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Ok, honetly I'm more than a little worried. I have been engaged to a wonderful guy for almost a year now. We have been dating for the last 3 years and I have known him for 8 years all together. We're 22 and have been living together for almost 3 years, as well. For about the last year and a half, we haven't really been using any birth control. Mostly because I kept forgetting to take it, pick it up, etc. It has finally caught up with us. We found out tonight that I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. He didn't react quite how I expected. We are both in school and work our butts off. His older brother has been living with us for a while and we've basically been supporting him. This has caused us a lot of stress. My fiance seems to think that I shouldn't have the baby or I should give it up. I can't even think about doing that. What do I do? Will this pass? I mean, is he maybe just in shock that it finally happened and I got pregnant? It's been a running joke for a long time. Help! Thanks, Jessy
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It is obviously no joke. I think it is important to realize that to your fiance' this baby you are carrying is still an abstraction. Another responsibility, but not necessarily a child of his. This may pass with time, it may not. Do your families know yet? Are they near? Supportive?
Can I ask you why you are supporting his older brother? Is he disabled?
It sounds to me like you want this baby to raise and love. You will need to remain strong on this. Fight for your child. Fiance's, husbands, boyfriends, cand and often do come and go. But our children are our children forever.
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His brother is simply lazy. He can't hold a job, can't manage money, etc. etc. We haven't told either of our families. They both live in the same town we do and I think that even though there would be some disappiontment on my parent's part, they would help out. He dosen't see it that way. It's just really upsetting because he was excited about the idea until we actually found out that I am pregnant.
I would let the initial shock wear off and revisit the subject in a few days. While some birthparents marry after placement, it is a HUGE strain on a relationship. (As is parenting, but that's another topic.) If you have known each other for eight and been a couple for three, I would suggest seeking counseling together, as a couple, to get through the hard first few months together. Many an engaged couple has been in your position and parented their child just fine. I encourage you to start researching parenting resources as soon as you can and present the help that is available to you (be it babysitting from a family member or WHATEVER you find) to your fiance when you revisit the subject.You can do this.