Advertisements
Hi!I am 7 months pregnant and still debating the parenting vs. adoption option.What were your reasons for relinquishing? I want to make sure that if I sign my rights away for this little baby, I did it for the right reasons based on what I knew... (a) How important is two parent home? Birthfather does NOT want any contact and complete anonymity throughout entire process. He has signed away everything (including paperwork to ensure records are sealed at age 18). (b) Better life? Were you referring to material or emotional goods here. Although I have stable job, income, insurance, etc., I have NO knowledge about raising a baby. Does that make me a bad candidate to parent? I would be flying solo and I know nothing about single parenting. I love this baby so so so much, and I only want what is best!!! I feel selfish for considering parenting when there are so many adoptive couples out there - but I think I would be a da** good mom. Any input is appreciated!Thanks, Ski_Bunny
Like
Share
Advertisements
Wonderful news - Congratulations!!!!Feel free to stick around for support, parenting tips, etc. There are so many incredible moms & dads around here of all shapes & sizes who have great advice to offer if you want it! From deciding whether to breast or bottle feed to what kind of diapers they like, and everything in between. A lot of smart people here!
It was quite ironic...my friend has no connections to the adoption "triad" that is spoken of so often. She told me I was a prospective parent just as much as those featured in the profiles provided by an agency. I should make the book for the baby's benefit no matter what. An interesting piece of advice from someone I never expected it from.
Ski_Bunny: So happy for you I truly am...I relinguished in the sixties & I can tell you if I could go back my decision would be to raise my own child.Good on you and as everyone else has said please come back as we have all been there done that.You are going to be a great mom!!! :grouphug: Just my opinion!
Advertisements
Congrats Ski Bunny! I am an adoptee and I would adopt someday if I felt I wanted another child as I can no longer have anymore babies. I just read this whole thread and your journey and the decision to keep your child brought tears to my eyes. You sound like you have your head on your shoulders and I believe you will make a wonderful mother. I am glad you decided to keep your child. I wish you all the best and I hope to see you in the parenting part of the forum!! I can assure you that being a first time mom is scary and it's normal to have doubts. Just look for resources and help from your friends, family and those of us here.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and on your choice to parent. I bet you'll be a great Mom. I didn't read the whole thread, and I hope I don't offend anyone but....don't forget about child support from your child's Dad.Accepting child support does NOT make you any less of an independant woman, and can be a great benefit to your child!Again - congrats!!!!!!
You've recieved a ton of great advice from these ladies, but I have to say you must must follow your heart in all of this. Do what YOU feel is right and it will work out. Do NOT do anything that you will regret because of a man that obviously wants nothing to do with your child. I know exactly what you're going through, the situation is almost identicle. I had been dating this guy for over a year, I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked and scared, he wanted me to have an abortion. I wouldn't. He then had a change of heart and wanted to be a dad, then he fell off the wagon, and decided he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. Partying was more important. So I spent the last 3 months of my pregnancy alone, debating the fate of my child. Should I keep her, should I give her up. I absoloutly made myself sick. I couldn't decide. I went to counseling, I went to adoption agencies, I did it all. I still couldn't decide. Then a couple of days before I went in to labor my social worker told me that my baby would have to go in to foster care...I freaked out, and pretty much decided she was coming home with me, and then I'd decide. Then she was born, I saw her and fell even more in love. My parents (who had been pushing adoption) fell in love, and did everything they could to support me. I finally decided I couldn't give her up, and she was staying with me. She's now 2 months old, and I'm as happy as I've ever been. I couldn't imagine giving her up. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.
Advertisements
hi!
i have not read the other answers you recieved,
but,
if it makes you feel any better, i had babysat for years,
and i had our long awaited child with my Dh,
BUT,
we took ALL the diapers they gave us to change our first child's diaper the first time,
i woke up ever couple minutes the first months to make sure he was breathing,
i had NO IDEA how to breast feed or fix a bottle,
had never seen a child before a circumscision, nor did i know exactly how to take care of the tender skin after.
i was clueless regarding pediatricians, carseats (and instillations!), and was very vague regarding insurance.
i am still clueless in regards to daycare and aftercare.
so,
IF you are finanicially or almost finacially able to care for you child, and DESIRE to do so,
i say,
give it a go!
you are in the same position as most first time moms (and while a loving attentive father woulld be great, im finding that most will say even in a marital relationship the dad's arent necessarily all that much help for the first months anyhow...;) )
cris....just my opinion, but i have NEVER been a single mom so take my post lightly!
best wishes as you make (and remake) your decision over the next few months!!
Hi, Katie! So good to hear from you. I hope you are gettting some sleep. 2 months! Wow - you are through the hardest part. I knew that your parents would love their granddaughter. All of the time that I was reassuring my daughter that she would fall in love with her son, I forgot to tell myself that I would go crazy for this little guy. Give my regards to Grandma and Grandpa. Happy G'Ma
Advertisements
Hello,I'm an adult adoptee and can tell you that even if you place your child for adoption there is no guarantee that your child will not "show up" on his/her father's doorstep 20 years from now anyway - whether you parent your child or place. Many, many adoptees search for their birth parents and ask questions their entire lives trying to understand. It is natural and normal - we lost our first parents. I just became a first time Mom recently and I can tell you that I was scared, as is every new parent. We don't feel adequate to parent and we have to learn as we go. As an adoptee I can now tell the love and instinct comes so naturally with my own child. For the first time in my life I can have a "normal" family relationship with someone of my own flesh and blood. I think it is sad for adoptees to have to have their own children to experience this. My birthmother passed away before I searched, but was also searching for me. I'll never know what it would have been like to have a mother/daughter relationship with my natural mother. You have this opportunity if you don't allow pressure to overwhelm you. I wouldn't trade motherhood for the world. No one could ever replace my child. Some good books to read are "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge. God bless you and your baby.