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Hello, I'm Courtney, 22yo, and 10 weeks pregnant(unplanned). I really don't know what to do about this. I could use someone to talk to. Just someone to listen to me and support me with what is going on. I need a friend. :confused:
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Hi Courtney,
Your head is probably spinning right now. I wish I could be there to help you as you get a handle on things.
How are you feeling? Any nausea?
Though you are probably feeling very overwhelmed try to take a few cleaning breaths and try to remember that thousands of women have babies everyday. Some are married, some are not, some are ready to parent and some are not.
You can find just about any type of support that you can imagine on this forum.
There will be many people with lots of opinions just try to remember that this is your life and YOU can decide what options are best for you.
Have you told the babies father that you are pregnant?
Sometimes women feel very lost without the support of their family or friends.
You dont need to go through this alone҅there are many of us willing to give you support regardless of what you decide you need to do.
I will send you my e-mail via a Private Message.
Hugs,
Maria
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Hello Courtney, and welcome!
I hope that you find a lot of support and information here on the forums. I myself am an adoptee and an adoptive mom, so I haven't been in your shoes personally, but there are plenty of women here who have and who will gladly share their experiences and wisdom with you. I hope that it will be of help to you as you go through this pregnancy and beyond.
Please know that it is not allowed for any prospective adoptive parent to contact you on these forums, even by private message (PM) in order to solicit you - to say "I'd be interested in adopting your baby." If you do get contacted in such a manner, please let a forums moderator know so we can take care of it. The moderators are myself, Kiwi, Crick, Jensboys, BrandyHagz and Support2Adopt. We want these forums to be a safe place for all members of the adoption community, and where expectant parents can find support in whatever decision they choose to make about parenting their child.
I wish you peace and strength -
Heather
aka MrsSmith, Forums Moderator
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Hello Courtney
I can imagine this is a pretty stressful time for you right now. How about starting off by telling us a little bit about yourself and what you are most concerned or worried about at this time to give us somethign to go and to be able to support you the best way we know how.
Many of us here have been in your shoes and you will find a lot of support no matter what decisions you make or what information you might need help in getting.
I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.
hugs,
Donna
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hi. i'm 22 as well and just found out i'm pregnant. i still have graduate school ahead of me, and i'm terrified. by bf has been supportive, but i know i can't depend on him and i'll end up raising this kid on my own. i don't know what you plan on doing, but i really need a friend too. i'd love to talk to you, if you wanna e-mail me or anything. my e-mail is carheba@yahoo.com
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Hi monkie.
I'm really sorry you are going through this. It is best to start a new thread all for yourself. That way people will see it is new and not additional to the old one and respond to you quicker.
This is not an easy thing to do for you and I'm sure your will get a lot of guidance here on this forum. Good luck to you, sweetie.
Donna P
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[font=Verdana]Dear Courtney22,[/font]
[font=Verdana]My wish for you is that your parents will support you in whatever decision that you make about your child. Last January my 22-year daughter was where you are now. We are now blessed with a 3-month old grandson. She has another year of school so is living with me and her Dad. She works part-time to buy formula, diapers, and clothing.[font=Verdana] [/font]Much to her surprise, she is an incredible Mom. All first time parents-to-be are scared![/font]
[font=Verdana]Honestly, when she told us that she was pregnant, her Dad and I were so stunned that we were speechless (hey, at least we couldn't yell!). After the getting over the shock, we realized that our daughter needed our love more than ever. We helped her work through adoption vs parenting.[/font]
[font=Verdana]So how did we get to where we are now? Tons of support and help from friends!! I talked to every single parent who I know.[/font][font=Verdana]Dont let anyone soft-sell the hardship of raising a child alone or the very intense pain that you will feel if you separate from your child. A lot of people will offer advice Җ most of it will not be in your interest.[/font]
[font=Verdana]If you want to parent, start looking for resources (social services, family members) to keep your baby. Beware of well meaning friends who offer to help few will come through. My gut instinct was that my daughter would love her son and would never be able to part with him. We advised her to not consider adoption until after he was born and she had tried parenting. We just could not put a potential adoptive family through the pain of bonding and then loss. As is was, she fell in love with her son immediately and made it clear that she would fight anyone who tried to ֓take him away from her. At the same time, we made it clear to her that was our job to help her but that her son was her responsibility. We help if asked (and sometimes say no) and donԒt do nights unless she is sick. I planned to take 2 weeks off work but only needed 2 days she did great. Okay ֖ hes a good baby Җ not all are.[/font]
[font=Verdana]Do you understand the realities of adoption? My daughter had an adoption fantasy where she would find a wonderful couple to be caretakers for her baby and she would drop by weekly for lunch to be Mom. We had to explain that an open adoption probably would come down to a few pictures a few times a year. Im not saying that is wrong! Just that a lot of young girls believe all of the romanticized crap that they see on TV about adoption and do not understand that the reality is that once they sign the papers, they have no legal access to their child.[/font]
[font=Verdana]Recognize that you are vulnerable and try to protect yourself. Once our daughter decided to try to parent we were very careful about pressures from outsiders. We screened our daughterҒs medical practice to assure that they did not consider themselves amateur baby brokers and warned her to be careful of the hospital social workers. Had she decided to choose adoption, we would have been equally protective of people who derided her for that decision.[/font]
[font=Verdana]Do not let anyone label you as an un-wed or single mother. You are a mother period. There is no moral edge to adoption for your child ֖ adoptive parents divorce too and end up as single parents. Also, do not let anyone label you a birthmotherӔ if you have an inclination to parent. You are a mother until you sign the papers. Frankly, when we were researching adoption, my daughter felt that the Dear BirthmotherӔ letters were repulsive in their presumption and refused to read any that addressed her in that way.[/font]
[font=Verdana]We have family members who chose adoption, are adoptive parents, are adoptees, and decided to raise their children after an unplanned pregnancy. Those who faired best seemed to understand the realities and got help dealing with them.[/font]
[font=Verdana]Believe me the numbness wears off and you will be able to make a good decision ֖ just dont let anyone rush you. I suspected for 2 months that my daughter was pregnant before she admitted it to me. It was such a relief to finally be able to hold her and tell that I love her and would be there to help her decide what was best for her. Her dad was a little ғbehind the curve but came through in the end.[/font]
[font=Verdana]With our prayers,[/font]
[font=Verdana]Happy GԒma[/font]
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Hey Courtney,
I am about 15 weeks pregnant and would love to talk to you about your worries, fears, ect. I have had most of the feelings you are going through because I am expereincing an unplanned pregnancy. Please email me anytime, Kwliving4him@hotmail.com I would love to talk to you. Know one thing. Every child is a gift from God and even though this was unplanned, God knew and has a plan for it to work out. I love you and am praying.
Kristi
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Courtney,
We haven't heard from you and I was just wondering how you were. Please let us know that you're ok and how you're feeling!
Hugs to you,
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Hi Courtney ..... I hope this post finds your well.
I would suggest that you think about your options before making any decision.
I am a true beliver that everything happens for a reason .... God will not give you more than you cannot handle.
If you are looking for someone to just listen .... please feel free to email me .... I am a good listener, promise!
momdad2bee@yahoo.com.
Good Luck Courtney and God Bless!
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u can talk to me i might be yunger then u but i just found out i am pregnet and 8 weeks and im only 16 so u can talk to me if u want e-mail me anytime sassy_princess_14@yahoo.com or u can also if u have yahoo messenger im me and i will get back to u. i wish u the best of luck. Cassi16
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hello sweet heart, i am here if you want to talk, i also experienced an unplanned pregnancy.......
leave me a message or mail me..... i am a teen mother dont know how much we will have in common but feel free to talk to me. eisenbach0405@yahoo.com
tonyia
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