Hi from panama

Thanks so much for posting Tanya. Are you able to have your son with you or is your son not in Panama City? Did the Director of the DNA see any problem with match your dossier with your son? We are all collectively holding our breaths for you! You are in my thoughts, Julie

That is so exciting. You said sons. Does that mean there are 2 boys you have received referrals on? The last time I had heard, there was one little boy around 2 years old. We will definitely keep you and your family in our prayers. It would be great if you can get it all done while you are there. Will you be leaving Panama City on Wednesday to travel to pick-up your sons? I thought the one little boy was in another area. Let us know how things are going down there. Also give us your impression of how things are moving (fast/slow). Great news and we are so glad that you are in Panama. Take lots of pictures and keep a journal. You might think it is something you will never forget, but with time, you won't remember everything. God Bless! Lauri

HI I tried to post last night but had some computer trouble. We are currently waiting to see if the DNA will make the match or not. We are only trying to adopt one three year old boy (I have no idea why I put sons:) We are very worried and frightened by what we have been told about the circumstances here right now. We have decided NOT to meet our little guy yet, which I have to add is the HARDEST thing we have ever done. We are only waiting to see what happens with the referral. Our son is three and we feel it would be unfair to him to have him meet us and stay with us than put him back in the orphanage and never see him again. We have been explained the process by the DNA director and I will explain it to you the best I can. By Panamanian law a child must first have TPR complete than matched for a referral witht a dossier, this step is all done by the DNA. Now how agencies are suppose to do this is after TPR of a child there file is in the DNA, as is families dossiers, when the DNA has a child they feel is a match they contact the agencies attorney and see if the family is interested, if the family is interested than the match is made and an official referral will be made. This is what the director told us, he seems upset that we traveled without the referral from the DNA (not upset with us, he actually apologized, but this did NOT guarantee us the referral) The rest is what info. I have gotten since I've been here. Once referral is made a custody court date is set, now certain judges will say the family doen't have to be present, even if the child is older, most panama city judges actually, but other judges may request the family to be present. Once the court is done your agency attorney does all the foot work for papers and get all your stuff ready for the embassy. Once all the paperwork is complete and all you have left is the embassy stuff you will travel, this leaves families in country for two weeks or less. A huge piece of this puzzle is a referral must come from the DNA!!!!! We had been told in Jan. that we had a "referral" and could travel in April, well as you all know we did not travel. Than we found out we could travel Sept 23 for an Oct. 1 court date, probably two or three days before we left we found out we do not have a referral from the DNA, BUT our agency assured us the match would be made and we could do all of the process but the embassy in two weeks. Well we get here and Sept 24 rolls around we get called into the DNA office and find out all the entire process and the DNA appears upset with the process we had been told, than we find out we have to wait till wed. to know if yes we get a child or no we dont!!!!! I am so sorry, but we just feel hurt, so very hurt and so afraid to trust anyone at this moment, remember this is our second time around with this. To think we may loose a second referral. We are scared, but we keep praying to God this all works out, and for Faith to let this be in God's hands. There are a few more options we are checking out at this moment and as soon as I know what we are doing I will let you know. This is an adoption, and we feel instead of a joyous journey or even a slight roller coaster it has been way to wild of a ride for us and we can not emotionally handle this anymore. We will do whatever we have to do to get our son. We feel that their are people here that truly want to see adoptions work and the process followed according to the law for the children and the families. We just hope and pray we fall into this too:) Ok I have rambled on and on, just tired and emotionally drained today. Thoughts and Prayers, Tanya

Oh Tanya, I am so very sorry...I don't even know what to say except you are in my thoughts. I hope so much this all works out for you. What is your agency saying about all of this? Julie

Tanya, Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing all the information. We are in a similar position with our referral as the TPR is not officially in the hands of the DNA, and we do not have the official referral. So I know the feelings that you are having with it being too much emotionally. Hang in there. We were told by DNA that the TPR had to be done also before a referral was considered official; however, in March, they gave us temporary custody of our son and explained that we were only waiting for paperwork to make it official (under the old DNA administration). We were told that because of the number of children in orphanages, TPRs were not pursued on all children unless the child was brought to the attention of the DNA by someone(an attorney). So it is basically a catch-22 on getting the TPRs done so a referral can be made. The process sounds like a simple process to have TPR done and then make referral; however, it is anything but simple from where we sit. Why will you know on Wednesday? Will they officially have the TPR or is the TPR already complete for your son and they are evaluating you as a match? Please let us know if there is anything that we can do to help.

We were told by the director that he needed to reveiw our file and the childs, but because the process was not completed occording to protocal (this is how we took it) they needed to review it further. What our agency is saying is that they feel we will get the referral, but they can NOT say forsure if it will happen. We are very upset right now and I can not tell you how betrayed we feel. We feel we have been misled and the realistic truth slapped us in the face the day we walked into the DNA office. The time we have been here we have been working very very hard to understand the adoption process and have been given information that we feel we must follow. As I said before, our family comes first and we will do whatever we can to TRY and get our son. I am hoping tomarrow we will have more information. The process sounds complicated but the more I have read it and heard it there really shouldn't be the problems there are if followed. According to the set law, the 18th law of May 2 2001 the process is spelled out, I am waiting to get this all spelled out in english for easier reading:) But the process stands as I had posted earlier. Children can have TPR started before a family is notified of the child as a matter of fact a family should NOT be notified of a child till after the TPR than the DNA sees the family file and the child's file and asks the attorney if the family is interested. If the family says yes than the official referral is given, it is that simple. In our case it is not, and that is what is so frustrating, because we should NOT be here in this position. I feel so thankful to have all your support, I am hoping I will get more answers to pass on to you. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, Tanya

Tanya, are you coming up on your year anniversary of all of this? I always tell the kids that "life is not fair" get used to it early and you won't get your feelings hurt when you figure it out. But this is too much! I know nothing will make you feel better right now, but you can look back later at our posts and know how many people are thinking of you and praying for you. You can't see it now, but everything happens for a reason, I just can't see what it is for you right now, but someday it will be clear. When your baby is a teenager there WILL be days that you wonder what you could have been thinking in even wanting a child, and then just like now, you get through it, and look back and it will all be ok and worth it. I just hope you know it will happen someday and we all hope and pray that it is now, but I know your resolve will return after all the frustration, and it will happen. Please absorb all the beauty of the country around you (not just the frustration of the situation) because you will need it all to share with your child someday. Good Luck! Leslie

Just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts today as you wait out the decision. We are praying that DNA does the match quickly. (If the TPR has been complete on this child, why has a match not already been made? - Just a retorical question for Panama) Is your court date still set for Friday? It is strange that you would get a court date without the match taking place. Sorry for all the questions. I know that right now you are concentrating on your family! Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you.

We're all thinking of you and sending you a big e-hug!!! :) Rebecca

hey tanya-- how are things going?? I have tried to send you some pm's but your mailbox is full. I can only imagine your frustration, but your seem very dedicated and determined. You know, some people do travel to see their children while they are waiting on this ridiculous process. Maybe you can get the referral on this trip, return for the process to start and then you will have a better understanding first hand on what is going on with your case.While we were there at the embassy another mother was adopting 2 young girls, she traveled a couple of times to see them over the course of 6 months. I am sure that was hard on her, but she stayed engaged in the process and said she was really glad she was able to do that. THat was not really an option for us, once we had the referral we traveled in a few months and my attorney worked directly with a judge. I understand some things are changing in the DNA-- it is GREAT you have met with him personally. It seems that direct contact with these folks is MUCH more effective!! So even though you are so upset--you may be doing some good just by your presence, even though this is not going as planned. Hang in there!! If it looks like this TPR is not going to be contested by a family member,and may run pretty smooth- you really may be on your way-- just at a crawl from where you are right now. My heart aches for you, waiting like you are- but what an incredible thing you are doing right now!! keep us up to speed! yh-- where is your little one??