Thumbsucking question??

I know it could really be obnoxious to you to see this continue; but if she's being soothed by the thumbsucking, I'd let it continue. I have a saying that isn't always too popular....but I believe it to be true: "I'd rather have a crooked toothed, well-adjusted child and adult..... Than a straight-toothed, neurotic child and adult." :) My point is that as long as this child is finding some sort of comfort in the thumbsucking----other than the braces in years to come---what's the worst thing that could happen? I know it can be annoying.......I know you might have to listen to others tell you that you're not 'doing enough to make the child stop'.....but in the scheme of things.....it really, probably will go away at some point...but is serving a good purpose for now. JMO.... Sincerely, Linny

I agree that some habits are beneficial and there should be a compelling reason to urge the child to stop, especially those that have had a lot of change in their short lives. Our 5 year old son has a habit of sucking his lower lip. He lost a tooth in a fall before he became part of our family, and now he sucks his lip in to fill that spot. He does it all the time (except when he is sleeping actually).We have been trying to get him to stop, because his lip is puffy and has a sore on it, using a reward-type system. We fill a cup with a number of pennies each week, and each time we catch him with his lip in his mouth, he loses a penny. BUT, if we catch him with his lip out, he gets a penny. He gets to keep all the pennies left each week, and spend them on whatever he wants, then we start over again.That way, he gets a reminder of how he has progressed, and he has an incentive to stop.

You might try to find "substitute" habit or object that she could use to sooth herself. Even at nine, with a kid who has been through alot, maybe a "lovey" type stuffed animal or blanket that she picks out. Maybe even a "stress ball" and letting her chew sugarless gum. We did have this problem w/ our bio daughter...the thumb sucking, until age five. Of course she did not have all kinds of emotional baggage. We had tried all kinds of charts. What finally worked for her was this: she happened to see a tiny stuffed dog that she just HAD to have. I told her I would buy it when she stopped sucking her thumb, and she did :D . Now with my younger one (adopted in June), she will get a whole new Princess comforter/sheet set when she is staying dry all the time. She did stay dry 5 nights in a row to earn the pillow case :) , but seems to have lost motivation now :( . Good luck to you. I know even though it seems 'minor' in the scheme of things, it can really drive you crazy :eek: !

The thumbsucking I can at least sort of control. She rarely does it any more during the day--just in bed. But the wrist rubbing thing is what drives me nuts! She rubs it all day long. In school, out in the yard, in bed, while watching TV. I had a bandaid on it but then her arm gets sore from the bandaid being on all the time and she just lifts it up to rub anyway! Only once in the past four years has her wrist been callous-free. It gets so ugly and gross and looks like a big scab. Then she picks at that and it gets all sore looking. Other kids do come up and ask her what it is and she gets embarrassed but not enough to quit. Today I just got frustrated and took the bandaid off and told her I didn't care anymore if she rubs it that I just give up. Maybe with peer pressure she will quit. I just feel mean telling her about it all the time so maybe if I just back off she'll stop.

Dear 8,My oldest daughter, who is 18, just stopped sucking her thumb!!! LOL!!! She sucked her thumb through braces and everything. We tried it all!!!! SHe lost her grandfather and father three weeks apart from one another when she was 11. I know this was a huge comfort thing. What got her to stop? Her retainers!!!! There is an appliance that dentists can put in the roof of thier mouths that will not allow the thumb to fit in there comfortably. I didn't make her stop as this was the only habit she had and I knew it was her comfort when dealing with insecurities. Good luck! Carolyn

Hi Carolyn!18! Oh I'll go nuts waiting that long! LOL! Actually, the children's birthmom sucked her thumb as an adult and so did all the older siblings who were teenagers. My kids told me that they were "taught" how to suck their thumbs by the older siblings. There was a lot of neglect so I know it's a comfort thing for her. I saw a photo of this thing they had at the dentist to put in her mouth and it was scary looking! I have to be honest, I put the picture of it on my frig and told her that if she didn't stop sucking she would have to have one of those things put in her mouth. (Scare tactic) It didn't work! I guess I just need to wait it out! Diana

As for the callous, have you tried a water barrier cream? I was once involved with a child who had a very similar behaviour and the only thing we felt would help was a water barrier cream. The the cream kept the area from blistering or opening. She might enjoy applying the cream herself and it might give her a reason to not rub it away. I'm not sure what product is available in your area. We use Prevex here. Barrier cream is often used by nursing mothers for chapped nipples. Goodluckvetski

Thanks Vetski. I'll give that a try. I'm not sure if I can find that locally but there's probably similar products available if not.

Dear 8,I think the applaince is scarier looking than what it actually is, it just keeps them from being able to put their thumb in there, like the retainers. Funny, now that she has been out of the habit for a few months, it doesn't feel right. SHe and her boyfriend of two years broke up when she started college. She wanted to suck her thumb for comfort and she got upset because even that didn't fit right!!! LOL!! My oldest was a thumb sucker, next one~girl pacifier, next one boy~pacifier, next one boy~NOTHING!!!!! Next one~boy thumb and last one~girl middle two fingers. The binkies were the easiest, but boy, those thumb/finger suckers are the best kids and know how to comfort themselves!!!! LOL!! Good luck to you. Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be!!! Carolyn

"I'd rather have a crooked toothed, well-adjusted child and adult.....Than a straight-toothed, neurotic child and adult." Hear, hear, Linny! Just a quick add: I have done quite a bit of research on thumbsucking because I initially was horrified that my daughter did it. You know what I discovered? That studies have now shown that the more the parents try to force the child to stop, the longer the behavior will continue. Foreshadows adolescence, lol! But seriously - the behavior serves a need for the child and until that need is met, the behavior will continue. Giving it attention - in most cases negative - only continues to make the child upset and have a need to comfort him or herself ... which is all the thumbsucking does. I, for one, am choosing to allow the behavior to continue for as long as she needs to do it. It may drive me crazy but if it makes her happy, so be it. If that's the worst thing she ever does, I will consider myself lucky! Peace,

Okay, I'll come out of the thumbsucking closet... I sucked my thumb until an embarrassingly late age. In fact, I think that I finally stopped for good when I got a roommate in college! I could control it for school, so I never got teased for it. I really don't think it had any lasting effects on me at all. It made me feel comforted, and in fact, sometimes I wish that I could do something now that was as simple and effective as just sticking my thumb in my mouth (I've tried -- it doesn't work anymore). My best friend did essentially the same thing. We're both happily married, I'm a doctor now and she runs her own company, and neither of us has been to jail or has any major psychiatric issues, so I think we turned out okay. I wouldn't worry about it.

This might sound crazy, but this is what I did. Every day, I coddled my 3 year old and allowed that time to be thumbsucking time. I would pick her up like a baby and that was the only alloyed time she was given to suck her thumb. I would also say awww, my baby and she liked it at first, we did this for about a year. It soon phased out, although it was a VERY long year. She didn't like being referred to as a baby for long. It's kind of that if you can't beat 'em join 'em mentality. I also did the sock thing...BUT soon realized that she was more tempted to keep very pretty gloves on her hands that she picked out. It just isnt the same sucking on nasty acrylic fabric.