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I have been doing a lot of reading, both these forums and family code, and still have many questions.
Here is our story: I married my wife 1.25 years ago and she had two daughters. We have been talking of adoption for quite awhile, since before our wedding was planned. The donor is a real piece of work. He has been in prison for drugs and there are many documents of abuse, even a restraining order that the juvenille judge threw out because the donor and my wife had to "get over it." The donor had said he will not give up rights to the girls and we are sure he won't.
The donor and my wife were never married. She and the donor have shared parental rights. She gets them during the school year, he gets them in the summer. She was forced into the custody agreement or the judge was going to take the children.
The donor owes quite a bit in back child support. Currently he is paying but that is because it is being automatically deducted from his paycheck. He has had no contact with them for over two years and the child support just started coming.
We just learned through a friend that he was just awarded full custody of one of his other daughters because the mother turned out to be a crackwhore (literally). He has been taking parenting classes, recently bought a house and has supposedly cleaned up his act. But we still haven't heard from him in over two years. We are pretty sure he will never come out here for the hearings.
My 10 year-old step-daughter vaguely remembers him, but remembers enough not to want to be with him and wants the adoption. My 7 year-old step-daughter has no memory of him. They both know me as dad.
I am currently in school getting my Bachelors Degree and working part time at a gov't job, 12 units/qtr & 20hrs/week. My wife is working fulltime and should be getting a better job soon.
Now, with the history out of the way, on to the questions.
1) I understand the family codes say you can file for abandonment after 1 year of no contact OR no support. Obviously the no contact has been meet. Has anybody been successful with this, one way or the other?
2) I read on a forum that you should be married for two years before adopting. Is this a requirement or a suggestion to show you can make a marriage work?
3) Which do we do first, the abandonment paperwork or the adoption paperwork?
4) Can we propose back childsupport to be forgiven if he consent to the termination of his rights? Or is that coersion
5) If/when the abandonment/adoption is final, is the back childsupport nullified?(Of course, this is if we don't/can't use childsupport for incentive to terminate rights) We do not want the money, but want to use it as a bargining tool to obtain pictures and childhood toys of the youngest that the donor still has in his posession. At least borrowing the pictures so we can make negatives from them. (Although putting a lean on his house might make my wife happy.)
6) When the court appointed social worker interviews us, is the fact that I'm in school and not working full time going to hurt us?
7) Is the fact he is has appearently changed his life around going to hurt us in the abandonment case?
8) The custody case is in Ohio. Do we have to file a change of venue to do the adoption out here or can we just start the adoption process out here. 9000(a) of Family Codes states: A stepparent desiring to adopt a child of the stepparent's spouse may for that purpose file a petition in the county in which the petitioner resides.
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Do you have copies of the convictions at all? This may be helpful in California.
To answer your questions:
1. Yes, it has and can be sucessful. I have used California Family code 8604. The beauty of this law is that the burden of proof is on the other parent. All you need to do is show that they have not had contact for a year, and /or not paid support. The other parent must prove to the court that claim is false. This is very hard to do when the social worker speaks with the children and asks them about the absent parent. They will interview them and their answers will be noted.
2.The social workers do like to see a track record. I believe you actually do have to be married a year but if you can prove conclusively to the powers that be your relationship is solid then thats what matters.
3.You do the paperwork at the same time. When the adoption paperwork is filed it will ask if the other parent has consented. If not have you filed a petition, so it is done altogether.
4. It could be considered as a bribe if it presented as "If you consent we won't come after you for support." If you state it as the fact of the matter, ie: You will no longer be responsible for support, the kids will have a stable, whole home, etc. This is just stating the facts. If you think you can get a consent this is how I would present it.
5.The other parent is responsible for all support up until the finalization of the adoption.
6. As long as you can support your children and provide the necessities, that what matters. They look for the best intrests of the children, not whether or not you've won the lotto.
7.This will only hurt if he's suddenly started visiting on a regular basis and is caught up on support. My suggestion would be to file now while the abandonment time frame has not been "broken" so to speak. This is just a suggestion.
8.If you are residents here and have been, you file here. The custody issue and adoption issue are two different courts anyway. File here.
I hope this helps! Good Luck!
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There will be a form available at the court for that. It's a summons form that goes on top of your petition. They should also give you a packet at the court clerks office that has instructions on what is needed in the petition. Your local law library has TONS of examples and information on writing a petition. It sounds harder than it is. If you have Word on your comp look under the legal pleadings templates. These will help when you writing your petition.
Good Luck!!
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