Out of State adoptions

we are in Md and adopted our daughter from NJ. We found her on adoption photolisting. The preplacement visiting period was about 6 weeks.the biggest frustration we had was the slow responses and lack of responses when we inquired on kids. We sent our homestudy out from 40some kids and on many we had no response at all. It was all worth it in the end though. : )

I'm in Arizona and my son was in California. I went to visit him 3 times before I brought him home. The visits took place over 2 months. I think my paperwork delayed things. I probably could have brought him home after the first visit if everything would have been in order on my end.

We had fd in MA that was adopted by couple in CT. They had to return to MA twice a week, at night, to take the MAPP training, because CT didn't have that at the time. They also visited the child every weekend. They so amazed me with their dedication.

We found our children on the TARE website. It seems like Texas being a large state had a lot of children listed that were in the age range that I was looking for. It was ironic because I expressed an interest in the children by responding to the TARE website and they asked that I send my homestudy and a recent picture of my husband and me. I never responded but the children were not available anyway, but then the prospective adoptive parents backed out because they wanted children who were not so close in age (mine are only a year apart and I found this out later after looking in their files and noticing the dates). Later after being disappointed in getting negative feedback on other children we were interested in, I inquired about the children again and they asked for a picture and a homestudy. This time I sent one and their placement worker responded that same day. We were selected in a committee meeting two weeks later, and from there we had our children 4 months later. ICPC is a nuisance as well as the contract that has to be done between the two states. DH and I visited the children once and spent a few days with the children. In this particular county of Texas no more visits were required. We were only able to do that after the ICPC was approved. All states do not require this. Also we were able to communicate with the children daily as well as their foster parents and therapist. All in all despite the paperwork headache, it was DEFINITELY worth it!!!! :p

Nikki - Do you know if 4 months is typical for TX? What is the average wait for ICPC once you have been selected?

Tudu - Each county of Texas is different. It also depends on the competency of the social workers from both states. Especially important is if the people who are handling the adoption familiar with doing out of state adoptions. So it is not really a state thing when you are trying to determine how much time it takes for selection, placements, etc. It is a state thing, however, when it comes to the timing of the ICPC, but they can only process it if it is completed correctly by each worker involved. My worker told me that it is not unusual for the ICPC approval process by itself to take up to 4 months because there are so many ICPCs in their system, then it has to be approved by your state. So it is difficult to really put a time frame on each individual adoption situation. Each situation and circumstance is different. I hope you have a good experience in your endeavor to adopt.

My Dh and I were selected for two girls (4&5) at the end of November. We are in MO and the girls are in CO. We were told the process takes 2-4mo (if you are lucky!). While we wait, we can speak to the foster mom only- we can talk to the children after ICPC is approved. We are hoping to bring our girls home in March, so the oldest one has plenty of time to settle in before she begins kindergarten. P.S. We used the Adoption Exchange to find our girls. It lists kids from several central and western states.

For us we're doing in-state NJ and our time line is similar to out of state. The girls were scheduled to move in 10 1/2 weeks after we first spoke to their cwer. This is with No ICPC. So it actually went faster for bjolly who was out of state. Go figure.

This has been very helpful. I now know I WILL be insane by the time we have more children. At least my dh can prepare to care for me and the kids.I think we will pursue in state if at all possible. We have been told by our worker that we will be loved by the other workers b/c of all of our experience with kids, our openess to higher risk, and our want for such a large group. Who knows.

Hi! We are in MO, too, an inquiring about children from other states. We have sent our homestudy to several places for kids on the Adoption Exchange, including in Colorado. How many preplacement visits do you have to do?

What is the TARE website? I'm in NY and considering adopting from Texas as the kids stay in foster care longer, according to a report that was done.

I am sorry I am just seeing this post. TARE stands for the Texas Adoption Resource Exchange website.

Hello! It has now been 3 months since we completed our adoption classes and have had our homestudy. We have sent that homestudy to nearly 50 workers around the country. We've been involved in 3 staffings for sibling groups so far - the first one the foster mother got them (no surprise - we went for the experience on that one). The 2nd one it came down to us and one other family - they got the kids because they had one stay-at-home parent (I'm a teacher who gets off at 2 every day and has all summer/holidays/etc. off and would be home when the kids are at home), the last one we were set to be "chosen" and then at the staffing the foster parents changed their minds and claimed they would adopt all the kids. Argghhh! We are beginning to wonder what is wrong with our family! This may sound crazy, but we went to a 3 hour inservice the other night for ongoing training, and there were adoptive parents there who were talking about all the problems their families/neighbors have including meth use, abuse issues, run-ins with the law...my goodness! We both have great families, we're educated, have a great home in a great neighborhood, have lots of experience with kids...We actually began this entire adoption process over a year ago, but because of budget cuts in the state the county didn't offer classes until this past fall. We keep thinking about how the press always claims that there is such a shortage of adoptive parents for kids in foster care. We are finding out, though, that when we respond to kids posted on the websites that it is really a big competitive thing to "apply" for those kids. One worker informed me that nearly 100 homestudies were sent in one for one particular sib group! I guess I'm just venting here. I know we've only been at this a few months but feeling really discouraged about the whole thing at the moment. We were going to try to adopt without having to do several years of fostering first - we have heard so many heartbreak cases in our county, especially with current judge. Is it really possible to find an adoptive placement the way we are going about it by sending in our homestudy to any kids we would consider????? We have mainly been using the Adoption photolisting site, TARE, Adoption Exchange, and several specific state sites that neighbor our state. To us, the distance to the state doesn't matter as we will travel anywhere. Any insight? In any case, thanks for listening!

It IS so frustrating to hear there is a need, and yet not be able to find a child. I have been a very passive looker, and let the county I am signed up with (not my own county but a more populous and poor county, therefore more children available) call me. I have had two awesome fost-adopt placements, one of which I did get to adopt, and one straight-foster short-term placement (was supposed to be respite but the fparents decided he should just move to me until a real placement could be found the next week, the caseworker was surprised and displeased, but I of course was thrilled). But all that was a couple years ago and now the county doesn't have hardly any children. All the calls I got last year (except for my fd that came back from a failed placement) were about children with significant and depressing special needs. How do you guys find children on the web sites, when I search I find nothing for my criteria, all the children seem to have terrible problems. Also, I can only do a single child now, because I only had space for two and have adopted my daughter, so am down to one space (I wish I had more space, but it is probably good that I don't).

Hello! What are your search criteria? We are willing to accept a single child or a sib group of up to 4 and ages from infant through 12 years. So hard to believe with the wide range of what we are willing to take that we haven't had a placement yet! We have also sent our homestudy to many counties nearby in our state and no luck there either. Also, instead of just searching on the national sites, we have actually registered with Adoption photolisting and the TARE site so we can inquire immediately when we find kids we are interested in...