Adoptee becoming an Adoptive Parent

Hi - I was adopted at 14 days from Catholic Charities in Indianapolis, found my bio mother & family a long time ago (and have a great relationship to this day), AND adopted a baby girl from Guatemala. I also agree that open adoption would be best but that wasn't a clear option when I was beginning the adoption process. I'm single and it's unlikely I'd have been chosen by a potential birth mother so I selected Guatemala. My daughter was 3 months when I brought her home. You can learn much about Guatemalan adoptions through the Guatemalan forum on this site. Also, guatadopt.com has a very detailed explanation of the process. There is a listserve called 'the big list' (directions for joining are on guatadopt). I know that there are quite a few a-parents in the US who varying levels of contact with biomothers/families in Guatemala. I am going to do my best to be sure my daughter is bilingual. I also have a photo album and am getting ready to send letters/pictures to my daughter's first mother. Best wishes - let me know if you have any more questions...

Elizabeth - It was so great to hear from you! Thank you for replying! I now live in IN, myself. You are the third person I have heard of who has adopted a baby from Guatemala as a single parent. That gives me hope because I have a disease (multiple sclerosis) - even though no one can tell just by looking at me. Will they be open to giving me a child even though I have MS? I am married, too, and my husband is healthy. (I really am fine - not on any meds, no noticable symptoms.) MS is the reason why I didn't think domestic adoption would work for us. I think it would scare off people who don't understand it. I have a r'ship with both my birthmother and my birthfather. I agree with you about teaching your child to be bilingual. I also would keep any name given to the child we end up adopting (even if it ends up being a middle name). Did you keep your baby's name? I did go to a site called, guatadopt.com. My mom printed a ton of info for us from that site. Very helpful! We are using a placing agency from Miami. Which agency did you use? Can you please tell me more about adopting your daughter - the step-by-step process? When you went to get her and how long you stayed in Guatemala? Any contact with a birthmother? I am very curious and want to be informed. Thanks so much! KD

Hi KD - Before you make a final decision on an agency, you should go to the Guat board here (there is a thread about agency feedback that you should read). You should also join the Big List and ask for feedback about the agency you're considering. If there is one thing that can make or break this process, it's the agency **and** the Guatemalan attorney they work with. An agency might be teriffic with eastern European adoptions, but terrible or new with Guatemalan adoptions. It can mean the difference between the child coming home around 6 mos (or younger in some cases) or much older. I can't answer your questions about MS. I do know that there is a woman named Becky on the Guat forum who is --very-- knowledgeable about the requirements. Also, people on the Big List would also be able to answer this Yes, I kept the name given to my daughter by her first mother. I figured I had the choice of explaining to a 12 year old why I'd taken away the only concrete thing her first mother had given her, or explaining to Americans how to pronounce it! (I chose the easier path). And if you're curious, the pronunciation is see-oh-MAHDA (or see-oh-MARA if I'm dealing with a resistant individual ;) The -r- in Spanish is pronounced like the tt in butter. Anyway! I flew to Guatemala City with my sister. We arrived late on a Saturday evening and went straight to the hotel. The Marriott was incredible! I called the atty that night and she said she'd bring the foster mom & baby to the hotel at 9 a.m. Ack! Although I was anxious, I was very tired - we had to quickly assemble gift bags - I brought gifts for the foster mom and her children & grandchildren who lived with her, as well as the atty. Sure enough, 9 a.m., they came to the hotel lobby - I'll never forget seeing Xio and holding her for the first time. My sister took the first picture of the trip and captured that moment. We had all day Sunday at the Marriott. We rented a stroller and walked to a small market to get supplies. What an experience. I ordered a coke-in-the bottle from a street vendor. He opened the coke and poured it into a clear plastic bag. I was too stunned to stop him. Coke-in-the-bag is not so satisfying ;). We took a shuttle later in the day and went to a nearby open door gift/craft market where I did lots of shopping. Monday was US Embassy Day - I was so nervous I don't even remember the questions I was asked by the officer. It didn't seem 'real' until after we left the Embassy. Actually, that was just one of the earlier 'real' installments - we had a long way to go before it was 'really real' for me. Monday afternoon/eve we just stayed at the Marriott and spoke with people we'd met. My sister wanted to go to Antigua so we arranged a driver. What an experience. I'll never forget the sights - none of which I documented with a camera. I felt too awkward carrying a baby (who pretty obviously wasn't my bio child) and taking pictures. Instead, I had a woman show me how to use the Guatemalan baby wrap I purchased from her. People were so kind and helpful (and I spoke no Spanish except the very basics.) I am so glad we managed to get away from the hotel and see some of the country, even if only for a brief period. Parts of the excursion were very idyllic, other parts were very disturbing b/c of the poverty we saw. We flew to Miami the next day - I stayed to visit my parents in South Florida for a few days before returning to Wisconsin. We arrived in Miami about noon and sailed through customs and immigration. I didn't have much of an appetite. By the next morning, I was quite ill with v&d - by the next evening I was in the hospital with a 104 fever & the stomach problems. I guess I brought a bit too much Guatemala home with me. I tried to be careful about what I ate but honestly, everything was so wonderfully prepared that I didn't expect to get ill. I believe it was the fish I'd had the night before I left. My sister drank coffee by the gallons and never got sick. About the only thing she didn't try was the fish. Anyway! My parents had to take care of the munchkin for those early days because I wasn't allowed. We flew back to Wisconsin exactly one week after I'd left. It was an amazing trip, and an amazing experience. The paperwork is daunting but manageable in small increments. The travel was the experience of a lifetime - I can't wait 'til Xio is old enough & we can return.

Hi, Elizabeth, All day I have been saying your daughter's name in my mind. She really is a beautiful little girl! You are a lucky mommy! Please tell me step-by-step how to find the Guat board on here (I think I found it, but wasn't sure it was the same place you were talking about) and how to find info on attorneys. I know my way around infertility websites, but I am still finding my way here! The agency we found in Miami is from a referral from two friends of my Mother's who both were single moms and adopted babies from Guatemala. They received their babies when they were 4 mos old. And they said that everything went surprisingly smoothly. We are having an IL agency do the homestudy for us. Please give me any homestudy tips! KD _____________ Adoptee reunited with b'mother in 1993, b'father in 1998 Starting adoption process of my own - 2004