Asperger's Syndrome

Hygiene is a big issue, she isnt cleaning in the bathroom and I think a lot of it is that she is a very large girl and cant reach. I am only getting her in the bath every other day because its a pretty big project. I am wanting to talk to an orthodontist but I dont know if I can find one to take medicade. I know she is real young yet and cant get that hand motion down well enough to really do a good job at brushing. But her teeth are almost vertical in the front and it would be such a huge change to get that corrected. Like you said though, she isnt going to deal with any pain very well. I love what you said about "love for life". There is something so special about that total honesty and true love. You sound so well adjusted with your son, he is so lucky to have you. Cathie

Orthodontist problems, well we started braces for my son 3 weeks ago, and I tell you it's just now ending with the complaining (ha,ha), once I had the Ortho explain (in detail) why he needed to have his bite and teeth aligned he stopped complaining. Our other son that we are adopting needs braces badly, I have to jump through hoops to get the State to cover the balance that our private insurance will not cover. Do your homework, document everything, and submit letters from the pediatric dentist and orthodontist explaining the need for her teeth. Also, contact her guardian ad lidem (attorney), caseworker and adoption worker, get everyone on the same page first, sometimes they need to be the additional voices of reason to medicaide. As far as brushing and bathing goes, get a timer and set it and tell her that when the timer goes off she can get out of the tub, finish brushing, etc. Use a step stool in front of the sink, and let her use warm water to brush with, extreme temps will discourage hygiene. Small modifications for big rewards!!!! Tina

O nline A sperger S yndrome I nformation & S upport "What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well." -- Antoine-Marie-Roger de Saint-Exupery THE OASIS GUIDE IS NOW AVAILABLE Click Here to read REVIEWS of The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome *************************** DECEMBER 7, 2004 THE JANE PAULEY SHOW WILL RE-AIR THEIR SEGMENT ON ASPERGER SYNDROME. PLEASE CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS OR VISIT THEIR WEB SITE FOR MORE INFORMATION. (Set your VCR because they will not have copies available for sale) [HOME to OASIS] [BOOKSTORE] [IMPORTANT NEWS] [MESSAGE BOARDS] Welcome to O.A.S.I.S. As parents of children who are diagnosed with AS, we understand how essential is it that families of children diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and related disorders, educators who teach children with AS, professionals working with individuals diagnosed with AS, and individuals with AS who are seeking support, have access to information. Although recently reminded that there is no oasis or paradise for those with Asperger Syndrome, we sincerely hope that they, along with parents and professionals, will find a bit of shade and support via the information presented and links available at this site. We are very grateful to the many professionals, parents, and persons with AS and HFA who have made contributions. We would also like to acknowledge the University of Delaware for their generous donation of web space. Barb Kirby and Patty Romanowski Bashe, MS.Ed. DISCLAIMER: O.A.S.I.S. is designed for educational purposes only. The contents of this website are not medical, legal, technical or therapeutic advice and must not be construed as such. The information contained herein is not intended to substitute for informed professional diagnosis, advice or therapy. Visitors should not use this information to diagnose or treat Asperger Syndrome or Related Disorders without also consulting a qualified medical or educational professional. This resource is maintained by Barb Kirby and has been made possible by a generous grant of space and assistance by the University of Delaware. The O.A.S.I.S. Web Page and all O.A.S.I.S. links from the main page and formatting of those links ([url]http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/[/url]) are Barbara L. Kirby For permission to reprint, please contact bkirby@udel.edu Home to O.A.S.I.S. University of Delaware Home Page

Hey Tina I was wondering if you can look back to when your son was a baby and see any sign of the Aspergers? We have just finalized the adoption of our daughter, 7 months old and her bfather has Asperger's. I know you can't tell until they are older but of course I am constantly watching and worring. She just seems to be on the same track as my two bio sons were at this age. I know I shouldn't worry so much but I want to be on top of things. I can tell what a great mom you are just by the things you say, your son is so lucky to have you!

He started real talking at 6 months of age. He didn't crawl. He didn't start walking until the age of 14 months. He made up his own language ie: At age 11 months when my husband had "stubble" on his face, "You have cactus face". He saw telephone/electricity poles and called them, "Electric Trees". Until the age of 3, you will think wow what an amazing child!!! After that, you will notice that the signs are coming through for an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Lack of eye contact, only wants to be held when they want it, high tolerance for pain (will not complain, so watch for this), starts to play with and wants to know about one certain object and nothing else. My husband has Asperger's tendancies, he's a very successful Computer Programmer, a wonderful daddy, very honest (I have to be the "mother lion" with him also, as people have always taken advantage of him), and a just all around good guy. Don't worry if she brings in some of her BF's genes in with her, just educate yourself and be prepared for the wonderful journey, if and when you need to be packed for the trip to "Wonderland". :)

Thanks Tina I will be sure to watch for these things. So far she shows none of these signs although I know as with anything else, they are all different. We are ready if the need be to deal with anything that arises because she is our child! Merry Christmas

Oh how I enjoyed reading this thread. Our older son amazed adults by reading before he was two and memorizes all kinds of "interesting" :rolleyes: material, and then recites it ad nauseum. We were fortunate when he reached 1st grade, in that his teacher had a college aged son with AS, and she really enlightened us. Our son too uses the term alien, and he and we discuss his life in "****land," or "the planet ****", his own little world where he is always comfortable. The girls at school just love him and watch out for him constantly, and we have thus far been thrilled that he has not been picked on. Next year is middle school, and that is the toughest time for all children. We thought our son was a bit peculiar, but then we met a child who really has AS, and that was a real eye opener. Wow! We now consider our son to just be a bit "eccentric!" :rolleyes: As stated about others have stated about their children, ours is just the sweetest, most kind child I have ever met. He loves to teach younger children, but doesn't do as well with kids his own age, as he just doesn't understand the social cues. He gravitates to the "world of misfit toys," as he calls it, where all the children are "special," in their own special way. Sports are most definitely not his forte, but when you score in the top percentile on the statewide exams, I guess that doesn't really matter much, does it? There is always plenty to be proud of with these children. I once read an article on AS that described it as the "geek syndrome," and mentioned how prevalent it is in "Silicone Valley," because these individuals are your classic pocket-protector types that can stay focused on intense jobs like computer programming and de-bugging. The article implied that Bill Gates was the head geek, but I've never read anything authoritative that he has AS. There is hope, the article stated, just get them through middle school and most will come into their own in high school, where their knowledge and special talents are more appreciated by their college bound peers. We still have hope that someday we will have the house to ourselves again. Best wishes to all for a safe and happy new year.

Over the holidays we spent 3 days up at the ski resort trekking slowly up the hill, toting snowboards, backpacks, snacks: I couldnt have imagined that this 8yr old, overweight, very uncordinated girl could ever learn to balence on a snowboard long enough to even get a start. We kept telling her that she really didnt know how to do it, she was sure she did. We survived many break downs and frustrations but by the end of the day, she had everyone on the bunny slope so proud of her. I have never in my life seen such determination, when I was ready to stop, she would be taking off her bindings and starting the slow hike back up the hill again. My inpatient words would break her heart and my thrilling yells got her so excited she would have lifted off the ground with pride. By the end of the day she could make it all the way down with only 1 or 2 crashes, at the bottom her yelling with excitment would get everyone around her to smile. For all of you that have had these experiences know how amazed I am. This homeless child has changed my families life forever. This summer I have to go to leave the state and cant take her, its going to be one of the hardest things in my life to leave her to go into another foster home. This little angel has taught me so much, life sure hasnt been fair to her. Grateful in Colorado, Cathie

FostermomCathie

I have an 8yr old girl foster child with aspergers. I am finally after 6 months getting to where I can sense when something unappropriate is going to come out of her mouth in public but yikes!!! She is such a joy but she can be so frustrating also. ...snipped for brevity.. Is this social bluntness problem correctable? I cant hardly stand to watch the reaction of another old lady being asked when she is going to die......or fear for our lives when she asks a black person "when are they going back to Africa"? foster mom Cathie

Had a hardy laugh...Our foster to adopt DD is also 8 yo. We have had a great deal of difficulty teaching her to wear her pants properly (partial upbringing, partially tactile) and NOT hanging below her belly "like a plumber".

In line at the grocery store this weekend she turned to my DH and said, "That man in front of us must be a plumber!" and no it was not because he was carrying a plunger....

Okay, where did everybody go? Suggestions on summer activities??? Our dd is going to science camp for three weeks (NOT consecutive) this summer... Are your Aspie kids water rats too?

Wow reading all these posts I have found my bio son's twins! LOL. He too was talking early, read at age 2, and seemed brilliant for a while till we started having trouble in school in second grade. He can see a movie once and recite all the dialog, never shows emotion, he is now at 13 learing body language, and has now memorized most figures of speach so he can translate them, since they are like a foreign language to him. He is even getting sarcasm now, a huge thing for him. However we have had a school tell us he couldn't have aspergers (even though he has the diagnosis from a specialist and from his doctor!!!) because he didn't have a violent temper. If only they knew how hard we had worked on that temper! Anyway nice to "meet" all of you.

Wow Lorraine-- I have some opposite problems...school is okay because dh is a special ed teacher :cheer: BUT still a daily struggle with separating sarcasim from reality. Also struggling with her using food for comfort. Dh is continually "giving in" <<sigh>>.

My son also had some sensory issues, which means food is not a comfort for him. Getting him to eat more than two kids is a struggle, but at 13, he is doing very well. He had to figure out sarcasm as a survival tool, my dh's family, whom we are very close to and spend a lot of time with are very, very sarcastic. So he has had to learn it, but it's been a long road. He is very smart, so he knew that the things people were saying were not making sense or were things I had told him were not nice to say, but he could not figure out for years, why they were saying such things. Now he finally has it, he will occasionally ask us if we are being sarcastic, but has found it not good to ask his friends, he and his brother have little signals and his brother (19 months younger) helps him a lot, but he has gotten good at analyzing it to figure it out. Sometimes listening to him it's almost like listening to an alien who is studying human behavior. He finds it fascinating and confusing.

I have to agree with your son.

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