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Dear Fellow Adopters , I must say that I waited my 21 years to receive my non identifying information it arrived 3 days ago and it was terribly disappointing. It only said my birth day I already knew, my mothers age at my birth and that I was a female. Things that are really irrelevant to my search. So I felt a sadness I had not felt I have cried thousands of tears over this situation and I have not got any closer to the closure I am seeking. So whatҒs next Im not sure do they contact her now about the rest of my info?
Iam feeling kind of bitter I tried to refrain form the bitterness but it seems my birth mother is selfish its my life my history my blood connected to ancestors as well. But it has came with a few revelations as well.
I have searched my whole life for these missing pieces that somehow fit inside of me yet to find nothing not even a trace , no clues no nothing. Maybe what I was looking for was closure to how I dealt with it years ago.
I found with opening that letter many tears and a overwhelming sadness but with the despair I gave birth to a new found meaning to it all. That maybe it can give you all a new perspective as well.
I have a family . A family of my own now, something that is just mine. I am no longer that scared little girl but a woman that can consul that young one inside to a safe warm place.
It doesnt matter now as much as I would love to say that there is still a piece inside that aches to know. We are all overdue for our dreams to come true. DonҒt waste your happiness on some information that may never come thats my advise just live and love man ҅ thats all you can do.
Best Wishes to all of you. Really I hope we all find what we are looking for. Bye for now.
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Hi
I am an adoptee too. I searched many, many years for my birth family. I know non ID can be disappointing but that is all it is - non ID info. The agency your bmom went through most likely filled in the blanks. A lot of times especially in adoptions that took place years ago there weren't too many blanks to fill in.
Birth moms didn't have the opportunity to give very much info. The agency not the birth mom is responsible for that.
It was frowned upon and it was thought that we would never want it or see it anyway.
In many states there is an adoption record search agency who can help you find your bmom and even act as the intermediary to see if she would like to have contact with you. It is no guarantee and there is a fee involved. But definitely worth a try.
It sounds like you have come a long way, and thought many things through. But as with many of us there is still a longing deep inside. I hope that someday you will be able to fill the void within yourself. And I hope for all of us that some day we can change the way adoptions were (and in some cases still are) handled.
Best wishes,
Snuffie
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Dear GypsyStar11, I know how you feel waiting, I am lucky to of received more ID information then you did, but have been disappointed since, I did a search through the agency that handled my adoption and have gotten no closer to unanswered questions. The agency found my birth mother 7mo. ago, she waited until just recently to finally answer them,. with do not release her information and do not contact her again. I had begged for medical information if nothing else, and she denied me this, I have a child that has had problems and the dr.s, would love to know if things run in my family or did things just happen so we know what directions to go in and watch for, and she was told this and it mad no difference, so I'm no closer to knowing as you are. One problem is states you live in what your allowed, which isnt fair we should be allowed all the basics, I mean you can't just find people with discriptions and medical history, their private selves would still be intact, and both parents should have rights, I will never know my birth father because she gave no names, and he doesnt have the chance to decide.All you can do is hope for the best, and pray things get changed and we are treated like humanbeings. Ones who have the right to know, not be kept in the dark, for heaven sakes let someone turn some lights on.