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A friend of mine is interested in adopting from Ukraine. I told her Ukraine was not accepting dossiers for infants and toddlers right now--only siblings of adopted children, special needs children and older children (over 11?).
She said her agency told her to say that she was willing to adopt an older child or special needs child and then to just turn down all referrals until she was referrd a healthy infant.
This sounds like a very dodgy agency to me. Any input?
That sounds dodgy to me too. I doubt things would work that way, but I am sure that agencies are going to try everything they can to continue adoptions in Ukraine. If things don't change soon, I think we'll be hearing more and more stories like this.
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Adoption is too emotional and expensive to set out on a "scam" and hope it works. Until you've been there, you just can't comprehend the level of emotional taxation the process puts on individuals and on marriages.
There is no such thing as a "sure thing" in regards to adoption, especially foreign adoption. However, your chances for a great experience are dramatically improved if you start out with a country that is open at the time.
If your friend is set on Ukraine, I would try to persuade her to simply wait until they reopen for non-specific adoptions. Waiting before you start is much easier than being caught up in the middle of an adoption that isn't going anywhere. She could also be looking at spending a lot more money doing it the way the agency suggested, with more trips to Ukraine, and longer stays once there. They could also get 'black-listed' for turning down too many referrals.
JMHO
Thanks to you both. It just didn't sound right to me...I've passed on your messages and am still trying to convince her that this is not the way to go.