Just Curious

Maureen, I posted in your transracial thread but I probably should have posted my response here. Kelli __________________

We used a facilitator and waited almost two weeks for a match. ALthough we had inquiries w/in four days. [font=Comic Sans MS]"We went into it believing we would have a semi-open arrangement to begin with, however, my daughter's bmom has never responded to any of our letters, pictures, etc. It's been almost 4 years."[/font][font=Comic Sans MS][/font] [font=Arial]Our DD's bmom hasn't had any contact with us since the first month or so after placement. I continue to send letters and photos. tho. DD is 10 months old this week.[/font]

Of the seven adoptions......four have been babies. Two have been international.......two have been domestic. Totally...the longest wait we had was something like a year. The shortest, was three months (our first baby)..though we had to wait several more months before we got to bring her home to Japan. And in each case, we used an agency. Facilitation is illegal in our state; but other than that, we would not choose to use a facilitation service either. And...in each of our four baby adoptions.....the baby was already born before we were chosen. The youngest baby was only one day old; one baby was just shy of one month of age; and two were each 7.5 months of age. Good luck in your search. :) Sincerely, Linny

we used a facilitator to find dd, but our agency did present us with a couple of situations, including a set of twins :eek: . from homestudy completion to match with pbmom, a bit more than 4 weeks (during which we were presented with other situations and passed on them), dd was born two days later. bmom originally thought she wanted just letters and pictures, channeled thru the agency. we said we'd love something more open if they felt comfortable, gave them all our info.At first I think they thought we were crazy, wanting her bfamily to remain part of our family, but after dd's birth, everything was open. we send photos and letters about every 3-4 weeks now, and call about every couple of months. we just saw them in june/july for a week, so I would classify ours as very open. postscript: as AA parents requesting an AA child, we were rather "popular" and had to turn down a few during those 4 weeks. we were waiting for the match that fit our schedule (i had to have grades turned in) and a match that we could both embrace without reservation.

Fiona we used an agency. Had a potential match before we even finished our paper work--she changed her mind as we were driving to the hospital so we never saw baby. once we were offical we waited 2 months. It was meant to be open, but we never even met bmom, she chose us from "the book" left hospital before we got there and never called to set up a meeting. I continue to send pictures and letter, but never get a response. (hope one day to meet her) J ( is foster-adopt) our neighbor suggested him to us before he was born, their dd is his half sister, we used an agency to get our paperwork and ceritifacation I really don't think we will have any contact with her after it is finalized, I still need to talk to CW and see if I should offer to send her pictures, that is the only thing she seemed to care about anyways. very sad story

When adopting did you use a Facilitator or an agency? With our daughter, we used an agency. For our next adoption (#3), we've decided to work with a local facilitator. How long was your wait to be matched with pbmom? With our daughter, we were contacted by an agency with whom we had not signed a contract but had talked many times with a case worker there. We received the call on the day of our last homestudy appointment. A baby girl had been born and needed a family, and the birthmother was having the agency choose the family for her child. We accepted the match the next day and nine days later she was home with us. So, technically, we did not wait for a match. Is your adoption Open/Semi-open/closed? Our daughter's adoption is closed per her birthmother's request.

When adopting did you use a Facilitator or an agency? AGENCY How long was your wait to be matched with pbmom? OUR BABY WAS BROUGHT HOME WITHIN 2 WEEKS OF SIGNING WITH AGENCY. SHE WAS A "DROP IN" (F was in labor when she decided to not parent) SO WE FLEW RIGHT OUT AND GOT HER FROM THE HOSPITAL. Is your adoption Open/Semi-open/closed? SEMI OPEN< BUT BMOM REFUSES ALL LETTERS AND PICS.

When adopting did you use a Facilitator or an agency? Agency Agency Attorney Attorney How long was your wait to be matched with pbmom? Two months Nine months Matched before we started looking Two months Is your adoption Open/Semi-open/closed? Closed Semi/open but really closed Open Open but Birth mom dropped out of sight lisa

When adopting did you use a Facilitator or an agency? Agency How long was your wait to be matched with pbmom? No wait. Baby was waiting when our homestudy conversion was completed. Formal appplication submitted end of February. Took placement first week in June of 3 week old baby girl. We missed out on a couple of situations because our homestudy was not transferred to the new agency in a timely manner. Is your adoption Open/Semi-open/closed? Semi-open

1st time (1997), I went through an agency. I started the homestudy in October 1997: completed it in January 98. Brought home baby girl in September. So it was about 9 months. It's a closed adoption 2nd time (2005), I went through the county. I started the homestudy in June. I completed in July 29th. I brought the baby home 8/3/05. I have met the birthparents. I'm not sure how open we will be after the adoption.