Open, Semi-Open or Closed?

Semi-open. We were choosen by the pbmom, had contact with her, met her in the hospital and now I send pictures and letters to her thru the adoption agency. She may also correspond, but doesn't.

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]Was suppose to be semi-open with mutual contact through the agency, but my dd's bmother has not followed through as of yet. My dd is now four. [/FONT]

We have semi-open. We send pictures on a pre-determined schedule and there are a certain number visits scheduled. Three visits the first year, 2 visits the second year and 1 the third year. So far DD's bmom had not visited since placement. We are open to visits when she is ready. So if she's wants 3 visits in year 3 we're fine with that.

[font=Century Gothic]Open was encouraged by agency (not required), and also what we were looking for. We share fully identifying info and a morally binding agreement (desired by all of us...not agency required). In it we agree to regular/periodic contact, pictures & letters when an important milestone in babe's life happens, and a min. of 1 visits/year. All 3 of us email, call, send letters and packages.[/font]

Our adoption is closed. We were most interested in semi-open, but the bmom wanted closed. We do have some medical info and due to admin error we also know the bmom's name.

What we ended up with was an exchange of personal info and letters over the first few months but we've had no bmother contact since then.

both dh and I are aa, as well as dd. our adoption is very open. originally bmom and family wanted a semi open. they were open to being contacted by her at age 18. once dd was born, that all changed and it's very open. we contact each other regularly, send photos, have had one visit (there would be more but we live more than 2000 miles away). we expect to see each other annually at minimum. I think many expectant women aren't sure what they want in terms of contact, and are probably advised by family and friends that contact is painful, bad for the child, it's better to just start over, etc. also a number of the agencies doing "special" AA adoptions are the traditional old school ones who are probably less than thrilled about open adoption. I wonder how much counseling and outreach is done about open adoptions. dd's bmom's agency was very old school, wanting everything channeled thru them. we put an end to that asap, lol. And my feeling is that they were less than thrilled that bdad showed up, weren't interested in searching for him (were happy enough about putative father registries and thought that was fine). we had to push and push them.

Our agency only does semi-open or open. We personally have a semi-open, but b-mom left right after giving birth and wants nothing to do with Drihan. We send letters and pics to the agency, but she refuses them.

Ours is closed technically. The agency requires us to send letters and pics periodically and then bmom can come get them (she never has). We did not share identifying information but we have hers (administrative error also) and I have to assume someone made the same mistake on our end. We wanted semi open to open but she wanted closed. I was suprised how hard it was for me to deal with when PJ first came home but the total lack of contact or info has gotten easier as time has gone on. Although I still do not know how to explain to him why his adoption is closed and all the other adoptions are semi open. Should be interesting. Luckily, right now, if its not an electrical outlet, he's not interested. ;) Jen