Intermediate Anxiety Disorder

Doctors unfamiliar with attachment disorder often use the diagnosis you listed or other similiar ones. There are also doctors who don't believe RAD exists so will use anything but that. While it's likely listed in the diagnostic manual, if your child was diagnosed RAD previously and still has many symptoms, consult a qualified attachment therapist. The other thing I would do is ask the doctor who made the diagnosis what it means and how it's treated. I would also ask him about the former RAD diagnosis and why his is different. That will clarify for you whether he dismissed it based on findings or personal belief.

He is supposedly one of only two in my area who deal with attachment disorders. One of the drawbacks of living in the country I guess. What I'll probably start doing is keeping a journal on her. Try to write down when she has a fit/rage and what may have triggered it so I can try to tell if I need to push forward. The doctor did offer play therapy for her if that's what we wanted but he also said he felt (and the other doctor's who "interviewed" her) the episodes would get fewer and further between. She mostly loses control when her schedule is messed up for more than 1 day or she spends time with my family. They spoil her big time making it hard for her to get back into the swing of things at home. I've tried talking but it falls on deaf ears. I've just accepted the fact that we can't be around them too much. Maybe when she's a little older and can understand it's a different house with different rules. It's really sad though because she loves them so much. I have to do what I feel is right for her and not worry if it hurts their feelings a little. Thanks for the advice!

Attachment therapists don't use play therapy. They do use theraplay sometimes which is different. If you're looking for an attachment therapist, try [url]www.attachment.org[/url] [url]www.radzebra.org[/url] or [url]www.attach.org[/url] All list attachment therapists in various areas. Are you with your child when she's visiting your family? If not, it could be stirring some internal abandonment issues. I have a child who doesn't believe I exist if he's not with me. Any chance she has fetal alcohol issues? While my RAD kids need structure and react to large breaks, only my FAE child reacts and rages to mild breaks in routine. I hope you can get some answers. I would try using love and logic parenting as much as possible. It may help while you're sorting things out. The journal is a really good idea. With my RAD kids, though, there were seldom any patterns. It still helped to have the journal, though.

I got out the evaluation after reading your post. He calls it "Intermittent Explosive Disorder" and suggests a "play based modality...to develop coping strategies and anger management skills." They almost always say something different so who the heck knows. He did suggest I read a book entitled "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene so I guess I'll do that and see where to go from there. She acts that way with my family only when I'm there. She has realized that they don't agree with my parenting techniques and pits us against each other. My husband & I clearly see it (as do his mother & step-father and my son's bio family) but my family just doesn't get it. They think it's cute for her to talk back to me or tell me "NO" and hug/kiss her when she pitches a fit because she doesn't want to do what I've asked her to. Sometimes they yell at me for being so horrible as to ask my child to clean up her toys before we leave or to expect her to mind me. One 2 or 3 hour visit with them can set her (and me) back months. She treats both of us like well, lower than the junk on the bottom of your shoes around my family which doesn't always inspire us to be our sweetest to her which then irritates my family and they start all their junk about how horrible we are to her and how we should shower her with love and treat her like the princess she is. I can't get them to understand or see that she won't allow us to do when they are around - it wouldn't fit with her idea of how things are gonna go. She's a completely different child at home. At home, I'm the first one she comes to for everything. With my family, I'm last - even behind a stranger. She's not that way with my husband's family because they don't allow her to do them that way. If my family could just see how she is away from them, I think they would all realize what's really going on but that's a problem in and of itself - they can't see it because she'll know they are there and won't act the same. It's a frustrating, agonizing cycle that has caused extremely hurt feelings and distanced a once close family. Her ** did take drugs during her pregnancy but she did not exhibit any of these problems until she was about 1 1/2 years old. When I read the list of symptoms for RAD, it's like they are watching her and writing. Only it comes in spurts. It's not an everyday thing anymore. When she first came to live with us, we would have 2 or 3 hour long tantrums a night or I would pick her up at daycare and she would have self-inflicted bite marks all over her arms. No one but my husband & I and the worker at daycare would see these fits so everyone thought we were horrible, horrible parents. DFACs never saw them but they had the word of the other foster mother too so what we were saying was nothing new. She was on breathing treatments, would not go to sleep unless she was being held, hardly ever smiled, had less than a 10 word vocabulary, wouldn't let my husband touch her or talk to her, plus the rages. Two years later (no thanks to any of our families because they aren't there 24/7) no breathing treatments, begs to go to bed by herself, never stops smiling, has an unlimited vocabulary, loves her daddy dearly, and only has fits once every couple of weeks or longer. For horrible parents, I think we must be doing something right. Think my family sees it that way? You'd be wrong if you said yes. They still think we're horrible to her. They think it's horrible that I won't let them have a snack 15 minutes before we're sitting down to eat or that I expect them to clean their plates or no dessert. Don't they remember raising me that way?! It never crosses their minds that most of my rules are actually their rules from my childhood. I never hear "You handled that great" or "Good job" when I do something they think is right; just "You should have done it this way..." No wonder I limit her time with them, huh? Sorry, my nerves are on edge right now and I just kind of got on my soap box. We just adopted her Monday and didn't tell any of them because we didn't want to be treated horribly by her (and them) while we were signing papers to adopt her. We wanted our little family to be the center of her attention. We never could have taken a family picture if my family had been there; she wouldn't have allowed one of us to hold her. She was that way at my son's adoption because the whole family was there. All the pictures of us have my sister in them because no one else could hold her. I know they probably have hurt feelings for being left in the dark but I really don't care right now. Obviously we didn't tell them our real reason for not telling them; we told them we didn't want to get their hopes up and then something go wrong like they so often do with DFACs. Anyway, I don't think it's FAE; I've done some reading and it doesn't sound like her. If she had any down time, I would think bi-polar but she's always up. The only time she cries is when she's doing something she doesn't want to do or when she's really sleepy. She was practically abandoned by her birth mother at birth. She was there but would leave her with strangers for days or weeks and finally taken into custody at 8 months. She was in two foster homes so she really wasn't moved around alot after coming into care but a lot before. The father was never there and only came to visit once that I'm aware of. A lot of it could be attributed to being 3-years old but there's more to it. I've often heard of parents saying their child would lay in the floor and pitch a fit for hours or lash out at others but I've never heard one say their child would intentionally hurt themselves. My son tries to hurt us when he gets mad but she tries to hurt herself even if she's mad at us or him and we're standing right there. She has an almost permanent mark between her eyes because that's where she goes first when she gets mad. We have her sitting in time out at a table with her hands spread apart so she can't do anything like that. She has to sit in the room with us or the crying lasts longer and she's more likely to hurt herself. And it just makes her madder for you try to hold her while she's like that. I've tried it a few times and I just can't handle it. She will lash out at me then and make herself cry longer. At least, the fits have gotten fewer and further between so it's not quite as bad as it used to be.

You are definetly not alone. Many parents of children with attachment difficulties are seen as mean unfeeling monsters who just need to love their kids more. If your family can't get it, then I'd limit my time with them. YOu could provide them with information on attachment disorder and see if that helps. It likely would help her for you to hold her during the tantrums and speak softly too her. These kids are full of rage and need to release it. By being allowed to release it in a mother's loving arms, it often will help them understand that you are a safe mommy that can keep them safe from the angry monster inside them. But you have to stay calm and sometimes the fits are longer. The explosive child is a good book and reading it will likely be helpful. I would still seek an attachment therapist to help you. She sounds like she might have an anxious attachment and during times of high stress or anxiety, she blows up rather then coming to you and using her words. Hang in their. You know what's best for your child. Those websites I listed before to find therapists also have lots of attachment information.

Thanks, I'll check them out.

I didn't read your whole post but I have a child that was diagnosed with rad AND generalized anxiety disorder. I just wanted to say that LOVE LOVE LOVE the book that you talk about--THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD. It is also a good read for parents with Implosive behaviors.

My son also has the dx of Intermittant Rage Disorder... among other things. the book The Explosive Child has been a real help for me in coping. Just reading his various cases makes you feel a bit better knowing there are others out there dealing with children that just fly off into irrational fits.

Wow, I'll say. :cheer: Keep your eyes on your little prize. And you already realize this but just to give you some "objective" validation -- Your family is downright subversive. I would keep them away from her too. They are NOT supportive to you -- which HURTS HER when her progress is set back by THEIR antics. If you have TOLD them what happens and they continue? Well - wow. Who does that? Of course she loves them -- they're playing to her worst instincts. What child wouldn't love being pampered and told she can act any way she want's and mommy's just a big meanie who doesn't understand her? OK. Maybe I should not say this because they are your family and it sounds like you love them and are trying to give them the benefit of the doubt -- but I think what they're doing is actually somewhat evil. Kind of like bringing home a huge cheesecake and saying "come on, try a bite!" when you know your spouse is on a diet.

The main thing to look for with Intermittent Explosive Disorder vs. RAD is does the person feel guilty afterwards? RAD children often experience episodes of rage that can seem to come out of nowhere, but they generally do not feel remorse afterwards. I haven't dealt with Intermittent Explosive Disorder in children, but I know that for adults the remorse is the main thing that sets this disorder apart from other causes of violent behavior.

prospectivemom makes a good point there. When our former foster daughter, who exhibitted most of the symptoms of RAD had a melt down any apologies afterward felt like "I'm sorry, now let me do what I want". Where as when my 8 yr old with Intermittant Rage Disorder has a melt down he is very tearful and broken hearted afterward. His apology seems much more sincere... where fd said she was sorry so she could get off her time out, or get to do something, he cries and tells me he is sorry, only wanting to know that I still love him.

A contextual behavioral viewpoint is made up of many distinct but related elements. Underlying all the work is a philosophical viewpoint that guides the research and therapy and helps define the goals. Next, is the basic research that informs the applied work. The basic research in this area comes from multiple fields but is most guided by behavior analytic work on extinction and cognition. The research on extinction comes from animal laboratories as well as brief clinical preparations. This work has greatly affected the field of Cognitive Behavior Therapy and has offered major insights into how the treatment of anxiety disorders should occur. Relatedly, the work on language and cognition coming out of relational frame theory is guiding the way in which we deal with inner experiences.