The Basic Principals..AW

Dear Jackie, How Neat! It will be good to have $$$$ coming in from your work. I keep a separate account but it often gets funneled into the household expenses. That area sounds wonderful. When I taught High School art, my partner was a successful watercolour painter. He would take photos, shoot sceanery, with his video camera, show them on his TV, stop the action where he wanted & paint from that. He loved it. Bigger viewing screen, zoom feature, etc. Got to use the technology. I'd love to have a digital camera too. I hope we both get one!:) Good night!

HI Jackie and LL Sorry I've been gone so long.... shoulder, Michigan trip, family in from out of town for a whole week. Tgiving.... it all added up to me not being here - or doing my morning pages. I hope to get back on track SOON! Reading what you have written Jackie - is most inspiring... wow. I could feel your yearning... and the hope that comes with having things happen to open the door to OPPORTUNITY.... very exciting stuff. LL.... where do you live? Is it winter there? Maybe while you are caught indoors you could tackle that closet. I bet getting it organized and straightened out would help you mentally feel excited and energized about your art again..... Just a thought. Have to run - horses are calling. Just wanted to let you know I was alive - and motivated by what you both said.....

Decision has been made :) we are selling the house.. Hubby just got back from his doctors appointment.. All is well.. Blood pressure is good.. We are good to go.. I am packing up tomorrow morning and we will be driving to the country.. The cat is a horrible traveler.. He yells the whole way.. Lynda.. Thanks for telling me about the landscape painting.. Cameron got me into driving in the country and looking at the beautiful sites.. I never thought of painting them.. I did not connect it.. I have a feeling I will do some good paintings.. I think of that Klimpt in Boston.. The life in that tree.. I remember (when I was in Vancouver) reading what Emily Carr had written.. (it was in the art gallery) She wrote.. "I need to give the painting more life.. I have to put more into it." Christi.. Do you know there is a Right to Write Cameron book.. I once belonged to an email group run by a woman who did that book.. There was some amazing things in it.. If you ever want to do it I would like to read it along with you.. Also I wanted to ask about horses.. How many do you have? What are they like? I love horses.. I have a hard time moving from the city to the country.. The animals in the country have to live hard sometimes.. Some of them have to suffer.. Heck our cat ate a baby rabbit once.. We have to deal with cornered mice who are terrified.. How do you do it? Do you have to deal with that kind of thing? Am I nuts :) Jackie

Jackie & Christi.... Hello! Good to hear from both of you. Jackie, I'm with you with the animals, you're not nuts, or I am too!:) Our 2nd. cat brings us "gifts" like dead mice, moles & the occasional bird & I hate it. I understand that he's thanking us for his cushy life, but does he have to KILL for us? Glad you're going... it sounds like a positive move. Good that your Hubby's app. went well too. Where is that, North of your area? Christi, I'm in Nova Scotia & it's been pouring rain here lately. I talked to my son in Cape Cod last night & he told me this was coming our way! Neat way to get the weather forecast. Today was 51F (10C) That's really warm as yesterday the puddles were frozen & they will be again tomorrow! I've been really busy & this week is a write-off. Even Friday! I have to go to the country where a house I rent is located. The tennants are leaving & I need to winterize & board it up. I'll be amazed if I can paint this week. I did get all the week 5 tasks done last night & wrote a lot. Tonight I hope to at least read week 6. I really don't want to quit, but Christmas holidays are a hard time to carve out personal time. It must be nice to work with your horses. I looked after 2 one winter & found it overwhelming. I had no experience with them & they knew it! What happened when you went for the MRI? Can your shoulder be helped?

Hi guys.... been swamped at the office - and with xmas prep. But.. to answer some questions. I live in Florida, on 5 acres with 5 horses, a dog and 2 cats (1 inside and 1 outside). The horses are a mixed bag - some paints, some thoroughbreds, some mixed. They were bred to be "eventors", but I haven't competed since 1999.. maybe in 2005... we can hope. We are looking at 40 acres now in north florida for "retirement". Hopefully that means in something like 5 years. Don't hold your breath. As for wild animals living hard. My philosophy is I take care of all that I can, show mercy for those that are trapped (release or save them), injured (doctor them) or maimed (end their lives as kindly as possible if they can't be nursed) and remember that nature is God's business, not mine. I feed wild animals when it is prudent to do so - away from buildings and the barn - it is important to remember that wild animals CAN carry disease and my health and the health of my domestic animals should not be put at risk unnecessarily. I protect my animals the best I can - which means the horses are well cared for and vaccinated, have sheets, blankets and hot meals when it is cold... he he.. (for us that means below 60 F).... the barn cat has a plug in "heated" kitty bed. The inside cat is queen. The dog is a member of the family except she isn't allowed on the furniture! ;) Jackie - I have the Right to Write on audio, but not in print. Actually that kept me company last weekend as I mowed. As for my shoulder. The MRI showed no tear (whew)... but the socket was somewhat "shifted" and the ligament that holds my arm in it stretched when I was hurt. We are trying dugs now and some physical therapy. It is much better than when it first got hurt and I assume time will do its job if I am not stupid. We can all pray and try to keep me from thinking I am more capable than my body is! :rolleyes: Overall, life is good... and I love the community on this forum. Thanks for allowing me to be part of your worlds.

ChristiBender wrote..My philosophy is I take care of all that I can, show mercy for those that are trapped (release or save them), injured (doctor them) or maimed (end their lives as kindly as possible if they can't be nursed) and remember that nature is God's business, not mine. That is exactly what I needed to hear.. There is a horse near here that I worry about constantly.. Hubby has to drive a different way into town because I can not drive past it.. I call it the lonely horse.. It is out all winter.. It is obviously a hobby horse as there is no barn.. Or no barn that is visible.. It is out in all weather and I am in Canada.. Lynda I am in Prince Edward County.. Its the (almost island) in Lake Ontario.. Near Kingston.. We made it out here but we had to get a wood fire stove in.. We can not afford to heat the place by electricity.. We got it installed in one evening.. whew.. The guy who installs them.. (a master installer for insurance purposes :)) was going on vacation so it was now or never.. We love it.. There is something primitive with heating with wood.. Hubby is learning how to actually burn wood in the most economical ways.. I want to paint as well.. I look at the upstairs studio and it is full of junk.. We have so much junk.. I don't know what we will do with all this junk.. Jackie.. who wants to extend an invite to anyone reading this thread.. Please jump in and talk.. :)

Hi Jackie, Good to hear that you're alive & well & cozy by the wood stove. I have heated by wood before. It is very nice but work intensive. The year we did it on a serious basis, D/D #3 was an infant & she had 2 sisters who were 5 & 6. I felt like I had two babies & one lived in the basement!:) we still use a fireplace, but just for evening warmth. It's the expensive fossil fuel for us. This is a big house & I have tons of junk too. I always have plans to clear it out. Someday.....

Hubby seems to have taken over the zen of the firewood.. He just put an all nighter log on .. Its supposed to be a night burn.. LOL Whatever that is.. Ha ha.. He's gone to bed.. I guess becasue he is exhausted from all that carrying the logs to the fire.. Oh well.. Will post when I get back.. I have to go to Burlington which is on the other end of the lake.. Dad is having a Christmas dinner at the home and I want to be there.. Jackie

Hi, Those all night logs work when you close down the damper. Then they burn more slowly as there's less oxygen. It's great as you just have to stoke it up in the morning & throw in another log. You don't have to set the fire new, it just takes off. How did you & your Dad make out while your sister was away? I'm glad you can get to go to his dinner today. It snowed overnight, not too much but it's very cold out there. The weather north of here is blizzard conditions. I'm SO glad my brother & I went there on Friday to close up my house. He's still there & I'll have to pick him up later in the week. Maybe the snow will melt by then. I can hope, can't I? :) Off to do my morning pages & the check-ins I should have done yesterday.

The dinner went well.. It was interesting.. At the dinner I told my dad that I intended to sell my paintings.. Or do paintings to sell... He loved it when I was a commercial artist.. But what he said.. was... "I'll believe it when I see it.." Condemnation.. I wonder if this has happened to me all my life.. I wonder if this is the root of the block.. Its like I must prove to him now.. Prove to him.. He takes the power.. Jackie

Dear Jackie, Parents don't realize the hurt they inflict with words like those. When I was 18 & trying to leave home, my Dad said,"You're not going anywhere! I checked your bank acc. & you only have $40.00!" Well, those were fighting words to me. Like you, I figured I'd show him! In 1965, you could borrow twice the amount you had in the bank. I borrowed & left for Boston with $80.00 in my pocket. Going nowhere, was I? I showed him! You can choose to accept that criticism or not. He's making a judgement on his perception of you & your work. He doesn't know how valuable your work is or what a market exists in the tourist industry. I'd advise you to simply smile at his remarks & go about your life, you're busy! You have to move & set up a studio & "get something down" as Julia Cameron says! Then we'll see, won't we??:) Wern't you nice to join him for dinner?

Jackie You do your art for you - and for us - and for all the people who WANT it. There are people out there who will feel it - who will seek it out - who will share it with others. Your father doesn't have to be a part of it. He has no power except that which you give him. You heard him.... and now it is time for "thanks for sharing Dad"... and on about your business. You love your art. That is what you need to focus on. Let it flow through you. You have talent - you KNOW that. Don't let his brief comment fan any flames of self doubt... just "thank you for sharing"... acknowledge that he is the embodiment of your "critic" and write your morning pages. You have been making wonderful progress.... I know you have it in you - I can't wait to SEE it manifest itself for the world.

Thank you.. both of you.. I think of the chapter in the AW where she talks about the ones who sabotage the lives of others.. Do it through negative control. I feel I have to prove myself to my dad.. Even now when he is so far gone and so darn needy.. My sister immediately said (at the dinner) "Jackie you do not have to earn money with your art." "You need to do it because you love it." She grew up with the very same parents.. Lynda.. I took off to Boston with two hundred dollars in my pocket.. :) I stayed at the YWCA in downtown Boston... It was on the other side of the Commons (worked at Jordan Marsh.. Girl from Ipanema was the song of the day).. It was near the Boston Library.. Isn't it interesting that you and I did the very same thing.. We were wanting to break free from all the stuff that was our lives and bam we ran into a brick wall.. But we produced great babies.. :) I am going to think seriously about cleaning out the studio (I will read the chapter on cleaning up).. It is just jammed right now.. I am thinking of starting my morning pages and starting the VOG.. That is really where I left off.. I did the AW and started the VOG.. I am going to disregard what work I had done on it before and start fresh.. I am going to write down my life in five year increments.. but I am going to pay special attention to my fathers insanity.. Or lack there of.. My dad was always critical.. I hated it when he came to visit my home.. I knew he was checking the house work.. I knew he was making fun of me.. What gets me is he thinks or thought that this was the best way to make me improve.. The little kid in me is still angry with him.. I want to kick him in the shins.. But as you both said.. Don't listen to him.. But its the triggers.. Its the memories.. Its the me taking his critiques and burying them.. What a failure I was when I got pregnant.. I totally failed.. I was a bad girl.. I was not the perfect daughter.. Thanks for listening.. I forgave my mom.. I spoke at her funeral.. I said thank you for your gifts.. Now I think I need to forgive my dad.. Jackie

Jackie First a question... what is VOG? Next... I have got to get you the Katie tapes. If you go through her process it will help you with the forgiveness. I swear. It might not get you all the way there - but it will get you started.... and sometimes it is the starting that gets us stuck! ;) I had a lot of issues with my dad too - for 39 years. I was always "a miserable person" or "never going to amount to anything" or "costing me too much". He was always drunk (at least in my mind) and abusive (definately, too often in reality). I did Katie's work and it moved mountains. I think it broke me free from about 80% of the "stuff" that had held me to the past - to the broken records and tapes in my head of his put downs and accusations. Amazing.... and to say liberating would be a huge understatement.... I will try to get them out to you this week. When you catch yourself playing HIS negative tapes in your head (or to your face) make sure that you play a positive one (from us, from your sister, from your friends, from your hubby, from the little soul inside you that KNOWS you are good and talented). You CAN train yourself to repeat the good... just like you trained yourself to repeat the bad. It is a matter of practice. So... even without seeing a single piece of your art I know it is wonderful... I know it because you love it - it comes through you - and art that comes THROUGH a person always has a resonance that can be not only seen but felt. Love it - do it - let it flow -

ChristiBender wrote..First a question... what is VOG? Its a book called 'Vein of Gold'. I think its Julia Cameron's next step after 'Artist Way'. She has a person explore more of themselves..:) In the daily exercises she adds another thing to do.. She wants a person to commit to walking twenty minutes a day. I keep trying to get to that place.. Get into that habit. After my life stops being crazy I will post more about it.. If you go through her process it will help you with the forgiveness. I swear. I would love to try it.. We can post here about it. make sure that you play a positive one (from us, from your sister, from your friends, from your hubby, from the little soul inside you that KNOWS you are good and talented). That is very hard for me at times.. I think I have triggers.. Negative triggers.. I meet someone at a store and they accidently say the wrong thing and I am gone.. Negative thinking all the way.. Its almost like it is the comfortable thing to do.. I am happiest when I don't have to deal with people in a real time situation.. On the internet I can argue or whatever all day if I allow myself. Real time and I cave. So... even without seeing a single piece of your art I know it is wonderful... I did everything I could to destroy my love of doing art.. I started working as a commercial artist at seventeen.. I would take my art to the art director and he would tear it to shreds.. He would say awful things to me.. Then I would take it to the art buyer and get more critiques.. I can remember hiding in the washroom and crying.. I would get sick to my stomach when I went to work.. I had a good day today.. I was able to work for more than four hours.. I know I can do this.. I know I can do paintings and offer them up for sale.. Make money from them.. Not hate it.. Not hate that my art time was worth 'x' amount of dollars per hour. We have to sell the house in Toronto.. I have to pack it up and paint the walls.. I am glad I am doing this at 62 and not 65. I am glad I started this thread. Jackie