Foster to Adopt Story Out of Rhode Island

A nice story out of the Providence Journal about a couple in RI who decide to adopt one of the kids they have fostered: The thrill of adoption

Foster parents Cindy and Edward Beauregard couldn't stand to lose baby Xavier, so they adopted him.

12:22 PM EST on Wednesday, February 15, 2006

By ARTHUR KIMBALL-STANLEY

Journal Staff Writer BURRILLVILLE -- Cindy and Edward Beauregard said that adopting was never their intention, but with Xavier there was something special. The Beauregards already had three biological children when they decided, about three years ago, that they were interested in foster parenting. And after two years of having babies move in and out of their home, the Beauregards decided to keep one. While the bond that the family has formed with Xavier is definitely good for the boy, according to the Department of Children, Youth and Families, it means that there is one less foster family to take care of children without a home. As more and more foster parents adopt children, the state is finding foster care more difficult. Cindy, who works as a nurse in the emergency room at Landmark Medical Center, said the idea of becoming a foster parent came to her when she saw a 6-month-old girl brought to the hospital for abuse and neglect. "Seeing that girl made me think there was something I can do," she said. After discussing the matter with her husband, Cindy contacted the DCYF, and months later, the Beauregard family had a new guest in their home: a newborn girl named Lindsay. Lindsay stayed with the family for two months, and was followed over the next year by a series of infants, each becoming a temporary part of the Beauregard family. THE FAMILY Xavier, Cindy said, was the sixth child the family took in, and he ended up staying the longest. After nearly a year, she said, the family began to regard him more and more as one of their own. It was during his first birthday party, Cindy remembered, that the thought popped into her head. "Maybe we are his family," she remembered thinking. And so the family began taking the steps to adopt nearly 2-year-old Xavier. The papers were signed Feb. 1, at the Joseph Garrahy Judicial Complex in Providence, and nearly a year after he entered their home, Xavier officially became a Beauregard. "He stayed for such a long time that when he started using words, started talking, we had a problem," Cindy said. "We didn't know what to have him call us, Mommy, Daddy, or Cindy and Eddie. We didn't want to get him confused, but he would start mimicking our children." Cindy said that Xavier's biological mother was not successful in developing a good track record with the DCYF. For months and months, much longer than with any of their former charges, the boy shared a room with Eddy, their 8-year-old son. He would go to church, the movies, out to dinner with the family. "After a certain point, you just start thinking about him as your own kid," she said. WHEN PEOPLE interested in becoming foster parents contact the DCYF, the state agency begins a six- to eight-month process of evaluation. One of the first things that the DCYF does when investigating potential foster parents, apart from a criminal-record check and mental-health evaluation, is consider the size of their home. While the Beauregards's home is by no means small, the three children they already have limited the family to one foster child at a time. Adopting Xavier means the family now has four children and the home is too small for a foster child. Foster parents or relatives adopt about 80 percent of all the children in the DCYF system, according to Maureen A. Robbins, chief case-work supervisor for the DCYF's adoption and foster-care preparation and support unit. "Twenty to thirty years ago we would have foster families with us for twenty to twenty-five years of service," Robbins said. "I would say for many of the foster parents it was a vocation, and in the old days, most families did not go on to adopt their foster kids. Now many foster parents go on to adopt their children, and what that means is that there is an ongoing need for foster homes." Robbins said that new state and federal regulations that appeared in the late 1990s stressed finding permanent homes for children in DCYF care. This change means less turnover for children, she said, but more turnover in foster care. "There is always a need for foster families," Robbins said, discussing the approximately 1,597 children in the Ocean State in foster care. "We have babies that are waiting in hospitals and sibling groups looking for places to live. But people who are coming forward to become foster parents have to realize that most of the children who come into the system are reunited with their family." THE ATTACHMENT she formed with the babies who came and left was very hard to deal with, Cindy Beauregard said. When some of them left, she said, she would hold the emotion in, waiting to cry about it late at night. Edward Beauregard, a painter, said what affected him most before getting into foster care was the stigma that the culture, through movies and other stories, associate with foster parents. "Talking about it at first gave me the leeries," Edward said of the idea about becoming a foster parent. "But it's been such a joy, using my house to help kids and give them a home. Our family is far from perfect, but we can give them things they need, like dinner on the table, a roof over their head, and support and affection." Cindy said that despite a few heartbreaks she greatly encourages other people to get involved in either adoption programs of foster care. "We've gotten a couple of other people involved," she said. "But there is still such a need. You always hear about kids getting adopted from places like China, but there are so many kids right here in Rhode Island that need homes. ... The first time I went to DCYF I couldn't believe the number of cubicles and the number of floors there were. I couldn't believe there were so many kids in such a small state that needed help." ROBBINS SAID those interested in foster care should not underestimate what it entails. "Parenting is a major challenge," she said, "and being a foster parent or adopting only adds to those challenges." While the state does provide assistance for foster parents -- about $400 per month -- the Beauregards said they always ended up spending much more out of their own pockets. Ultimately, Cindy said, she sees it as a way of giving back. "The way I look at it, we are very fortunate to have good jobs and this is our way of giving back. We didn't get into this to adopt, but unfortunately, [biological] parents sometimes get too stressed with life, and sometimes kids are forced to bear the brunt of that stress." What will the Beauregards tell Xavier when he gets older and asks about his family and where he came from? They said they will tell him the truth. "We'll tell him the truth," Cindy said. "He was born part Cape Verdian, part Portuguese, and part Puerto Rican, and now he's part French-Canadian as well." Link: [url]http://www.projo.com/northwest/content/projo_20060215_bfoster.12dba42d.html[/url]