Adoption Book Review

"Not Remembered, Never Forgotten" - An Adoptee's Search for his Birthfamily by Robert Hafetz Although I am a member of the Adoption Triad - birth parents/adoptee/adoptive parents - the meaning behind this book's title, "Not Remembered, Never Forgotten," was not immediately clear to me. Being a birth mother, I of course, got the overall gist of it, but was intrigued and read on to learn more. More about an adoptee's experience after their relinquishment at birth. Not to mention, how rare it is to hear from the other half; the male faction. Once I began reading, my understanding came quickly. Bob swiftly and effectively drives home its meaning in the first few pages. He also describes how, during his search, he becomes family of circumstance when meeting other Triad members. How his search is only able to progress because of the kindness and commitment of others, sometimes, even strangers, all willing to help. Every word, every emotion and every sentiment in this book comes straight from his heart. There is no beating-around-the-bush here. This search [for his birth mother] has taken on a life of its own, writes Bob. No truer words were ever written. His statement describes perfectly the desire, the need and the urgency that invades your mind and your soul while searching for a lost loved one. Whether you have been touched by adoption or not, this book will make you understand what it is like to live your life not knowing who you are or from where you came, as well as how finding your roots can literally save your life. It's ending, though bittersweet, will warm your heart and make you smile, especially when you read about a very special monkey. "I know that I have no memory of my mother's face, her voice, her touch and that I don't know anything about her. I would later discover that I was wrong. It is true that I could not remember, but it was also true that I could not forget." I hope Bob's words leave you with a true sense of how it is to be "Not Remembered, Never Forgotten." Review by Susan Mello Souza Author of The Same Smile