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i'm 16 years old and i still live with my parents. almost 10 months ago i got into legal trouble with a close friend of mine named justin. i recently have been hanging out with him, unknown to my parents. my parents are completely against him. i last started my period on november 6th and ended it on the 10th (i actually had to call my ex to find out. the last day i was at his house i thought i was still on my period but it turned out that i had stopped) and the 19 myself and my friend justin wound up having sex in my car. we didnt use a condom. i didnt really think about it until a couple days ago. i decided to download the femta fertility chart thing and found out that the day that we had sex was the day i was at highest risk of getting pregnant. i wont consider abortion in this case (if it had been rape, or had i been on b.c. and unknowingly taken something to make it fail, it would be a different story. i dont think i would consider it even then though) and i'm hesitant about adoption, because i know that if i am, i would be completely able to raise a child, financial issues and all. the day after we had sex i got in my car accident, which consequently is the only reason i remember what day we had sex. what i'm worried about, is if i am, how do i tell my parents? i know i have to go to the doctor if i take a test and its positive, i have to go to the doctor anyway for a knee injury. but as of now i have no car and no way to get too and from appointments if i am pregnant. and i know that if i dont tell them, i know its going to come out along the lines of him comming over my parents seeing him and telling him to leave, and me telling them they're going to have to deal because i'm pregnant and its his kid. like i said i didnt really think about this up until yesterday or the day before, but for the past week about i've been extremely tired, i've been moody, i've been vaugly naseous. and i just get the feeling that my periods not gonna show. now, i know that the said symptoms can be pms, but i've never once gotten pms symptoms. another thing is is i dont really cry over little things. ever. and i've noticed that once again for about the past week, every little thing upsets me. and one minute i'll be crying, the next i'll be pissed off. and thats not the way i am before my period. i'm only like that when i'm actually on my period. i'm supposed to get my period (according to the femta chart) on saturday. but like i said, i get the feeling its not gonna show. does anyone have any suggestions. not for what to do about being pregnant(abortions/adoptions) but more of if i am, how can i tell my parents without wreaking absolute havok. also if you have any questions feel free to ask. i may not be able to answer, that week is kind of hazy because when i had my accident, i got knocked out(hit my face on the steering wheel so its told) any advice or support is greatly appreciated.
dana
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Your parents love you. You probably scared the living daylights out of them with your car accident! They have issues with this guy and I am sure they will be less than thrilled to learn he got their daughter pregnant. They will probalby be upset. They may cry, yell, sulk, be disappointed...not in you really, just that things didn't go the way they had envisioned for you. Let them feel what they feel and have their own emotional reaction...you would want the same respect. You FEEL what you FEEL and they will each, in his and her own time, come to grips with this. They will adjust to the reality that you ARE pregnant and having a baby...their grandchild. They will rally behind you and help you whether you decide to parent or place the baby for adoption. Our daughter's birthmom was raped at 13. Her mom wanted her to to abort and was VERY upset when she refused. However, she came around and was there in the delivery room. The helped her daughter through those months before the birth, helped her during the birth, and helped her during the time after the baby was placed with us. Parents love their children and NOTHING can change that. I would be honest and not wait too long to tell them. Make sure you let them know you trust them, you know they they will be disappointed, own your part in this...if you feel you made a mistake SAY SO. Parents LOVE that stuff! LOL. Let them vent. Don't make excuses or stick up for the guy...it is not the time. THey are thinking about YOU and YOUR future...they are hacked off at the guy. Don't try to talk him up. Let them hate him if they want. They need some place to put their anger. Even that will likely lessen with time and IF he steps up and is a man about this. I applaude you for not wanting to abort your baby IF you are pregnant. Abortion is a horrible thing and it is very hard on women...it is dangerous for the mother. Please keep us all posted. You are in my prayers.
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First, get a home pregnancy test, available anywhere. Better yet, get 2. Take one first thing the next morning. If it's neg, and your cycle still doesn't show, then wait a few days and test again. If either test is positive, then you should get to the doctor, heatlh clinic, anywhere that can confirm with a beta (blood) test.
If you are pregnant, then you should tell your parents. Do so as calmly as possible, and be prepared for them to be upset. There's not much you can do about that. It's one of those things that is worse the longer you wait b/c every day you know and don't tell them, you're in a way decieving them. Does that make sense? If you feel it will help, bring a trusted third party, like a religious leader, close family friend, etc. to support everyone when you 'break the news'.
From there you'll all need to do some soul searching and thinking. Give them some time to process your news. Give yourself some time to think about your news. Remember, you've rocked their world as well as your own. I found this helped me: Wait for their third reaction. First will be from anger, fear (all anger stems from fear) and shock. Second will be from disbelief. The THIRD reaction, may not come out for several days, will be more from their rational minds. So be patient. You've got 39 weeks or so to figure it all out, assuming you don't choose to terminate your pregnancy.
HTH, best of luck.
Regina
hey Dana, go to a grocery store and buy a pregnancy home test for about $5 and just take a pee in the store's bathroom. You can find out right away. You could get a false negative under 3 weeks pregnant, but they are pretty accurate. What you don't want to do is psych yourself into thinking you're pregnant if you aren't-- all that will do is cause you unnecessary suffering.
If your home test in the market says positive, you need to go to a planned parenthood sort of clinic-- check the internet for listings in your area -- usually you can get free consultation and then a free pregnancy test that will either confirm the pregnancy or conclusively tell you that you aren't pregnant
Should you be pregnant, take a deep breath and forgive yourself. You're sixteen! What sixteen year old thinks things through? Not to give you an excuse, but really, when you were fooling around with your boyfriend, you weren't thinking, but don't punish yourself with judgment, just get on with your life and take that pregnancy test.
Lemme know how it's going. I wanna read about your results by Tuesday, got it?