed to look around and see my arms, my smile, my cheeks...to think that they had my blood running through their veins, and that my quirkiness was not entirely my own. I know for a fact that everyone felt I fit right in. 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? How has it not?? The first day I spoek to my bmom, I went to bed thinking, my life will never be the same again. I suddenly became aware of how badly I wanted this, how badly my soul wanted those answers. There really was a sense of closure asociated with a portion of my life that I had never on a conscious level wondered about much. 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? If I were to answer anything here I would be making it up. I could not have picked a better family with which to grow up, and could not have picked a better family with which to be reunited. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? Definitely. Since my reunion is still fairly new, I am discovering everyday. I had not had time to fully weigh the finality of my search for a bloodline, so I am still floored at the way I have handled it. I feel more in touch. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? Vacation times, splitting holiday time (which I have not yet had to ponder). The torn feeling between both afamily and my bmom. 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? Luckily, no in religion. However, my bfamily is of German/Polish decent while my afamily is Spanish. The cultural difference I don't see as that bad only because I was raised in the United States. 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? Coworker support was important; I had some involved with adoption that were great resources. Thank goodness for the searcg engine "GOOGLE"!! I was able to find her one week to the day I began looking. 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? Yes, I wish I had been more aware of this access/finding network when I was younger. I felt as if I had been in an adoptive bubble throughout my life when my bmother was at my fingertips.

Here's mine-I've been reunited for 12 years with most contact with bmom & her family. But I am also married to an adoptee who is also reunited with both sides. 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? I don't have two families-they are all my family. I was raised italian with a large italian family so now I have extended it even further with my french side-my birth family. The hardest part comes when my daughters (4 & 6) have to remember which Grandma is which-especially since all of our birth families are far away-mine in AZ, my husband's in Canada. 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system?I never 'fit' into my adoptive family-I was raised to be the family caretaker and that has continued to be my role but I feel much less obligated than I did prior to finding. It may be more of the fact that I have my own children but I am not sure. As for my birth family-I am the oldest of five, and I found when I was embarking on my first marriage(ended in divorce) and my siblings were in their teens. We are also separated by distance and that has hindered the full assimilation of me into the family. The first time I met them and had dinner wit them all is the first time I ever felt like I was truly part of a family. But when it comes to visits or my mother's priorities- I have clearly not been #1 in anything but age. I have accepted this and know that it is not thru any lack of love, it is more the expedience of the younger kids being there and needing more. She is my mother and we have an unconditional relationship which is very much like that I would have had with a favorite aunt. She is not and can never be my 'mommy'- but that's not what I was looking for. I have my answers and I have the love that was always there waiting for me. 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? It gave me the confidence to look myself in the mirror and say that I deserve a good life (hence my divorce from a abusive relationship). It forced me to accept that my differences can't be explained away by being adopted or on unknown genetics-I am a product of both nature and my environment. Through my search efforts for others I met and married another reunited adoptee and we have two daughters-this was my life path and I would not wish to change it because my choices led me to create these two beautiful children. 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? Hard to explain - I would search every face, eyes, smile I passed to see if it was similar to mine. I envy nonadoptees who don't have to have those thoughts-its like having a 2nd skin- no one else can see it but you feel it every time you move. I envy that they had a resource for medical information and never had a doctor question the blanks I left on family history forms. I envy that when as school children they were assigned a family tree they sat down with their parent and simply wrote it out and maybe laughed over a family anecdote. I put my adoptive family on my branches but felt that the roots were the only real part of my tree: but as strong as the roots were they were always beneath the surface. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family?Very much so -I never felt abandoned my mother but still had abandonment issues. I found out that I was adopted twice and rejected by the first family-that's why I never attached to my 2nd adoptive mother. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? At first-getting my amom to accept it-that took time but has worked. For my husband his afamily were wonderfully supportive and they all had a wonderful reunion with his bmom & her family. On the other hand -when he told bmom he was reuniting w/bfather she felt betrayed that he would accept bdad who had so greatly hurt her. Now it is a problem -when bdad is around we can't invite bmom-and it has changed bmom's & my husband's relationship forever. 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion?I worked with a local support group as this was 13 years ago-really before internet. I was a search assistant with ALMA for several years. Now I help others online. 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? I am not the 'adopted child' yet that's how I was treated and had to behave to request my information. The gov't is finally noticing that we exist and that our histories are a valuable part of us. It was especially hard for me that my agency requires adoptive parents today to meet the birth mother and maintain some contact- but I had to fight tooth and nail to get the color of her eyes. The hypocracy of it all seems so symbolic within Catholic regimes-especially as so much comes to light with all of the coverups that have taken place-I can tell you that the priests inappropriate behavior is not their only sin.

1. What does it mean to have two families? I want to make both of them happy. I try not to talk too much about my birth family with my adoptive family. they were wonderful to me and although they say they are supportive ,, I've seen hurt in their eyes. I've met alot of my birth relatives. I have alot of birth relatives. They have all been very accepting and welcoming. 2. How has search and reunion changed your life.? Almost all questions are answered. No more wondering and questioning. That's a peace that you can't buy. I am much more secure and confident actually. 3. What do you envy about people not adopted? Everything. Growing up with your siblings-priceless!! (I have alot of them). Knowing who you are from the getgo and not feeling rejection every time you look in the mirror. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself? ABSOLUTELY!! It's bizarre how much I am like my birth mother and sister. 6. What aspects became more challenging? Just keeping in touch with everyone. 7. Differences in culture and religion? Not really, just religion. 8. What support services were available? None. My family found me from info posted on the internet. My husband was sort of supportive but I basically made it through on my own.

I was reunited with my bmom in 2001 after a search that began, seriously, in 1985. After a million dead-ends, a binder that was 5 inches thick and filled past capacity as well as help from friends & support groups an online "search angel" gave me a tid-bit of info that ended up being the key to unlock everything! On a whim I went on classmates.com and typed in my bmoms name (maiden) and up popped a profile for her! I zipped over to the High School (was in the next town) and lied my way into photocopying her senior pic ( "I'm looking for my moms friend from school way back when") and the second I saw her face I knew it was her. She looked just like me. Within 2 days we were speaking to each other on the phone. We still speak thru emails weekly. She's visited me a few times and I've visited her just this Jan (look at our "Vegas" pics on my website, that's my bmom!). The strangest coincedence was she has a craft business called "unique creations by Vicky". I have a craft business called "Unique creations by Margaret"...I guess great minds DO think alike! lol. ------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------- 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? Two? It spreads out so much farther than two. I lost my grandparents (both sets) at a young age. Since finding my bmom I have grandparents again! My adoptive family is small; not a lot of aunts and cousins that I know of or that my parents keep in contact with but since meeting my bmom I have an aunt, cousins and even nieces! It's wonderful. The negative aspects are walking that fine line of not hurting anyones feelings. It's tricky. My bmom gave me a charm that says "#1 daughter", mind you it took YEARS for her to be able to send me anything that had the word "daughter" in it. Well my mom saw it and that was a bit awkward. 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? I'm still finding my place in my bmoms family. I have yet to meet them but have talked to them via emails and letters and even an occassional phone call. They have been very receptive and loving since the beginning; never any negative feelings towards me. With my bmom we're still finding each other's "niche"; where our boundries are, what's not appropriate and what is. It's a work in progress. 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? COMPLETELY! It has closed the circle for me. A huge chunk of my life was unknown for so long. I was a very depressed teenager because normal teenage "angst" took on a whole other meaning being adopted. I turned being adopted into being unwanted which was completely wrong! My relationship and appreciation for my parents (adoptive) has actually grown stronger. We are much closer now then we used to be. I finally feel like all of the pieces are together and I can move forward. 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? My husband is not adopted and all of his life he had people around him who resembled him. His family history surrounded him and if he wanted to know anything, he just had to ask. However, I believe in fate and that I am where I am because I was supposed to be. I would not have the life I have know had my bmom kept me. I would not have my husband and children and life that I love. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? Not really. What I understood finally was the complete set of circumstances that surrounded the whole situation. The fight that my bmom and her mom had because my bmom wanted to put me up for adoption while her mom wanted to keep me. Knowing the whole story gave me a much better perspective. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? I wouldn't deem them as "challenges" at all. I just have added a few more branches to my family tree! 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? Not a big difference; my parents are very Catholic and go to church daily. My bmom is not Catholic but does attend church weekly. 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? I belonged to a group called "Triple Hearts" here in Vacaville. It's a triad support group. They were very helpful. I also had the help of so many unknown search angels online...thank you GOD for them! 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? I would appreciate our records being opened. I don't like having to be sneaky and having to lie to get the information that is due to me but that's the reality. It just perpetuates the "shhh....keep quiet, you're adopted" mentality that I think is more damaging than the process itself.

Okay, here are the questions: 1. What does it mean to you to have two families? What are the positive and negative aspects for you? It's great and fine with me!!!! I always knew I was adopted all my life, but always wondered who I looked like, etc. Having 2 families is just having more people to love!!!!!!!!! 2. How do you feel you fit into each family's system? My adoptive--I fit in, but was always wondering why I didn 't act like them or think like them. My birth---my b-mom & b -dad are deceased (and before I could meet them), but I do see similar characteristics in my aunt & uncle on my birthfather's side of the family. 3. How have your search and reunion changed your life? Made me a "whole person". I always had a piece of myself missing. Even though I didn't get the chance to meet my birthparents, just hearing stories about them from my blood relatives kinda fills in the hole!!!! 4. What do you envy (if anything) about people who were not adopted? They knew who their blood relatives were. They knew who the looked like, acted like & most important their medical backgrounds. 5. Did you develop a better understanding of yourself once you knew your biological family? Yes, I think. I was "suffering" for many years of searching for them. I am very grateful to have found them. 6. What aspects of life became more challenging as a result of finding your birth family? My hubby at first---he wanted all my suffering to end. I was still searching my birthfather's side of the family & he was getting fustrated with me. The reunion is still fairly new & it's getting a little better. 7. Were there differences in the culture or religions of your two families? My a-parents were catholic, went to church. Weren't rich, but well off. My birthfamily is not so lucky $$$. I think they are a different religion also. 8. What services or support were helpful to you as an adoptee, during your search, and/or after the reunion? [url]www.[/url] checkemout.com. Their info. is very precise. Thank you to them!!!!!!!!!! 9. Is there anything that you feel might have been helpful to you throughout your adoption/reunion process that wasn't available? Counseling. I probably should have contacted my agency, they have counseling. But I was just too **** stubborn!!!!!!! A support group would have been nice. But I did meet alot of adoptees & birthmom's online that have been lifesavers!!!! Thanks for listening!!!!!!!!!!! Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged 05-18-2004 02:51 PM

Hello. [FONT=courier new]Courier[/FONT] Red I started to search for my daugher when she turned 18.I didn't know that she was searching as well. I had registered on a website and diligently checked weekly. One day I decided to come to this website and immediatly found her. I was fortunate to know her adoptive name and the area she lived in so I was positive it was her. I'm convinced that divine intervention was at hand, I found her on my late father's birthday. I was unsure of the way I wanted to initiate contact. On the day my father had passed (3 years prior), I decided to call her. It was a risky move, I didn't know what kind of reception I would receive. Our initial phone call was full of joy and an immediate connection. She had been a few weeks away from sending me a letter through the agency I used when she was adopted. I had always kept them aware of my address and she was given non-identifying information. We live in different parts of the country but 3 months after our first contact, she and her boyfriend came to visit for a week. It was like we had known each other our entire lives. The bond was immediate, there was never an uncomfortable feeling. I had married her birthfather and she has a full brother. She had always thought she would just be meeting me and she was shocked and entralled by having an entire bio-family. Her brother who is 12, bonded in a way I never thought possible. They look alike, have a lot of similiar likes/dislikes and look amazingly alike. The rest of the family: grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins all felt as comfortable as we did. She was able to look at geneology books that went back to the 1800's and most of her questions were answered. She surprised me by flying in for Mother's Day and the joy I felt at having "all" of my children with me was overwhelming. We've continued to stay in contact although the initial flurry of phone calls and Emails have calmed down. We speak or mail at least 2x a week and she'll be coming this summer for a family reunion. The joy, happiness and feeling of finally being "whole" fills me with gratitude that we are finally a true family. Her adoptive parents haven't been nearly as happy and feel very threatened. They thought the initial curiosity would be sated and she would forget about us. I've attempted to make sure they know how much we love and honor the life they were able to give her and that they will always be her parents. They remain unable to grasp why she wants to with us and have become very clingy. We will continue to do our best to reassure them that we have no intention of trying to step into their shoes. I can only hope that other bio-parents have successful reunions and I will pray that they're dreams come true as well.