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A father really doesn't have a choice in whether or not to support his children. You can take him to court, and his wages can be garnished. Women who have been in your situation can offer you more support and ideas on what to do As an adoptee, I am concerned with your viewpoint on the "beautiful part of the story." Many of us adoptees grimace at the idea of the beauty of helping an infertile couple become parents. There is an implication that we are being gifted to those parents, and a child should never be seen as something to give to someone else. (Should parents both biological and adoptive view us as special, as precious? Yes. But, we should never be seen as a present to another couple or individual.) If you decide to give your child up for adoption, please know that it is going to be a loss for your child, for you, and for your family. I'm not trying to dissuade you from choosing adoption. Only you can figure out what is best for you. But, I want you to do it knowing that even if we could know the future and know definitively that your child was going to have a much better life (however that is defined) with adoptive parents, your child will still have had a loss. I wish you the best in your decision. I can only imagine how difficult it is.
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The first thing you need to do is to establish the paternity of your child, since the man could be either the father of your other children or the man you dated during your separation from him. It's very important for paternity to be established for two reasons: 1. If you wish to keep the child, once he/she is born, the biological father can and should be compelled to pay a certain amount of child support. It's the law, it's your right to demand it, and it's the ethical responsibility of the baby's father. 2. If you wish to place the child for adoption, once the baby is born, you will need to notify the biological father, as he will have priority if he wants to adopt the baby and is determined to be fit to do so. If he does not wish to adopt, he will need to sign a paper terminating his parental rights. The notification also alerts any of his relatives, who may wish to apply to adopt, though your wishes to place with your friend will generally be honored. Adoption is a complex legal process. And if you want to ensure that your biological child has a stable future, you need to lay the groundwork by getting some legal advice, as well as some counseling with regard to your options. Sharon
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The biological Father would never have to adopt his own child. The Father would have to agree with your parenting plan and to sign over his rights. Otherwise he can establish his rights and raise the child himself. So although you may or may not end up choosing adoption you would have to get him to agree to it or the contested adoption would end up (normally) in his favor if he is proven fit to raise a child. Best of luck either way. As L4R said adoption is a loss but it is also a new start. It if done right, open and filled with love can be good (still painful to you and the child and adoptive parents) trust me as one I can tell you there are struggles for every part of the triad but neither set of parents in our adoption would change it at this point :) Best of luck dear!
The biological Father would never have to adopt his own child. The Father would have to agree with your parenting plan and to sign over his rights. Otherwise he can establish his rights and raise the child himself. So although you may or may not end up choosing adoption you would have to get him to agree to it or the contested adoption would end up (normally) in his favor if he is proven fit to raise a child. Best of luck either way. As L4R said adoption is a loss but it is also a new start. It if done right, open and filled with love can be good (still painful to you and the child and adoptive parents) trust me as one I can tell you there are struggles for every part of the triad but neither set of parents in our adoption would change it at this point :) Best of luck dear!
Moderators!!! Please remove my posts from this thread. The OP has obviously requested that you remove her post (because it's now gone), and my post no longer makes sense since it was regarding her post. So, please remove both this post and my post at the top of this thread. With being at the top of the thread, people can easy believe that I began the thread.
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