trying to decide . . .

Hi Anne! What an exciting time for you trying to decide on how/when to expand your family! We have 5 children ages 7, 5.5, 3, 13 months, and 11.5 months. Our family goes boy, girl, boy, girl, boy. That being said, I am amazed that they all play with each other at different times in different ways. There doesn't seem to be any single "pair" of siblings who play the most together. I'm curious if this will change as the babies get older, but right now they are just as happy to play with an older sibling as they are playing with each other. I also worried about our 3 year old feeling left out as there seems to be a "pair" of sibs on either side of him. But that hasn't been the case yet. He seems equally comfortable playing the "big" kid stuff with his older siblings and the "little" kid stuff with his younger siblings. As far as handling 3 kids under 3. It's not as terribly horrible as it sounds. Our 3 year old turned 3 the week before our youngest came home. Yes, I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but we do lots of stuff everyday. And I know that the first year and a half or so is the most labor intensive. Once we have everyone walking and sorta talking things will get easier in a lot of ways. It can be done! The "are they twins" question I'm still dealing with one form of that or another...but there will always be questions whether you adopt simultaenously or not. As for evening it out, our oldest daugther is already campaigning for another sister to even out the family! I am no where near ready to consider it!! :) There is such joy in a full house. I can tell you that the chaos around here just fills my heart with happiness. There have been so many times in the last 5 months since our youngest came home that I sit back and listen to the noise in our house and I'm just SO happy and thankful for it. And that is coming from someone who never ever dreamed of having more than three children! :) Good luck in your decision making!! Kim

Kim, you give such great responses! (Mine will look lame in comparison :) ) We were kidless before adopting Eli and Nic so I can't help you with those questions (we were/are parents to 3 dogs though). It was a pretty rough 8 weeks for me after we brought the boys home. I wasn't getting enough sleep. I always had something to do (feeding, diapering, washing clothes, washing bottles and dishes, etc) so I felt GUILTY that I wasn't enjoying the boys enough, that the boys were getting short changed, and that we weren't bonding too well. So it was a pretty rough 8 weeks and a rude awakening. You think you are going to be soooooo incredibly happy when you FINALLY get your kids home. I was just plain exhausted. After the first 8 weeks though, things started to get a bit easier. I felt comfortable taking the boys out and about (learned the hard way about always having bottles and food with you). I just gained more confidence and felt more like their mom. I think they could sense this too. Today, I am so proud of my two amazing little fellas. They really do get more fun everyday and it seems like things are getting easier. They are starting to play with eachother, too, which is really heartwarming. I am even getting excited about our next adoption! (who knows if we will, but I am hoping maybe next year??) Anne, you already have experience parenting, so I think that adopting 2 is certainly doable. It WILL be tiring though, so if you are planning on adopting two at once, I would suggest that you line up help right now. I am so thankful that my Mom lives close and she can babysit for an hour or two here and there. Also, I have a friend that comes every Thursday afternoon and babysits for 2 1/2 hours. Sometimes I meet friends at a restaurant and sometimes I just stay home and pay bills :rolleyes: . It is a huge decision and one that you and your husband obviously need to laboriously ponder over. Whatever you decide will be the right decision :) Take Care, Jen

It's unusual but nice to see other parents to Mexican born children - we too have been blessed with two daughters from Mexico :). I have to say I think it's pretty impossible to predict which child will want to play with which child based just on gender and age. So much more comes into play - the activity at hand and the personality of the kids. I'm willing to bet they'll all play really well together regardless. My girls are almost 8 and 5 years old. Sometimes they play really nicely together and yet other times they play either alone or with their twin 2.5 year old brothers. Sometimes three will play and one will be doing something else...you get the picture. I have so enjoyed my twins and have to say there are some really great aspects to having two little ones. However next time I know I'll enjoy having one baby to hold and interact with at a time. Whatever you decide I wish you well! Caroline

As you will tell my post that I am just starting looking at foreign adoption, but I didn't think we could adopt from Mexico. Where do I find out who can adopt from where. I am a single 46 year old woman and people tell me I can not adopt except from foster care. Does anyone have any information on where to go to find about where I could adopt from and how much it will cost.

for your encouraging responses. You made some good points from the perspective of moms who've been there, so that is helping me think through all this. I'm internalizing these thoughts particularly . . . 1) more than age and gender affects who plays with whom 2) line up help now! 3) expect to be tired a while 4) and most of all, IT IS ALL WORTH IT! :-) I've got photos on my desk now, and we have to make a decision soon. I'll keep you posted!

Anne, Definitely keep us posted! Jen

Arizona, Guatemala allows singles to adopt. I don't think the age matters to the country of Guatemala.... but some agencies that do Guatemala adoptions may have a limit. I certainly know of a few women who have adopted from Guatemala in their early 50's. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. Jen :)