Need Help!!!!

youngmom,I agree with you that your boyfriend should be there with you when she finds out to help and support you. He should go with you and help you tell her that you're pregnant and own up to this responsibility in front of your mother and not cower or be afraid of your mother. Now that being said, you can't make him be there or support you, if he's too scared to be there for you. As for telling your mom that you're 3 mos + pregnant and worried about what she's going to do when she finds out. My thoughts on this is that it's normal for you to be afraid and nervous - I mean I was freaked out when I had to tell my parents especially my own mom the second time that I found out I was pregnant, but it had to be done as you said you feel that your mom has to be told and it has to be done. I know this is easier said than done, but I would try not to worry about what she's going to do when you tell her you're pregnant, but the other thought that would perhaps worry me more is what she might do or how she might feel if she finds out about you're being pregnant on accident from someone else or something and not from you. I think the best thing is for your mom to find out about you being pregnant from you telling her yourself with or without your boyfriend there to support you. Chances are that your mom already knows to an extent and has a feeling/idea that you are pregnant, but is waiting for you to be honest with her. I know, for me, both times I found out I was pregnant and told my mom, she already had a feeling that I would be telling her those news and after we talked about the reality and cried over things - she calmed down. She helped and supported me through both pregnancies and making my choice between parenting or adoption and was supportive of whatever I chose. I end up placing both my girls for adoption, but because I chose to and because my parents were there to help and support me so maybe your mom won't freak out. Of course, your mom may freak out too, but you do need to sit down and talk to her truthfully about the situation as soon as possible before she finds out on her own by accident or from someone else because her finding out that way will most likely have even more negative effects on you and the situation then if you sit down and tell her yourself. I know it's not an easy thing to have to do, but I'll be praying for you that things will work out for you with your mom and this whole situation. God Bless, Anne :)

This is one of those times where you need to step up, weigh your priorities and do the adult thing. Adult things are rarely fun and frequently hard. You simply need to tell her that you are now pregnant and you need support. If she is not willing to continue paying for school, I would suggest taking some time off (as pregnancy can really drain your school work as it is). Once you have the baby you will be elligible for more financial aid and may not need her financial support to further your education.Have you been to the doctor yet? That is the most important part at this point.Prioritize:1. Baby's health.2. Your health.3. Relationship with your Mother.4. EducationIs how I would put my priorities at this point. You may do them differently but you need to sit down and work out what matters most to you in your life. *hugs* You can make it through this.

I can't offer any better advice than you have already received. I remember talking to mom recently about what she would have done if I had become pregnant early in life. It ended up being a really good conversation. However, I am 28 and married now so I am sure the conversation would have been much different had it actually happened. I can say that I am very impressed tha you and your boyfriend have been together so long. That show that there is love and commitment in you relationship. I can only imagine how hard and scary this is for you right now. Bt hopefully with such a long relationship you will be alble to work it together and decide what is the best option for both of you. He may be scared right now but let him know how much you need him more than ever. Like someone already said, you can't force him but you can explain what you need. Good luck and you will be in my prayers.Timbohopeful adoptive mom

schmennaLeigh,thank you for your advise and your right this is one of those times when i need to step up. And yes I have been to the doctors i'm actually excited about my baby i like to listen to his or her heart beat with my stethoscope. it's the most beautiful i think i'll ever hear. school wise I only have about Two months left till i'll be certified as a medical assistent so quiting isn't really one of my options as of now. but my babys health is always first as well as mine. As for the relationship with my mother, well i just hope that when i tell her she could still be there for me how ever mad she maybe. and that we could countainue to be as close as we are now. thank you very much once again you really helped me out. youngemom

Can't really add to the advice you've been given and certainly agree you should be honest. Once that is out of the way you be able to concentrate on what's more important which is the health of your baby and yourself. I do understand exactly what you are going through as I was 19 when I was pregnant but unlike you I didn't have support. You need to think about what is important and good luck! Hugs, Pip :)

This well sounde silly but my mother is crazy no other way to put it... soo they way I did it was I called her weth my little girls father sitting with me... My mom would have hit him and or me and this was the savest way to tell her... Try that 1st if she doesn't want to talk to you anymore let me tell you mine l;ife has been sooooo much more peaceful with out mine... don't worry about school if you ar keeping the baby then the state will pay for it... SOOOOO don't let her hold that over you... and good luck!!!!!!

Do you have another adult in your life who would act as a mediator between you and your mother? Someone both you and your mother trust and respect like an Aunt or family friend or member of the church. Someone who will be able to calm your mother down and help her get over the anger and focus on the reality of the situation. You might be less scared if you can come up with a backup plan in case things go very badly. What I mean is have a bag ready and a place to go to if she does totally freak and throws you out or something. I find that when I'm prepared for any reaction I am less scared to do something. KWIM? Keep in mind that her anger with your pregnancy (if she is angry,sometimes people surprise you) isn't really about you. It's about the dreams and expectations she had for you. A pregnancy at 19 did not fit into the life she had hoped for you but hat doesn't mean that it is a terrible thing. I'm just trying to let you know that you shouldn't internalize her reaction too much. Don't let her reaction to your pregnancy cloud your own feelings about it.

Thank you all very much for your advice. I feel much better and more confident to let my mom know. I plann to let her know right after my doctors appointment. I figuer if she see an altrasound pictur of my baby she wont be as upset and reality might hit her faster then just me letting her know. and thank you for that advice of having a bag ready and a place to stay if she decides to kick me out. I think i might have to do that she might go really crazy when she finds out the whole thing about the period. By the way anyone have any advice on how to explain that whole period thing to my mother. Cause every time she asks if i got it for the month i get scared and tell her i have. Thank You all once again......Youngemom:D

Well, some women DO get their period while they're pregnant. Or spot. Not saying you should lie, but if you feel that you need to, well you have to do what is right for you.

About the period thing- I don't advocate lying (it just always creates a bigger pile of poop for me LOL I can't keep it straight) Just try being honest and saying something like "I was just in shock or denial, it didn't seem real to me until I saw the ultrasound" My brother and his girlfriend waited until she was 5 mos (and showing like a straw swallowed a watermelon :) )to tell my family, for fear of their little Southern Baptist selves falling out dead in the floor. Suddenly my mom went from super charged abstinence to "oh I hope she has red hair and freckles" LOL It was quite a hoot. She cried at first (we all thought she'd throw him out and come unglued) for her "lost dreams of his future" (as she put it). Here's my big advice: If you have a trusted aunt (or someone that knows how to work your mom) take that person along. Killers rarely kill in front of witnesses :P And take a sweet gift like a "I love Grandma" onesie on a baby doll. Just like in theatre, props help set the stage. It might help her focus if she's holding the baby doll. cry a lot if she likes tears. Then finish it up with asking her to look at baby furniture with you, or leave a baby name book there for her to look at. These things worked with my mom, and people used to call her Cruella Deville LOL. Just keep your chin up, and give it time for her emotions to ride the roller coaster before you take any of it to your heart. You've had 4 months to deal with this and you're still anxious, imagine what she'll feel like having it sprung on her out of the blue. And oh yeah, don't be surprised if she says "well, I've been wondering. You're showing you know, and eating like a pig. Do you think I'm stupid? And don't lie to me anymore, it hurts". Because my mom did to my brother's girl. Moms are stupid, even though sometimes we act like it. Good luck!

LOL I can't believe I typed that...EDITING: "Moms aren't (are not, definitely are not LOL) stupid, even though sometimes we act like it." It's what I get for trying to type while my girls are listening to music in here, and my hubby is pounding nails right outside the window. Sigh..

youngemom, I agree with everyone. SchmennaLeigh's comment really hit home for me, prioritize! The most important thing right now is the health of you and your baby. I was 18 when I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant with my son. It was a scary thing to do but it was a huge relief once the "secret" was out. I was able to focus on the little life growing inside of me. Hold your chin up high and know that you are of high value! When I had to tell my parents I was pregnant again, it was really hard. I did not want to disappoint them but I have learned that parents are much stronger, understanding and forgiving then we give them credit for. That does not always mean that they support us 100 percent but in telling them we are letting them know that we love them enough to trust them with what we are going through. We all makes choices in life, what we do with the consequences of our choices are what makes us the people we become.