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I clicked on the link that said share my story and it brought me here. I am Annie, 25 years old and in september my husband and i will be placing our baby for adoption. We have been married for 1 month and dated for the last year. I have always wanted to have children. When i found out i was pregnant it broke my heart because neither myself or zach were in the position to provide any sort of stable life for a child. In mid january we were living in a little apartment in Denver, and moving out in 2 weeks, unsure of where we would go exactly. I had been 'sick' for a couple weeks and so we borrowed $20 from a friend and zach walked thru the snow to buy a pregnancy test. it was positive. My whole life priorities shifted. We couldnt even afford groceries! I made a list of all the pros and cons, and in my heart i knew i didnt want to be a single parent to this baby, and that zach wasnt ready to be a dad at all. He has alot of things to work through. But I knew how much i loved my baby, i have always dreamed about my future children, and i want the best for them. So i chose adoption. I have since moved to CA to be closer to my family, who is very supportive, in a month Zach is coming out to be with me until the baby arrives and then we will go back to live in CO. We have met the adoptive couple, 2 wonderful people named Wendy and Ross, they have a son who will be 2 on july 9th (also adopted), his name is Nathan and we met him. I am excited for this child to have opportunities and united parents that zach and i never had.I only really worry about how I will feel afterwards, if i will regret my decision or feel anger towards Zach, even though he is extremely supportive and I know he feels bad that this happened at this time. I worry about post partum depression and crying alot. Are there any birth moms with advice or stories that relate to mine. I am having a little girl also. Annie
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annie,my biggest advice is hold your baby girl as much as possible in the hospital, feed her love her, change her diaper, after all you have to say hello before you can say goodbye! and take LOTS and lots of pictures! and maybe even take a pillow home from the hospital that ur lil girl had been near, or even sleeped on alot so you have something to hug when you feel down, the pillow i have helps quite a bit, i still sleep with it on my bed along with his baby blankey every night, and if i ever feel especially sad i will cuddle up with it, it carrys the sweet aroma of baby boy!! really take as many souvineers as you can get. and even start a journal it really helped me to write. i wrote him letters every day right after and still write to him alotand painting was a biggey too, i love to draw and paint, and i painted baby boy a picture.....(and his mom and dad hung it up on his wall :D )...so if you are into that at all i know it helped me alot!and talk about her to anyone thatll listenwell thats all i can think of right now, i hope some of that stuff helps ya out, i know it really helped me out alot! i wish you the best of luck on your journey!
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I agree. Hold your baby as much as you can, take pictures, make a memory book. Write a journal during your pregnancy, send a copy along with your baby when she goes to her new family. Seek comfort, love and support from each other and your families and friends. Remember always that you sought life for your baby, and a more stable life than you could offer. (Notice I said "stable life", not "more love!) You will never forget, but eventually you can feel good about what you've done. Good luck to you, Annie & Zach, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.Beth
I'm with the rest... Pluse DON'T let anyone tell you how you should feel or what to do at the hoptal IF you want her with you the hole time have her in the room... the time in the hoptal is your only "real family time" SO enjoy it...
We took hours and hours vido tape... LOTS of pics... and meet with the acouple and there family as much as you can... Ask them anything and everthing you want/ need to know... this is your time to get to know them... My baby Girls 1st dad and I are making her a scrapbook of us when we were younger sooo she know why she looks like she does... And the BEST thing anyone told me in to ALWAYS ask for more then you want ( like phone call, letters and pic visted)... That way you can change it as you need... AND CRY when you need to... theres nothing wrong with it... The biggest help too me was breastfeeding in the hosptal... then I pumped for her when I went home for a month I'm just finshing that up... that what helped me and keep everything they'll let you keep...
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I agree with every one here !! HOLD that little girl ALOT !! Take stuff home with you like the little hat they will put on her when she is born and the blanket anything you can think of !! I even took home one of the bottles my son drank out of!! Also take tons and tons of pictures ... as many as possible !! The only regets I seem to have is not taking more pictures and not holding him more !!
I cant really say that my story is much like yours in fact it is rather different but still I will share a quick versen of it . I already have a daughter who is now 2 1/2 years old but when she turned one I ended up pregnant with my ex and my's second child and I knew I could not keep him. My ex actually suggested that I "take care of it " and anyone who knows me or has had that talk with me knows that is something I am totally against but anyway I new from that time on that I need to place my son.. had no money no job and was hang on by the skin of my teeth just to raise my daughter ..plus my ex was abusive but wont get into to all that !! Anyway my son is now 9 months old and I know that he is happy and well taken care of and most of all he is in a safe home with a father who wont blow up at the littlest thing...
Anyway I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers !! God bless !!
jess
Hi,
My little girl is 5. She was adopted by my cousin and his wife, which has been wonderful for me. I see her at all family function type things, and a few visits a year besides.
If I can help in any way, let me know. Everyone has a different way of grieving, and everyone has a different situation, but I will happily share with you my experience.
email me at alyceahuebsch@hotmail.com
from all of the research i have done, my advice to you is you must get "proper" counseling. If you are working with an adoption agency, they should provide it (ask for how long it will be offered to you for) If you are doing a private adoption, ask that the adoptive parents pay for your counseling for as long as you need. You may only use one session or you may need therapy for two years. IT SHOULD BE OFFERED TO YOU. Good luck to you. You are a brave woman
hey everyone as an updateeverything is good, the adoption went wonderfully and i get emails every week from amom and adad. The babys name is Amanda and she was born august 5th 2005. I am doing well and going to school in the fall. oh guys, i am so happy, this adoption has felt so meant to be and her parents are a-freakin-mazing!! zach and i are no longer together but even that came about in a very natural normal way. i just wanted to say that i love adoption and i wish you all the best of luvk annie
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This is a life long decision, you are making for your child and you...I am a birth mother, and i can almost tell you how many hours it has been since i last saw my child..It has been 19 years,and 13 days and 17 hours...Think very long about this..I have kept a journal for her, think some day how you might feel if you and zack make it, and you go onto parent great children together...It is a very hard decision, one i no longer support..
I wish you much luck, and i'll pray for you...and your baby..
Cravalynn
So for a further update, Zach and I broke up in 2007 and he is now in prison and we are getting a divorce! :) I am doing wonderfully and tomorrow I get to have a visit with my bdaughter and her adoptive family! I am excited and nervous, I havent seen her since she was 4 months old! Wish me luck!
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