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Hi, I am new to all this and have been on a giant roller coasterfor the last 7 months and don't know how much longer I can do this. We have had our little girl since she was 4 days old, and were told by the state that this will be a fast track case and there is pretty much no way that the mother will get her back. Well I new it was all too good to be true and I am thinking I was right. I know that the state has a job to do, and they think that the bio parents are always the best solution, but we really love her. Couldn't love her more if she was our own. Yesterday the social worker called and said that they have dropped her from fast track and are now going for reunification. The mother is doing so much better then they have ever suspected, and her psychological evaluation came back that they recomend reunification.I really can't believe that they want to risk a childs life and happiness just to make the mother happy. Sorry so long, just really need to vent and was hoping there are other stories that turn out successfully.
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with dfs, you can never predict. i got a 4 month old little boy that was only suppose to be with me for 3-4 months, that was almost 5 years ago. i adopted him when he was 2. 5 years old. then i got his sister when she was 9 month old and her case was supposed to be fast tracked to adoption but she was returned to her bmom 11 months later. now i have yet another sister who came to me at 6 weeks. she was supposed to be fast tracked (adopted within a year). well that year has come and gone but the plan is still adoption it is just taking a while.
if i read your post right, your fdaughter is 7 months old? it is a tough situation and i hope you find peace with whatever is decided. i hope your little one is safe. there is not much i can offer except to say i have been there several times and would be willing to listen.
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Thanks, yes she is about 7 1/2 months now. I am just hoping that they don't just hand her over. To me and others it seems like the birth mom should have no chance of getting her back (extensive criminal and drug abuse background) and 4 children already have been terminated. I guess I just have to have faith and of course keep on loving and taking care of her.
Hi. I'm so so sorry you're going through this.
Is your fd currently having visits with mom? There should be a court hearing to change her goal from adoption to reunification. Mom is going to have to prove she's clean and has a stable environment in which to raise a child. If there has been no visitation there probably will be.
I know how devastating the news can be that the child's goal is changing to anything other than adoption. I've been on the rollercoaster ride myself the past 6 months. Hearing you may lose your daughter is absolutely terrifying. But hang in there. Things can change from day to day when you're working with the foster care system.
Just have faith that if she is meant to be your daughter she will be. It ain't over until it's over. Mom will have a long road ahead of her and this may drag on for some time. Alot can happen.
I wish you the best and if you need a shoulder to cry on feel free to pm me.
Your little one is the same age as our little girl, only we didnt get her until she was a month old. I have to tell you I was told the same thing about her, mom was trying real hard at first, then visits started going bad, baby would cry the whole hour then mom got discouraged. She eventually stopped doing everything. Biomom and Biodad were both TPR, now we are biting our nails that the grandparents dont get her. They only came forward a month ago and they both are on probation for DUIs, Gma is on Antabuse for alcoholism. We are still in the horrible waiting period and wont go to court till May. Hang in there, things can change so quickly. The program isnt easy for the bios to get through.
Thanks for your support. Biomom has been having visitations for 2 hours a week since November, and they start 4 hours next week. I have no faith in the visitations going poorly for bmom being that fd is such a well behavied and happly little girl, and also the visitations are supervised by her counselor at the half-way house so I know they won't report negatively. I feel as if the biomom is being handed everything to her on a silver platter. She has been approved for disability so she doesn't have to work, and is on the top of the list for low income housing. I know it has to be hard to stay clean, and I don't wish bad things opon her, but can't help but want my baby. Thanks again for letting me vent.
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Sometimes these cases just don't make sense :(. We had a difficult case with our youngest one. In this case the bfam went back and forth for 7 mo. that he was in our care. It was emotional agony. So, I can understand how you feel. I hope things turn out for the best for this baby!
Blessings,
MJ
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I have asked for a third party supervisor from cw and she feels that the counselors are sufficent, she did say she would try to stop in the the visit, but to be honest I don't really believe her right now. The GAL has only been in communication with us a couple of times and doesn't shed alot of light on the case. Baby has her first 4 hour visit tomorrow and I know I will be just biting my nails waiting to pick her up. Was there anything any of you were able to do legally to help your case. From what I understand is that we have no legal ground to stand on. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
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unfortunatly, at this time you have not legal standing. if mom is working her case plan, she most likely will get the baby back. i know that is hard to hear especially since they presented this case as an adoptive placement. i don't want to sound negative, i just want to prepare you. my second foster daughter arrived in november, they could not locate any parents till february. the case worker started talking about adoption in dec. dad showed up in feb and started having visits (did not even have to prove paternity cuz he was still leagally married to mom, i have great reservations that he is actually her bio dad) baby was reunited in june. i hope you find some peace during the visit, while you wait to hold your little one in your arms again
I only know about this because my son's former FM asked for and was given de facto parent status at the TPR hearing. Freaked the SWs out, I think the FM just wanted the right to get the little guy back if our adoption of his sister disrupted.
[url]http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/jv295.pdf[/url]
pamphlet here
[url]http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/jv299.pdf[/url]
One of the provisions is that if the child needs a placement, they have to consider the de facto parent. So, if your little one goes back to birth mom, you might want to be prepared to ask for de facto parent status at the court hearing. If mom really doesn't have it together, you'll have a strong case to get her back.
Still heartbreaking if you feel you're stuck watching a trainwreck with your little girl on board.
Shel