Advertisements
I'm related by marriage to a birth mother who has been in reunion for some time so I'm not sure where to post this. Up until now the family have been supportive towards her and accepted that she is in reunion which we all think is lovely. Only a couple of members of the family have met him due to him moving out of the country some time ago plus we didn't want to be pushy before he went. Obviously reunion has been up and down for her so we have just been there to listen to her as we don't really understand what she is going though. Recently they had a bad falling out as he accused her of some nasty things that she hasn't down and has gone round telling other people these things. He has also being saying some untruthful things about other people which has really annoyed her as they can't defend themselves. They believe him which has really upset her badly. My brother in law has told me what has happened and none of the family has interfered until now but now we are getting worried over her as she is having getting over this. What can we do to help her?
Like
Share
OMG, that is really sad, that's how I feel after reading your post. My heart breaks for her, and I can hear your concern in your post. I am praying for her and her birthson. Hopefully, in time, this will get straightened out. I would reach out to her and let her know that you are there to listen, let her know that she is in your thoughts alot.
Just a thought, too, you could refer her to this forum. There are lots of birthmoms, adoptees, and adoptive parents who will listen and help her get through this too.
You are all in my prayers and thoughts.
Advertisements
Thank you it is hard to watch her despair as she doesn't let it show except on very bad days. She feels a failure for what's happened even though she and her birthson are victims to circumstances. My s-i-l wants to do the best she can by him yet it is getting harder as he backs off when times get difficult yet she needs a brak as well. Gong on what we have been told we do get the impression he is scared to believe her about some things as he found family members of hers before their reunion. Apparently her sister told him some nasty lies about her as they don't get on and she told him what some of these lies were so that has confirmed to him that not all people he contacted have been honest with him.
He found my husband and his other brother during birthson's search. The other brother said some nasty things about my brother in law and sister in law to him which we only recently found out about. My husband didn't though yet this young man has accused him of not liking our sister in law but apparently she told him outright that she found this hard to believe and confronted us. We have put her mind at rest as at the time we hadn't known about her birthson so thought he was a crank. We have since felt bad about this but she isn't angry with us as she said she would probably reacted the same.
I feel better posting now and will make sure I and the rest off the family are there for her as well as letting her know about this place.
BAunt3rdAug1981, you had me really confused there for a moment! :) You have an awesome and incredible friend, I must say! It's amazing, isn't it? I try to believe that there are no accidents in life, and knowing that the two of you are friends just reinforces that for me. This is going to sound really naive and simple, (sometimes that's all I can resort to), but could they both decide to put aside what's in the past, learn about each other from here on forward, and begin their lives with each other in the present? I know, family and past are powerful, emotional things. I'm just worried that all of this may be too much to get past right now, and time is going by. Just a thought. I wish we had more folks posting here. You are all in my prayers. Please keep posting when you can.