non-adopted, do I belong here ?

Just because you weren't formally adopted doesn't mean you don't have the same feelings and issues as others who were. There are people on here who were adopted by family members. I think you belong just as much as anyone else:D

welcome! Keep posting there are plenty of people here to listen. I just joined myself not too long ago. So far my experience has been positive. pink

Pat of course you beling here! I imagine that adoption wasn't as important when you were a child as it is today.... families now need to establish legal rights where it was most likely not as big an issue when you were a child.....It is great you had a loving aunt and uncle to raise you.....My uncle would be about your age now and he grew up in a boys orpahanage which was very painful....he reunited with his birthmother and she even lived with them when my uncle was a grown man and had his own family.....It wasn't very pleasant because his birthmother never really became a woman who cared about her children the way most of us do....confusing and heartbreaking all the same. My uncle passed away but, his birthmother is still alive and every three months she calls my aunt for money! Or to complaine or whatever other need she has....my aunt has the hardest time dealing with it---she feels used and after being the wife of my uncle for 38 years she feels like she is the only woman who ever really loved and understood him.... I am so sorry you have not found the kind of relationship you hoped you might with your mom.....I guess it is hard for an old dog to learn new tricks....She apperas to have spent the past 60 years not thinking about her child I guess it is not hard to believe that she would not think too much now....It cannot make you feel any better however.....but, I would guess that you are a much stronger person for the life you have lived.....I suppose if you want contact with her it is really always going to be you who needs to make the effort....I woulnd't give too much hope in her changing a pattern she has lived her whole life....sad--because she really is the one who missed out on so much......on knowing the daughter she gave birth too.... If I were you I could just understand she is not going to ever give you what you want--and I would make the effort to keep in touch and let her know that you have never stopped thinking of her....that way when you are here and she is passed on you would feel bad for not making the effort to let her know....I am sure that you love her....even if she has no idea what real love actually is..... Thanks for joining the site......you belong here and we are glad you singed up.....