Advertisements
I am a birthmom counting down the days till I can finally see (hopefully) our beautiful girl. I was in the Smithlawn Maternity Home in Lubbock, Texas, recentlly I found out about the registry. Only, through Smithlawn they want alot of money to sign up for this. I will pay anything to see her but they also have alot of stipulations on the reunion. They want me to go through their psychiatrist and have a session with him before we meet. Is this all neccessary? I still have a few years till I can see her (she was born in 1989)I am just frustrated. Could anyone help me understand all of this? Do I have to go through them? I did not leave the maternity home with good feelings. I was not informed on the registry and I still had alot of questions. I was very young then and maybe I did not get all the info I needed. Thank you for any help I can get.
Thank ya'll very much!
Like
1 Liked
Kim Stark likes this.
Share
ADOPTIVEMOMM
Smithlawn is old fashioned minded and prefers to keep everything secret. I think that's why they charge so much to reunite the birthmother and child. It's easier to post your information on all the adoption websites and hope for a reply. :flower:
Advertisements
I keep reading about the maternity home in Lubbuck but how can I find info about Homestead in Tarrant County, Texas. It burned down years ago and I believe that's where my mom gave birth to my sister that we have been searching for. She could have been at Gladney in Tarrant County but since my mom, her birth father and my grandfather (that put her in the home) have passed away, we aren't sure about many of the details. I was born 12/4/63 and we have been told she was born 2 yrs before my birth. My mom's name was Sandra Lee McClure but she could have been at the home under Sandra Lee West and our adopted sister's birthfather's name was Wendell Sanders.
If there's a miracle out there, we sure could use it right now.
Thank you guys!
Kim
I placed my son for adoption through Smithlawn in 1991. I did not live there - I had a job and apartment lease obligation at the time. I was 21 and living in a cottage with a bunch of rules just seemed a little backwards for me at the time.
I worked closely with Frances Phillips. Not once did she ever pressure me into a decision. I was always made aware from the beginning of the Texas Voluntary registry program. The registry is a state mandated program. Because adoptees and birth parents often turn to the placing agencies first, the state of Texas requires adoption agencies still operating to handle registries and paperwork.
The state of Texas - currently in 2009 - now requires a $30 processing fee to register. Both parties are required to pay this fee. This is NOT Smithlawn's doing - this is to go through the proper channels with the state of Texas. The way the registry works is that if both parties - birth parent and adoptee (once they've reached the age of 18) register - when a match is found - which is immediate when the second person in that match registers - then the parties are notified by the agency. The agency is required by the state of Texas to have each participant in the match go through a counseling session. I don't know if Smithlawn requires an additional fee to pay their counselor. I was told that there was a possibility in many cases for the counseling to be referred to a counselor local to you if you did not live i the Lubbock area. And I imagine in both cases, services are provided by a professional that would require a fee for their time and services.
I have done quite a bit of research on adoption, adoption law and reform, reunions, interviewing reunited birth parents to children in the state of Texas, etc. The approach by the state of Texas in regards to reunion takes very limited precautionary measures to help that such reunions go a little smoother and a little more successful. I have interviewed over ten sets of reunion matches. Only ONE out of ten of those when asked if they had it to do all over again, would they do the reunion again, only ONE said yes - and that particular set of circumstances were special to say the least since the adoptee had lost his adoptive parents and had no one to turn to.
It's just something to think about. This happens because the parties involved go into the reunion with different expectations than the other. One may go into it with just curiosity wanting a few answers while the other party in the match is looking for a permanent family role in the other's life. This is what the counseling is supposed to help prevent.
There are many who go out on their own and try to circumvent the system and hire private investigators (there's a pretty penny for you) or do Internet searches and often times that doesn't end too well when considered an invasion of privacy and breach of the closed adoption contract.
JoAnn Phillips is the contact person to work with at Smithlawn and I'll back up the person who said she is nice as can be and just a doll. She wants to help you as much as she can. However, just be understanding because of laws in the state of Texas, adoption contract boundaries limit what she can do for you many times. She has to work within those limits.
I am also an adoptee. I have not found my own birth mother yet. (And the agency I was placed through is far worse to deal with than Smithlawn.) As an adoptee, had my birth mother come looking for me unannounced at a time in my life that I wasn't ready for that reunion, I would have been angry and resented her intrusion.
I wish you all luck in your searches and reunions.
Advertisements
I am going to add something for my post in this thread. I have since learned that Smithlawn dangles out the voluntary registry like a carrot to birth moms. I found my son through searching - certainly not by the help of Smithlawn - that I placed and have learned a lot of things about their side of dealing with Smithlawn that makes me want to recant all the warm and fuzzy things I said about them. He was placed out of state and when they contacted them about finding me after he turned 18 they said it was impossible and never even told them about the state registry! They were betting on the fact that they wouldn't know about it and they were right.
Had I not found him in my own search (which isn't hard by the way - it's very easy - as the birth parent you hold the key info. As an adoptee in Texas, the search is virtually impossible to find birth family. ) we would have never made the connection.
Don't be afraid to do a search but carefully consider ALL parties involved. Not all adoptees are ready to be found. Also, when Texas births/placements are involved, do not pay anyone to do the search - the searches by birth families for an adoptee are quick and easy. There are those out there who know this but just want to line their pockets with your money.
There is a group on facebook for Smithlawn survivors and I also created a facebook group for birth mothers
Here are the links: [url=http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=84240626411]Welcome to Facebook! | Facebook[/url]
[url=http://www.facebook.com/#/group.php?gid=42719609206]Welcome to Facebook! | Facebook[/url]
kguff24
I am an 1986 adoptee of the Smithlawn agency in Lubbock, TX. I am seeking as much information as possible about Smithlawn's practices, contacting information, birthmother information etc.
Kaela
Advertisements
[FONT=Arial Black]I am an adoptee that was adopted from Smithlawn. I was born December 19, 1977. :wings: I am in the process of searching for my birth mother. She was twenty years old when she gave me up for adoption.[/FONT][FONT=Arial Black][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Black] I wish you luck on your reunion with your daughter.[/FONT]
Hello all :) I know this is a very old thread, but I would like to offer my input. I was adopted in 1984 from Smithlawn and I have found my birth mom. No thanks to Smithlawn. I sent them money as did my biomom and was never contacted and every time I call I get no one. I had to find her on my own and cannot believe that I never heard back from them. My father just recently passed and unfortunately this is were donations were sent by friends and family. I have grown to learn a lot about the Church of Christ over the last 9 years since my husband is CoC. They are horrible, self-centered, manipulating people. I do not see why a agency that claims the name of CoC would be any different. I am sorry I am so bitter, I just believe in fairness especially with such a sensitive matter. I pray you all find the people that you are longing to know and just be ready for the unexpected, both good and bad.
Advertisements
Hi @lcamie - I am doing some investigative reporting about the COC and Smithlawn. I would love to chat and hear your story. Please reach out at kimrstark@gmail.com
Hi @lcamie - I am doing some investigative reporting about the COC and Smithlawn. I would love to chat and hear your story. Please reach out at kimrstark@gmail.com