Hello there

What do you mean by birth plan? You've already been invited to be in the delivery room, right? I think it's kind that your potential child's mother is including you in with doctors appointments and delivery. She sounds like a very warm, caring and giving person. We have just been matched for a baby due mid June. A little boy, do you know the sex of your baby? I meeting our son's potential bmom in one week AND her parents. She is a teenager. Hugs,

BIG SUGGESTION- be there for the birth, but let birthmom do it all and have it all. I promise. Let her bond first, hold her baby first and make all the decisions before placement. Also, let her write up the birth plan-she is the one giving birth. (I found examples of them using askjeeves.com-there is a website that will write one for you based on your input). Birth plans come in second to hospital protocol so check that too. You may think that this is awful, but I promise: give the hospital to the birthmom. If you are there be in the background. You will thank me later and she will thank you for giving her the time with her only baby. After all, you can only say goodbye after you've said hello. My APs were there for the entire labor (delivery was in the OR) and the entire hospital stay. Their extended family came up and crowded the room for 24 straight hours and I was deprived time with my baby during that day and I regret it all. Of course I haven't told the APs that, but I will if they decide to adopt again. Let birthmom create some concrete memories with her baby while she is still mom. You being there might make her feel obligated to share, which she will probably regret later when she does not have those moments anymore or any way to get them back.

had a birth plan with my daughter's lifegiver :) but I left it up to her to put together & gave my input ONLY when she asked. I think that is only right! Wow, it has been 2 1/2 years now. We are very close with her & the grandma's wouldnt have it any other way. But let the ball stay in her court...so everyone involved can be more comfortable :)

Thanks Ladies Our birth mom did up the birth plan and we were quite surprised by it. She wants my DH and I to hold the baby first then Her and her Boyfriend. Then the baby will go to the nursery (Darcy and I changed that up a little bit we wanted her and her hubby to have a little time with baby all by them selves so we are going to go down and have a cup of coffee and then we will carry on with her plans). and My Dh and I will stay with the baby in the nursery until he/she is released to come home with us. The Birth mom has decided to leave the hospital as soon as she is capable of leaving. the ob/gyn said minimum of 6 hours. She came by last night and gave us a copy to hold onto for the hospital. We also gave a copy to the doc today. But see for us it is different since We have known her for awhile. So we will have contact with her quite a bit. She is giving us the first 2 months to bond with the baby then we will see her all the time, on holidays and out for coffee. Just so we can catch up. We are also exchanging pictures if either one of us move there will always be that and phone calls.

Another great way for the birthmom & all extended family to see the baby at their leisure is to set up a free web page at babiesonline ...not of course to take the place of visits & pictures in the mail (we have frequent contact also, in fact we are making a call to her in a few minutes for mother's day :)...but it is a nice avenue for all her family near & far away to watch them grow up, sign the guestbook & read their progress in the journal..we have had one for 2 1/2 years...the bgrandma's love it too! When ever we get our daughters pictures done we get the disk so we can download them right away...it is just another way to show how much you care. I love being a mom but even more I love those who made me one!

Hi Jodi, I think you sound like a very sweet person, wanting the bmom to have time with the baby. I do not mean to throw a wet blanket on anything, but I do want to caution you that even the best-laid birth plan can change. Just something to think about. Bmom might change her mind at the last minute about who holds the baby first, whether she wants aparents in delivery room, whether she wants to stay at the hospital longer, etc. This won't necessarily mean that she's changing her mind about the adoption...... just the hospital experience. Giving birth is soooooo emotional. As much as we try to prepare for it, we really can't completely. You just don't know what it's like until you're in the midst of it..... Take care! Nicole

I haven't decided on aparents yet for my baby, but when I do I will be having my own family at the hospital and in the delivery room. I think it's the way it should be. It's the birthmoms time to say goodbye's and whatever else she needs to do. Birthparents should decide on what goes on at the hospital and during her labor and pregnancy.