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I'm beginning to think that my birth daughter may be as well. Now that I've reunited with my daughter and spending just 2 days with her.... her behavior was quite bizarre. At first I thought that she was trying to make me feel guilty for having had to surrender her when I was 16. She hadn't bathed, her apartment was filthy, drugs lying around and other things she had told me from her past. Once I got back home I got emails of how she was not going to be able to support herself etc.... When I offered to help any way I could I got a response from her that basically said she got nothing from me .. no talent no personality and that her parents were going to get her another apartment. I felt I had been attacked for no reason. Although myself and my other children are quite normal I do believe that my daughter may be afflicted with schizophrenia or other mental illness. I only found out that my own natural father (deserted us when I was only 3) may have this disorder when he showed up on my doorstep 32 years later homeless and wanting to move in with me. I'm furious with my mom for not telling me this as she always said to me "he loved you the best he could" but she NEVER told me he was mentally ill as I probably would have never taken the risk of passing it down to my childen. I really want to ask her aparents if she is afflicted in this way, but I just don't know how to broach the subject .... we've only emailed once to each other. I really need to know for my own sake as I will be better prepared for these types of personality swings.. and if she's not then I'll know that she's just being manipulative or that she used me to get their attention or that she was searching for me for revenge. I just don't know if I should ask about it. Any advice would be very welcome. Please PM me.
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Bewenched
I'm beginning to think that my birth daughter may be as well. Now that I've reunited with my daughter and spending just 2 days with her.... her behavior was quite bizarre. At first I thought that she was trying to make me feel guilty for having had to surrender her when I was 16. I have a bson that has been taking me on a guilt trip (I don't think he realises he's doing it, but its been non stop since reunion, 8 months worth) - so yes, it is possible - I think the fact that you say: She hadn't bathed, her apartment was filthy, drugs lying around and other things she had told me from her past. just about confirms it. Once I got back home I got emails of how she was not going to be able to support herself etc.... When I offered to help any way I could I got a response from her that basically said she got nothing from me .. no talent no personality and that her parents were going to get her another apartment. I felt I had been attacked for no reason. If you could see the responses I've had on replies to my posts, you will find that the general consensus is that addicts (drugs/alcohol) are very manipulative and it seems from what you are saying that the stage is set for such manipulation. Don't go for it. Although myself and my other children are quite normal I do believe that my daughter may be afflicted with schizophrenia or other mental illness. I only found out that my own natural father (deserted us when I was only 3) may have this disorder when he showed up on my doorstep 32 years later homeless and wanting to move in with me. I'm furious with my mom for not telling me this as she always said to me "he loved you the best he could" but she NEVER told me he was mentally ill as I probably would have never taken the risk of passing it down to my childen. Whilst children can have a genetic propensity for mental illness, its not a given, so I wouldn't be too hard on your mum. There are people who are genetically "sound" but go on to develop schizophrenia, in fact there is a huge amount of it now compared to former days, simply because of the huge explosion of drug use. I have worked in mental health and in the UK there are a lot of mentally damaged people because of the recreational drugs they have taken, so its not necessarily a genetic thing. However a weakness and tendency towards it can be inherited. However, there is good news in that it can be helped. I would suggest you contact Julia Ross via Google and [url=http://www.patrickholford.com]Find Out More About...[/url] both are specialists in helping mental health conditions. Julia Ross is based in USA and P Holford in the UK, so help is at hand to understand better. But,as I'm finding myself, the sibling has to want to help themselves, and you may have to distance yourself. Be warned, its not a nice journey dealing with mental health, so get as much emotional support in place for yourself as possible. I really want to ask her aparents if she is afflicted in this way, but I just don't know how to broach the subject .... we've only emailed once to each other. I would suggest strongly that you don't do this. They may not even be aware. I really need to know for my own sake as I will be better prepared for these types of personality swings.. and if she's not then I'll know that she's just being manipulative or that she used me to get their attention or that she was searching for me for revenge. I just don't know if I should ask about it. Any advice would be very welcome. Please PM me.
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Bewenched, I will pm you - just been flicking through the forums and I don't know how I missed this before. The point is I have been in reunion for a while and my son has been living with us since Dec 2006. He was raised in an upper middle class home and his adoptive parents also have another son (bio). Prior to him moving in he was always casually yet smartly dressed and always polite to me and my husband. Since living with us his behaviour has worsened and it took us four months to get him to let me wash his clothes ... up till then he refused to get them out of his room. The only reason he agreed them was because I told him I wasn't taking no for an answer and I also insisted his room was cleaned. Put it this way there was still an empty box in his room which had contained a glass pc desk which we bought for his room when he first moved in. There were also dirty dishes, glasses, empty cans and sweet wrappers in there that had built up over the months.