Hair crisis HELP!!!

it's okay to laugh, just don't tell dd. I took the photo to document all the hair and to send to bfamily (the curses are silent). normally her hair is in two braids to sleep. when we wake up I comb it all out (as you can see), moisturize it, then we do one or two pony tails, sometimes one or two braids with accessories. I can do this rather quickly, in about 5 minutes, but I prefer to take ten minutes. so all those wishing their daughter had tons of hair, we can trade kids. Such a joke-I cut mine off because i hate doing hair. I hate doing anyone's hair, any type, any texture. so I get a kid with a ton of hair-ugh. do you have any idea what it takes to maintain an afro? always picking and patting trying to maintain the perfect shape-took too much effort for me as a kid, but my older sister loved having a large floppy one. btw, i just bought a pair of professional shears and trimmed dd's hair. I knew it would be at least two weeks before we could get to a hairdresser, so I did it myself. looks okay, but we'll see tomorrow when I comb it out. I think every ethnic group wrestles with their hair. If you have curls you hate it, straight hair hate it, and so on. containing hair is always a problem. Mine seemed to have a mind of its own, so I won and cut it all off :cheer: . Had to show it who's boss :D. Guys have it soooo easy...

Okay...not to over-take this thread....but I have a delimma here...and could use some other helpful advice? Our 'next to the youngest' has tons of hair (not as much as your daughter, Lisa...which IS a lot of hair!! :) ). Her hair is very coarse, very curly, very thick, long, etc. Pretty easy to deal with and for the most part, I keep it in 'pig tails' or twists or sometimes 'band it' along the sides. (You get the picture...) But.....our youngest baby...has never had this luxury of hair. She came to us as a little bit older baby; and we strongly suspect that someone cut her hair early on. :( Combine this with the fact that her hair is thin, not nearly as curly, and grows at a snail's pace. It WAS do-able...and though not nearly as easy to work with when doing 'bands' and such.....poor baby wanted her hair to have the barrettes and pretties that her sister had. :( A few days ago, the older baby (now 4yrs old), decided to do the 'let's pretend I can cut hair routine' within the split second I was on the phone with a super-important call. Sadly, the swatch of hair that dd cut from baby daughter's hair (now 2yrs old)....was right in the middle of where a 'pigtail' would be!!!!!! :( I literally cried I was soo upset, because I know that baby daughter loves to have her hair done like her sister's is done....yet, one side can look ever-so-smaller than the other!!!!! It has taken more than a year for dd's hair to grow the little bit it is. It' drier (regardless of the great biosilk I use on her hair, and always have had great success with)...enough that the pediatrician has agreed to conduct a thyroid test on her within the next week. In the meantime, anyone have any suggestions with how I can deal with this---short of buying a can of "RONCO---spray on hair"??? LOL Thanks ahead of time........ Sincerely, Linny

she's probably too young for a weave ;) . I have to say my older sister cut her own pigtail off when she was a wee one-mom cried too. If dd did it, I'd cry as well (though they might be tears of joy since I'd have to cut the other side ;) -I'm waiting for the words "mom, can I have short hair like you?"). she may need monthly intensive hair treatments (deep conditioning under a hair dryer or just with a plastic covering and natural body heat for 30 minutes or so). Since all black hair is so radically different, try a new shampoo +/or conditioner. some folks just have the slow hair growth gene, but I'm glad the doc is checking it out. my little sister had tremendously long hair, very different texture than mine. Mine grew slowly, or so it seemed. now that I've cut it off, it grows by leaps and bounds-my hair was just too fragile and broke off. Maybe your youngest just needs less hair doodles and more of an afro, just to give the hair a chance to grow. We've had great success with the carol's daughter's products-maybe they'll help your daughter. They keep her hair from drying out here in Los angeles, where the humidity is often so low (like 13% recently-ick). I've seen babies with very short hair (I'm envious) and many look like their brothers and sisters, with very short hair naturally. Do you know anything about your youngest's bfamily? If you have seen them or have pictures that might tell you if it's genetic. The pictures of dd's bfamily (mom and dad's families) show the longest hair :eek: . now I know what to look for with match number two ;) . good luck, lisa

Dd has so litle hair that we do a sweep around the bang and sides and let it fro in the back. She has enough in the back to do a little flip at the collar. 2 minutes (with the aid of hair balm) and we're out the door! No complaints here. It'll grow in soon enough - hopefully not until I learn to cornrow properly!

Oh Linny, what a bummer. It happened to 2 of my daughters a separate times and was so hard to figure out what to do. Could you do something special like paint her nails really pretty or something just for her?? You're a great mom, I'm sure everything will be ok. Addy is so full of mischief - I'm sure a self-inflicted haircut is probably in her future as well :o Martha

Linny - The first thing to remember is that your baby girl will not give a rip if one ponytail is shorter than the other. She cares if she's got cool stuff in her hair. Have you ever let your kids do YOUR hair? Think about what it looks like then, and how bee-yoo-tee-ful they think it is. She's going to feel however you feel about it. In terms of the short term problem, I say leave it alone and keep doing what you were doing before the older one took up cosmetology. Not being in the same position as you, I can jump on my feminist soapbox for a minute: Remember that you are the one who has all of the pre-programmed ideals of what beauty is. If you continually freak out about it and don't let her do her hair the way she wants (which was OK 24 hours ago), she's going to get a confusing lesson in beauty and self-worth. Yes, she's only 2, and she won't remember the incident when she's 30, but you (probably) don't want to lay the groundwork for the sexist ideology any sooner than necessary. Turn it into something you can laugh about and just let it go. Basically, it's out of your control. Maybe you can even have fun with it and do some "punky" styles...something her sister CAN'T do, with that lame old same-length hair ;)

Jacko, You are funny; sounds like a great idea.

jacko, your post made me flash to those hairstyles magazines, the ones that show the styles for competition-very extreme! you're right of course. Their idea of beauty is pretty far out-the more hair thingies and she'll be happy!

OMG Lisa!!!! That is a LOT of hair!!!!!Holy moly!!!! (pause while I stop chuckling at the photo...) Ok, seriously, I've been following this thread for a while as I decided a couple months ago that although I've always said I only want boys, that I'd happily adopt a daughter, too.That said, I'm quite aware there are a lot more boys available in my age range (0-3) than girls, so my chances are quite slim. I had a sib set of 3 that I fostered twice last year (2 weeks each time) that had two girls - and boy I earned every cent of that foster care stipend doing that girl's hair!!!She's Native and AA, with lots of curls but not overly tight ones. Beautiful, beautiful, girl. But bmom had put in 10-15 little pony tails all over her head - then left them in for 2 weeks! When I gave her a bath and tried to pull them out, it started to pull out all the hair with it. So I washed it with them in and brought her to my fantastic daycare mom the next morning and said, "Help!" She does GREAT hair - CC or AA - we have a great racial mix at our daycare - and I knew she'd know what to do.When I picked her up after school (work), she'd washed and conditioned her hair and set it in two nice puffs. She said they had to use a knife and gently saw at the rubber bands as they'd started to deteriorate in her hair. She said the ponies were sticky and covered with a grayish fuzz from being in so long. Then she showed me how to do her hair and gave me some spray to use daily on her hair.Ok, it didn't look as great when I did it - but it really looked healthy. I ran into some of bmom's friends and family during those 2 weeks, and got many, many compliments on not only how nice her hair looked - but also that they'd never seen it look so healthy before! (sniff, sniff, it was nice to hear but soooooo sad at the same time) So anyway........back to this thread..........now I've been reading your posts and looking at your photos and thinking............EEEEEEK!!! I think I spoke too soon. There is just no way I can do cool hair like that! This is why I have boys!!!! But then there are days........when I really want a daughter. That and I want to end up in a good nursing home when I get old ;) and know from personal experience that boys are no good at that sort of thing. :rolleyes: Seriously, seriously, I would like a girl. But after reading your posts and seeing your photos, I'm hoping she has some sort of straight hair or really loose curls.........or I'll have to sign up for daycare every day so my girl can look good!!!! :evilgrin: Sandy

Believe me.....although I tend to be a consevative.......I'm really aware of what to make of all of this as far as not 'making a big deal about it to her'. Sadly, she'll feel her hair and say, " (Our dd's name......cut my hair!") I'll say, 'Yes, I know......" I'm really more concerned, I guess, that it just doesn't seem to grow. I'll know more in a couple of weeks---after the blood test; and I guess I just feel badly that 'there's surely something I should be doing to make it all look better? And.....not only is there a swath of hair that's 'mowed away' in the middle of the pigtail....but the back of her hair is just barely there at all. If I leave it natural, it's like there is just sort of a ridge from one ear to the other. Like many of you have already said though, it really doesn't matter to her, and in the long run, it may be the only time her hair might look 'ultra punk'? LOL Thanks..... Sincerely, Linny

dd has this bald spot in the back of her head too. Larger than a quarter, it's right in the middle of her two ponytails. we just "ignore" it :D . I'd try a satin pillowcase if she's using a pillow now, which will prevent breakage. Also, don't send her bed with bands in her hair (if you do). that will also cause breakage. I hear also that a scalp massage will do wonders, just massaging jojoba oil or some other natural oil into her scalp. If you visit a black hair care store, they'll have some deep conditioners that you might try. once or twice a week might stimulate growth. When dd wakes up, I'll check and see if her hair books have any tips.

Hi! I have 5 daughters, 4 are aa, and they ALL have different types of hair...thick/wavy, thin/curly, thick/ kinky curls, thick/spiral curls. One of the cutest styles we do is using fabric tule for headbands, and bows on ponytails. It comes in a large variety of colors, averages about $1.00 a yard, is soft on babies scalps and soooo easy to do! Just measure around your daughters head, add 2/3 of the original measurement to allow for loops, and allow about 3-4 inches in width. Then tie it around her head in a bow, cutting the tails to be the same length as the loops, about 2 inches long. Then spread the loops out and you have a headband with a beautiful rosette...one that is soft on her head, can be put back on very easily when she pulls it off and that can be used over and over again. The same concept goes for ponytails, just smaller lengths. Everytime one of my daughters has worn her hair this way I get asked how to make them. Good luck! Kathi RHFM

Linny, Hair growth rate, like so many things, I think is just a fluke. I have unusually fast growing hair, always have; it grows about 1-3 inches every 30 days, as evidence: my red length and always gray roots. :D My sister, on the other hand, has very slow growing hair, always has, of about 2 inches per year. We use similar products and have a similar healthy diet. My dd, like many/some babes, lost virtually all of her hair as a baby. It began growing back around 7-8 months but was quite sparse. At three, I see many girls with hair longer than hers but very few with hair as thick as hers. Evening massage was something we did; don't know if it made a difference, and I did it because she liked it not to get her hair to grow. We washed once a week with California Baby (as a babe now we use Aveda on her like we do ourselves), followed by leave in conditioner and oil in the am. We began using jojoba then moved to BB Apricot oil then finally to grapeseed; we now alternate apricot and grapeseed. Each night I would take her hair down and massage scalp and hair. It will grow. Here are several photos of my dd's hair growth process. I will remove them in a day.

red, great pictures-I love her eyes and her smile. I have two books, "it's all good hair" and "kinki Kreations". I checked both for info on how to treat infant hair, suggestions on treatments, etc. From "it's all good hair": "How fast does my child's hair grow?- Most children's hair grows one-quarter to one-half inch a month. However, some children's hair may grow faster than other children's hair." Why won't my child's hair grow?- Your child's hair is growing, unless he or she has a medical problem (see chapter 10, "hair problems"). However, your child's hair may not be growing as long as he or she may like. Brushing, combing, and blow-drying all may take a toll on your child's hair and may be causing the hair to break before it can grow longer. When you style your child's hair, consider parting the hair with your fingers or with a hair clip shown in the picture below. You may also consider twisting or locking your child's hair. Twists can be worn for two weeks at a time, while locking is permanent. When you twist and lock hair, you reduce the time needed to style it. When you don't do anything to your child's hair, it can grow undisturbed. Don't believe the hype about products that claim they will grow hair. You've seen the magazine ads featuring before-and-after pictures, the former showing short, damaged hair; the latter showing long, flowing hair. Doctors and stylists say that no product will make your child's hair grow. Invest your time and money in good habits and styling products." pp. 16-18. Kinki Kreations "After a few months, the baby's hair texture will begin to change. This is a normal process. Don't force the hair to do what you want it to do. Allow the hair to grow in naturally. Some babies' hair grows faster. (Our hair's growth rate is determined by our genes.) Be patient. Often a baby's hair will grow on top while remaining thin on the sides and back of the scalp. This is normal. Baby's neck muscles are sitll developing and the baby's hair on both sides rubs off on bed linen and clothes. Eventually your baby's hair will grow in all over." pg 24. further on, she mentions children cutting her hair: "My daughter cut her hair and it seems almost impossible to cover the spot. What should I do?-Don't panic. It's only hair. It will grow back." pg. 106. not much help probably (lol). I think the consensus (these two books) is that if she's healthy, then that's just her hair's growth. They also suggest massaging with light oils and your fingertips, deep conditioning (conditioner sitting on hair for 5 minutes-cover hair with plastic hair cap). They also suggest combing with a wide tooth comb and a boar bristle brush.

Thanks to all of you. SO many times I've thought to check out the book "it's all good hair'...and just haven't! Red: Your babies are gorgeous (your little boy is in the one)....and your little girl and my older daughter are very similar in hair! :) Thanks again to all of you...... Sincerely, Linny