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I'm wondering how many other LDS families out there are in open adoptions. Wether they are through LDS social services or not? If so what's your story?
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I know I have talked to you before Aspen but can't remember what about.
Do you think your post adoption depression was a result of the open adoption. Do you think you would have had it...if it had been a closed or semi-open adoption?
I have certianly suffered through depression(almost like bi-polar) and insomnia this last year since hearing that my foster daughters birthmom signed over her rights.
I had two previous adoptions through fostercare in which i did not know the birthfamilies.... that went so well. It wasn't until this last adoption where I was very involved in the case and got to know the birthfamily that I had all kinds of emotional issues. I do feel that had a major reason in why I sufferd from Post adoption depression.
I actually was open until placement and then at placement bmom req'd no contact until she was ready. That wasn't until WELL after finalization. Yes it was open becasue I had all contact info and so did she, but without contact it felt closed. I would have LOVED to ask her bmom "what's up with THIS behavior??" or "where did this come from?" OR be able to say..."LOOK sweetie, your bmom wrote and says she loves you and hopes you're happy and wants to know what you did today/got for x-mas/did for your birthday etc..."
I found that dealing with what I imagined must be going on with the bfamily was MUCH worse than what was ACTUALLY going on.
My PADS was pretty much over by the time contact was re-established. I still hadn't bonded, but I wasn't depressed. I have lost track of what I've posted and where and to who! LOL I hope I was nice/helpful!
OOOPS! I am not an LDS parent. But I voted before I realized it was for a specific group
SORRY :o
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I was brought up LDS and my lil sister gave her son up through LDS Social Services.
However, I am sure it was a closed adoption.
They did, however, send her reports on how her son was doing for the first year of his life.
She is afraid to try to find him. Thinking she would get into trouble. Personally, I would love to try to find him.
My son and my daughters that I gave up were not through LDS, but they were all open adoptions. I just lost track of my son through the years. I didnt want to keep bugging his mother. (adoptive) I think they are in Calfornia now.
However, I speak to my daughters at least once a week.
Good luck.
JO
Curious, who does she think she would get in trouble with?
Are you sure you were "bugging" his amom? I get so antsy when it's been too long between contact.