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Just finally found my dad yesterday. And today is his one year anniversary of his death! I can't explain my disappointment. There are no words to describe the sadness I feel of never getting to call him Dad, smile and laugh with him, cry with him, be there for his death. He never was told about me. He never knew my mother was pregnant. She hid it. They grew up in the same small town together, and when she started to show, she went to the big city to stay at the maternity home and have me adopted out. I'm so so sad right now.
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Aw, I am so sad that your dad passed away before you could meet him. I am in a similar situation in that my bmom passed away before I met her.
I grieved for her a long, long time and I still am in a way I guess. I grieve not only for her but the things that "might" have been, could have been, should have been.
Did your dad have any other children? Maybe you will be able to at some point meet them and they may be able to tell you about him. I know that is a "sticky" situation as I am "there" myself.
But I can definitely understand the pain you feel.
I am trying to concentrate on the things I do have. I never thought I would even know the identity of my bmom let alone be in reunion with my bsibs.
The shock of finding your bdad gone is still very new. Take all of the time you need to grieve.
Hugs
Snuffie
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I'm so sorry that your dad passed away before you were able to meet him.I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. When I read your post, a past post of mine where I talked about a song popped in my head that maybe you might like to read about this particular song I posted about. I don't know if it will help or not, but it popped into my head so I thought I'd post the link to that old thread/post so you can check it out if you'd like to. [url="http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?p=814884#post814884"]http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?p=814884#post814884[/url] God Bless. Anne
First off, I am SO SORRY for the loss of your dad. Please know you are NOT alone. I too searched for my bdad in 2005, only to find out he died a few months before my CI located him at the young age of 59. I don't think there is any way to put into words what you are feeling. I know there wasn't for me. I tried contacting his sister, and although she spoke to me initially, she has since been influenced by another sister to not continue contact unless I can "prove" that I am who I say I am....UGH!!!!!! Mine is a long story, but I won't go into it for now. Just want you to know that you are NOT alone!!! Keep coming back for you will find so much support on these forums!!!!!! Hugs,Karen
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Luck Luck Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How's that??????? My bdad has 5 children. So far I'm too chicken to contact, even though I have names and have found addresses for most of them.......................... A lot has gone on in my life the last few months, and I've just had too much other crap to deal with........... Karen
My heart goes out to you - the sense of loss can be so incredibly deep. I, too, found out a few months back that my b-parents died over 20 years ago and the grief is really intense yet hard to describe. It's painful to realize that the day I was born and adopted out was the last day I'd ever have contact with my b-parents. I can definitely relate to your sadness in not being able to call him, be with him. Give yourself space and time to grieve. May you find some comfort in knowing that you're not alone.
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I just recently found out that my birthmother passed away, just last year, while I was searching. I was so angry with myself for not searching sooner, but lots of wonderful people on this forum have helped me realize that I shouldn't be too hard on myself. I am in contact with her sister, my birth-aunt, and we are meeting soon. At least I have a connection to my mother in some way. I may find out the same thing about my birthfather, who knows? Like yours, he was unaware that my mother was pregnant and she was sent away to a home to have me. Hopefully you will get a postive response from your grandmother. Good luck in your search for your siblings,Jennie