Help!

Hi, I got married in 1991 and had a beautiful daughter in 1994. In 1996 my husband and I seperated. It took 5yrs until we finally got divorced. He kept delaying the process. It was a terrible break up and he never had any interest in our daughter. In the divorce papers it clearly stated that I get full custody of her and he could not see her until he went under psychiatric analysis and took a drug test. He never chose to do that, therefore he never participated in anything that she did. He hasn't paid any child support for at least 4 years. In the meantime, I met a wonderful man I married and he has taken care of me and our daughter for about 7 years now. My new husband wants to adopt her but we don't know how to begin. My ex-husband is nowhere to be found and he hasn't taken care of our daughter in 7 years. She's only 10 now, and she wants nothing more than to be adopted because she feels that my new husband is her father. What can we do legally? Please, please, if anyone knows the NJ laws, you would be so helpful to our family.Thank you so much.N.R