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Warning: This is a vent. A wonderment I have held for several months, and for the life of me, cannot understand within the 'adoption world'.
I'm certain I'm not alone, because I've talked to other hopeful adoptive parents too. What is up with the continued greed of agencies and attorneys in regards to incredibly hiking fees over the last six months????
We have been adopting for almost 25yrs now. We went through a span of a few years without planning to add to our family...but have gone 'back into adding to our family' for the last four years. Our youngest 'babies' now are 2yrs and 3yrs old. In any case, we are waiting for another AA infant...which would be our eighth child/baby.
I'm finding myself more and more discouraged over the fee hiking of most agencies, attorneys and facilitators (though I've often thought the latter were higher in the first place). What's the deal? Surely the paperwork isn't that much more expensive? Is it because wages have increased so? And, I'm not talking about the 'unequal fee schedules between AA and CC babies'. As far as this goes, fees for all babies should have been at the lower rates; and does not explain why some smaller agencies are able to conduct adoptions for much lower fees than medium sized agencies, etc.
I practically grieve for those who are just starting out in the adoption process, or are just trying to add their second or third child to their family! With the rate of fee increases, many a family would be hard-pressed to adopt just one child, let alone more!!!!
I do know that there are agencies and attorneys who continue to work for basically the same fees they arranged a year or two ago...but they are becoming more and more rare. I also know that too many agencies are touting the use of the 'adoption tax credit' as a means to afford an adoption. While this credit may work for some in the first or second adoptions, many are unable to take that credit.
Soooo, what's up with the greed? I'm told by some entities, that this is due to birthparents asking for more monies as pregnancy related expenses. While I'm sure this may be true in some instances; this does not explain the increase of agency placement fees, now does it?!!!! And, I do believe that more agencies are playing the: 'We do not let you lose your money should birthparents choose to parent, rather we keep your money to let it roll-over.' Basically then, these people are saying that they'll keep my money, gain interest on it, and control it, rather than our family do so?!!!
This is---and always has been fasinating to me!!!
So, my cyber-friends....any ideas as to 'why' this pricing phenomenon has occurred? Regardless, my heart is heavy with this seemingly 'greed', and I cannot fathom where the ceiling will stop.
I can only pray for myself and my friends, that we will be able to afford 'one more baby' before adoption fees are soo expensive, they are not attainable by the majority of the middle class.
Okay...venting done......
Sincerely,
Linny
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Long..
Unfortunately there are only 2 affordable options available now.
#1. The most preferred would be if you are lucky enough to be close to (and able to find) a "fee for service" agency. Small agencies averaging less than 30 adoptions per year are your best bet. You should be able to complete an adoption for between 4 and 10k depending on bparent expenses.
#2. The only real option if you are unable to locate a local "fee for service" agency (as they are very rare anymore), is a private adoption. It takes longer because you must locate pbparents yourself. It is riskier because things literally work backwards. You "match" first...THEN pursue counseling and screening. But there are alot of things YOU can do in a situation like this to save yourself tons of money "i.e. help her secure medical coverage to cover the birth, aid for housing, food stamps, childcare for existing children, etc.". Affordable private adoptions DO happen, alot more frequently than people think. Alot of pbmoms who are truly sincere about wanting an open adoption with visits would rather choose a local family, which is crucial in being able to do all the legwork yourself. It is not uncommon to be able to complete a private adoption for less than 5k total.
SO, you CAN DO IT! You have to be able to accept that privacy is a thing of the past. Tell everyone you meet you are looking for a baby and hand out your card. You MUST be prepared to walk away from a situation where the pbmom wants alot of money up front, or refuses to assist you to pursue alternative sources of aid for her (i.e. paperwork, meet with caseworker, etc). If you do those things, and the adoption falls through at the last minute your heart will still be broken, but at least you're financially free to try again as soon as you are able.
As far as why fees have increased so dramatically ... people are willing to pay it. If the only way to have a family is to plunk down $20k in cash, most people will find a way to do it....some way, some how, some day. IF treatment is no better, fees have skyrocketed for that too. I truly believe it's a matter of "what is it WORTH to the customer". When you try to put a dollar amount on a priceless thing like being a parent....that's what happens I guess.
-sleepy
Linny - I am glad that you started this thread. My dh and I are unable to adopt privately or go thru any other type of adoption (other than maybe foster care) because of the cost. We just don't have the money. I just can't figure out why adoptions are so expensive. I know that people are going to say, "Well, if you want a baby bad enough then you will find the means." This is not always possible. I am a sahm with our fs. I quit my job almost three years ago (when I went thru my last round of fertility treatments). We spent everything we had. I have not worked since. I will graduate from college this Tuesday - but can't get a job until our fs's case is complete (court dates, visitations, case plan meetings, evaluations, etc.). We have retained an attorney to fight for our FS rights - not ours. This attorney said that it could cost us $10,000 plus. We don't have this kind of money. But, we can't let this child go back into the type of environment that he came from. Of course, there are NO promises that we are going to be able to "save" him - but we have to try. In this case, we have to pay to fight for our fs's rights - while the bparents receive their attorney for free. Everytime we file a piece of paper with the court, the bparents attorney will file an appeal. When this happens, our attorney has to travel from where he is located to the hearing. We will be getting charged anywhere from $800 to $1,000 or higher per appearance. Oh well, and the story goes on..... Hope EVERYONE has a nice Mother's Day. Christina
Linny,
You've brought up some really great points. I, too, have wondered about the fees being so high and where does the money really go. I was recently told by one SW that they are seeing more and more moms who are better informed about their choices and their options. In a lot of these cases now, she said that moms are requesting for higher expenses be paid and more counseling. I do believe that these may be good things for the moms in the long run, but I am wondering about the recent hike in fees if they were providing these same services before.
I also believe that there would be more people willing to adopt if it was much more affordable. We live in an area in which the schools leave much to be desired and had placed our kids in porivate schools years ago, but the financial responsibilities of having 4 kids in private schools is the same amount of some of the higher adoption agencies' fees! So, we find ourselves in a quandry. What do we do? Try to save more? Almost impossible with the oldest preparing for college in 2 years!
We have since decided to switch and pursue an adoption throught he state but there are certainly times when I have to wonder if we would've simply switched agencies and continued on the path of a domestic infant adoption had the fees been a lot more resonable for us. Not to say that this new path is second best, but, let's get real here, if we all had millions, we would all be making slightly different changes. For those that CAN seriously afford it, then that's wonderful, but the rest of us are sort of left in the same boat trying to do what is best for our families and for the children that will hopefully find us soon.
I will admit that I often feel guilty and rather reluctant to complain at all. I mean, realistically, can we even put a price on what it would mean to add a child to our lives? The agencies, facilitators and lawyers are providing a service and with increased demand, they can charge more for the "hottest" commodity (i.e. children - horrible). And they do it because they CAN. I have a set of cousins that are right now beginning their adoption of their second child and need to come up with $16,000 to do so. They took a great big inhale, slowly blew it out and opened their adoption acoount to sock everything they can into it. They are hoping to be ready within the next 2 years. They exhausted everything ($10,000) for their first adoption. Is this alright? Yes, if they don't see a problem with it. For my family, we would have to struggle with that. (This is becoming sort of a vent as well........Sorry!!!) :(
Let's end on a more positive note!
Happy Mother's Day everyone and good luck on the journey!
Thanks to all who have replied.
Sleepy: We do know how this can be done, because we've adopted seven times. Actually, we have no room to complain...but I feel incredibly sad for couples who are just starting out and hoping to adopt their first, second or third. Yes, I do believe there are enough 'babies' to adopt; and I don't mean to put a price-tag on adoption......but I also feel that there is incessant greed among some entities who are out to make a buck from adoption...not necessarily out to help birthfamilies and adoptive couples.
Christina: My heart goes out to you. So sadly, too often, the system and courts are not out to establish the best interests of the child. BTDT. God Bless you in your attempts to make things right for this little one.
Kllee: We can understand your quandry completely. Of our four children still at home, two are now in private school. It is difficult and an individual choice in deciding 'how far to go' in determining how thin you want to spread the finances. In our case, we have decided to 'go thin'...which means that we do not have individual college accounts for our children. (This is actually something we had decided back when we just had two children as well........). But, in adopting more, this means that it's possible our children will not always 'have it all'.......it's such an individual choice, for certain.
My purpose in starting this thread, was due to complete frustration. It would seem that the action of adoption and what it is supposed to mean, has become blurred and twisted in many areas. Seems it may be turning into something it was never intended to be in the first place...which spells disaster for many people involved in the process.
Sincerely,
Linny
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but I also feel that there is incessant greed among some entities who are out to make a buck from adoption...not necessarily out to help birthfamilies and adoptive couples.
I will admit that I often feel guilty and rather reluctant to complain at all. I mean, realistically, can we even put a price on what it would mean to add a child to our lives?
Why isnt there regulation that controls this?
Linny,
I too have heard people say that and I find it very irritating. I have also heard, you will spend $30,000 for a car but you don't want to spend that on adoption. Well, no I don't because I know that it does not need to cost so much. If you can do a private adoption for less than 10k then how can agencies say they are charging so much for "legal fees, placement fees" whatever.
I would think that if they had the childs best interest in mind they would want you to have that money to spend on the child and not go banckrupt just going through "the process" to adopt them.
when some people who have paid those high fees, get uptight and claim that the rest of us are putting a price-tag on love. I don't understand this, but I've heard it all too often.
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Actually, and I'm probably in the minority, but I think adoption is a bargain.
Look, the delivery alone can cost as much as $5,000 -- up to $12,000 if a c-section is needed. That's not including prenatal visits, vitamins, testing, living expenses, counseling and other birthparent expenses. Furthermore, adoption agencies hire social workers with _master's_ degrees and attorneys (have you paid a lawyer lately--they make $100 just answering a phone call).
It's not a matter of putting a "price on love," it's a matter of paying people, highly educated people, for their time (and giving them benefits, presumably -- have you priced medical insurance lately?) and paying for medical expenses which are not cheap.
Yeah, it's a lot of money, and I'm not saying there aren't some people taking advantage of other's desperation. But, here's a list of things that cost more than the numbers you're quoting:
1 year's worth of college tuition.
A mid priced automobile
The down payment on a nice house
Those are just the things off the top of my head.
Linny
I'm finding myself more and more discouraged over the fee hiking of most agencies, attorneys and facilitators (though I've often thought the latter were higher in the first place). What's the deal? Surely the paperwork isn't that much more expensive? Is it because wages have increased so?
Linny
I can only pray for myself and my friends, that we will be able to afford 'one more baby' before adoption fees are soo expensive, they are not attainable by the majority of the middle class.
I am with ya Spay. I have read each post but hesitated to participate in this thread, because I have such a dissenting view; further, I always hesitate to discuss the financial aspect of adoption. But. . .
What is an unreasonable fee is quite subjective from family to family. We have adopted 2 times in the last 2 1/2 years. Our first adoption cost just over $20,000, which included agency fee, travel and finalization. Our last adoption, 5 months ago, was just over that amount. We have experienced two smooth adoptions, partly because we chose experienced, ethical and professional agencies and attorneys. We feel that each party involved in the adoption plan received advocacy, information and counseling of options. In our first adoption, the birthmother received minimal expenses (less than $2,000; in our recent adoption, birthmother received no monies.) We were fully aware that we could adopt independently for a fraction of the cost; however, we are extremely aware of the financial risk of doing so. Each of these agencies did not require money until placement; for the last adoption, we did not sign the check until the 10 day revocation had expired, not because we were unwilling, but because our son was in the NICU and not in our care yet. Each of these agencies, in the event of a revocation, does apply any paid fees to the next situation, and I have no doubt that they would have done so with us, had that occurred. While it did not, it did happen to someone else that we know; the agency stood by their word. (we experienced 2 failed matchs, never a failed placement)
At the fear of sounding crass, most people, without hesitation, spend more when purchasing a new car. Everything costs money - not the opportunity to be parents but certainly the services needed and provided when one is navigating the adoption process. We chose the route of having experienced social workers, counselers and attorneys assist us in our journey rather than doing it ourselves and felt that those services were valuable to all involved.
I agree that as a family tough choices have to be made. There are certainly times when I think I would like to have another child; however, our desire to send our two children to private school and provide a great college education for them far supercedes any desire to parent another child. That is the personal choice that is right for our family.
As someone said, they charge $30,000 because people will pay it.