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What do your children call their bmoms? Do you run it by bmom first? We have a lil 1yr old baby girl. We don't get to see bmom often since she just moved to another state. We talk every couple of months or so. I guess I should introduce us first! Our story is kind of sad though. Bmom chose us when baby was born and everything's gone good there. However, when bdad found out that she had the baby instead of terminating (like he wanted her too) he decided he wants his family to have her (he's in jail for 2-12yrs). Since bmom relinquished voluntarily to DCS, they placed her in our home but not as a "real" fosterchild. The bdad's family contacted SW about wanting custody. About a month after that they stopped calling SW and we haven't heard anything from them for almost a yr. Well because of the bdad refusing to sign, our adoption is on hold. However, because she wasn't made a dependent of the state, there is no timeline for her case. So here we sit, over a yr, and not even close to the first court date. When court does come around I'm afraid his family will come back in and take her. She could be 2-3yrs old when that happens. We have older kids (teens and adults)and a 6yr old son who will be devestated if she leaves. Bmom and us even changed her name (not legally), so if she leaves she won't even have her name that she goes by. Bmom feels helpless. We're also afraid that if the bdad's family gets custody that baby will lose contact with Bmom since she is scared of bdad. So our baby girl would not only lose us, but her bmom and sisters. But for now we are having a great open adoption. We hope to go visit bmom and her 2 girls sometime later this yr. She's had a lot of bad relationships but is back together with a guy who seems to be really nice (I've talked to him on the phone a few times). So she's always in our prayers. She doesn't have a good relationship with her family. She even asked us that if anything ever happens to her or her BF, that she would want us to take her 2 girls. They are sweethearts and we would be happy to do that. Hope this wasn't too long!
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hi there,
welcome! I'm not sure, but there are others who have had difficult and challenging situations so these boards may be of some comfort.
Because we don't believe in dd calling adults by just their first name, she will be using a title for her bparents. Like other relatives, such as Aunt jane or Uncle bob, her bparents will have the title "bema" and "beda". so far so good.
oh and we discussed it with bparents, explaining our objection to just a first name. so they agreed with bema and beda.
I hope everything works out soon,
Lisa
Sorry to hear about all of the trouble that you're having with your daughters adoption. I hope it all works out. Our AS will call his bmom "Aunt L" and bfather "Uncle D" and that's how we refer to them when we are speaking to the baby. I wanted somethinga little more special than just first names, as my feeling is you call your neighbor.aquaintance etc by their first names and the birthparents are a little more special than that, so we wanted them to have a "special" title, like Auntie. It works for us and makes them feel special.Hope that helps,Denise