My bmoms deatch certificate says.....

Ok well I looked again and it was spelled " Ethanol" if that makes a difference. And I really really do believe either way it was an accident. That is just all I can allow myself to believe for now. My older sister is not so sure of it though so I am not offended by the suicide coment. And the investigators ruled it an accident as did the death certificate. I just know the full description of how she was found and how the accident happened and just well I'm not so angry even though I really hate drunk drivers! But if it is alcohol on top of several meds and maybe it was just one drink then well I don't know. Again, I just always want to know everything and she's not here to ask and my sister was too young and I have not had contact with any of the older family members who knew her because none of us are ready to do that yet. Well really they don't all know about me being " back" yet........ Thanks for your help again. She really really was a good person. I hope that asking this doesn't make anyone think otherwise. She gave me up for great reasons and she was adopted at 6 years and abused real badley before that so she had a lot of problems that were out of her control. And the help back then was not neat what it is today. Wendy

Check out this website [url]http://www.ethanol.org/whatisethanol.html[/url] Ethanol has MANY uses, including consumption as well as fuel.

Thanks for the site....read it and do agree with the nurse that posted.....the kind that you drink. Wow though for all the help. Thank you thank you for being so kind! Wendy

Wendy -- I've read your thread. I am sorry you lost your mother and don't have answers. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for your loss. I think no less of your mother and hope you never do as well. While you don't know the whole story, you can at least have some answers. I hope that is better than not knowing at all. Take care of yourself.

You know I thought worse of her when I knew nothing at all. Knowing means the world to me. While I am so sorry that I never got to meet her and show her that I turned out ok I am so grateful that her other daughter has taken to me so well. We are so much alike and it's nice to have a relationship with some one who knew our mom. And I look just like my mom did too. Now that is way cool!! So I think this may be a good lesson. Like there can't be anything (for me anyway) worse then not knowing and the things I can make up in my own mind! Works for me anyway. Thanks again to everyone and my older sister has dealt with our mom being gone so I will not share the Ethanol site with her. She has already had her own closure, I'm still working on mine. Knowing that perfect strangers are here to help carry me through it has really lifted my spirits! Thanks!!

Just a possibility, I don't know what the "secondary" was referring to specifically, but could it be a possibility that there was a fuel leak in the vehicle? I mean, if a person dies in a house fire, isn't the usual cause of death the smoke not the fire? I'm sure it would be very hard to deal with, but I'm wondering if you could find photos of the accident and have a modern investigator take a look. I am coming up blank on the name of the people that do this, but there are folks who specialize in determining exactly what happened in auto accidents from skid marks to dents in the vehicle. Sorry to just open up a whole new line of questioning for you, I just couldn't let the possibility go unmentioned.

Secondary means that it did not cause the accident. I have seen the newspaper article on the accident. I guess it was in the paper because back then there were a lot of accidents at that location. I'm going with the maybe she had a drink. And seeing photos of her at that time or investigating it is not really an option for me right now as that is not the image I want to replay in my mind. I'm still working on falling asleep with out visualizing the accident and that is with the little info that I have. I can only imagine that for me I would not be able to deal with death photos. I need to do my bet to move on with the grieving process and continue to build on my new friendship with my sister. She has dealt with it for 30 years and understands my curiosity but for me I think I better do my best to let go of it. That is so much easier said then done! Someday I hope to let go of the sadness of not even getting to meet her just one time. Thanks for your ideas, they are great ones. Just not the route that would be healthy for me to take at this time although I will keep them in mind for the future.

i can't open up e-mails from aforms i go on internet favorties that's how i do ,if it said thread214439 or any thread how do i go about it? (((hugs)))) love, nana janeoh, when i get on myposts

When you come in go to the top and click on your user cp. From there you can "list threads" and that will put you to the threads you are a part of.

written in medical terms...etoh abuse....intoxication...ethanol....means the drinkable kind. It is used all the time. It is standard. With all that being said..it really doesn't make a difference does it...it means she mauy have had a few drinks and got in the car. It does not implyy suicide or anything else. Nugget .it happend in the days when drinking and driving was oh so normal....everyone did it. IMO..this is just a fact about your bmoms death...unfortuanly when all we have is the written word to put pieces together we can put things where they don't belong

Thanks for the "back then" since I do know it was so different then. We (my sister and I) went to a family reunion about 5 weeks ago. At the end of it some of the people who hung out were the ones who were our moms age. They told us "we always heard it was suicide" which is what we had thought as well.She had attempted or cried out suicide before that a few times. I'm not angry at this point about it, just sad. Sad that there were not the means to help her back then to deal with all she had to deal with. And that depression was not yet understood for what it is. So, she's still gone. But putting together part of the reason has helped in so many ways. Hugs Wendy

:) WHEN I WAS YOUNG I DRANK LIKE A FISH UNTIL I HAD A BREAKDOWN. DRINKING IS DEPRESSING& LEADS PEOPLE INTO TROUBLE! :mad: THANK YOU FOR THE IMFOR, LEAVING PUTER ON! LOVE YA, NANA ;)

:) :) :) :rolleyes: ;) ;) ;) YOUR THE GREATESS, I STILL HAVE DAISY& NUGGET PICTURE. ;) IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO LOOK AT THEM, THEY KEEP ME :) SMILING. SO WHAT MOMMA DRANK, WHO NOWS WHAT SHE WAS GOING THRU. WENDY, IT'S THE PAST,YOU LOVE HER,WHICH IS HER SPIRIT. I THINK YOU MAY THINK OFF THE WALL, BUT SHE'S HAS YOU IN HER HEART.&KNOWING WHAT YOUR GOING THRU!PRAYING YOU FIND PAPA,YOUR DADDY. ;) LOVE,NANA

wendy, i had 2 daughters that commited suicide, at frist i cried, then got angry.took 15 yrs to rethink my actions.when my sue died, i almost died in my heart & soul. my doctor ask me if i was going to answer NO!! he said that people do know what their doing & i should respect their wish.I WILL NEVER FORGET THEM, THEIR IN MY HEART AND SOUL. I DON'T ASK WHY,I HAVE 13 GRANDCHILDREN &5 SONS&DAUGHTRES-IN-LAWS IT HELPS BUT WHERES NOTHING LIKE A DAUGHTER. I WISH YOU PEACE.WENDY YOU HAVE BEEN SO KIND TO ME,I FEEL BLESS.LOVE, JANE

Thanks Nana. I know she is with me and she gives me a ton of my strength. Alsways has, I just didn't know it was her for a long time. :) Hugs, Wendy