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Hi, I am a hopeful adoptive Mom and I desperately need opinions/thoughts, etc... from transracial adoptees so that we can do the right thing!!!!!!!! If you looked like your adoptive parents, but came from a different country, what are your thoughts about your original heritage/culture/religion????? Do you think you would appreciate and not blame the adoptive parents' for taking care of you all the years that they did?????? What would your feelings be towards the Adoptive and Birth Families??????? Would the fact that you look similar to your adoptive parents have any positive effect on you regarding their culture, religion, etc..??Thanks so much for responding,
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I think a lot of adoptees worry about cultural heritage even if they are not transracial. I looked like my adoptive parents but I still felt the need to know what my genetic heritage was.
The day I found out I was Irish by genetics and not just via adoption was an amazing day for me. It was a big deal to be Irish in my family and we never knew if I was or not. Left me feeling left out as a kid.
I also do not think ANY child should appreciate their parents taking care of them whether bio or adoptive. When you become a parent it is your NUMBER ONE JOB to take care of the child.
Do you appreciate your parents for raising you? And I mean appreciate like indebted to not appreciate because I love you.
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I don't look at all like my caucasian adoptive parents but it hasn't been a barrier to our love of each other. I'd highly recommend that you do what you can to acquaint your child with his/her cultural heritage. Also, if you can live in a multicultural neighborhood, that would help reduce the traumas of your child copping racism. I recommend the book, "The Colour of Difference:Journeys in Transracial Adoption" (it's available from The Federation Press [url="http://www.federationpress.com.au/"]http://www.federationpress.com.au/[/url] or Amazon.com) , the international adoptee forum [url="http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=769"]http://forums.adoption.com/forumdisplay.php?f=769[/url] as well as the Inter-Country Adoptee Support Network [url="http://www.icasn.org/"]http://www.icasn.org/[/url] for additional transracial resources. According to the autobiographies written in The Colour of Difference, the loss of one's cultural heritage is an additional loss in the adoptees' lives. Give yourself a hug for being so proactive regarding the transracial questions.