Son died should I contact adoptive parents?

I would like everyone's opinion - Here is the story: I have always been open about my son that I put up for adoption to everyone around me. I figured if he was to ever come back into my life I did not want to shock anyone and he would be welcomed by everyone around me. Anyway here is my story: I received a phone call from a friend she said she didn't know if this was just a coincidence but she felt like she had to tell me just in case. She went to work on Monday and one of the lady's who work with her was telling my friend how she had a friend who's child died from a drug overdose. As the story went on the lady mentioned he was adopted. My friend said she just couldn't quit thinking about it - she went home and pulled out the paper to read the obituary. She called me when she realized this boy was born on Valentine's Day - she remembered that was when mine was born because I would always be so sad on that day. So she asked me what year he was born and when I told her 1985 she said "Well it could still be a coincidence". Then I told her I knew they named him Matthew Steven and she started crying - it was him. I cannot begin to explain the emotions I feel right now - some closure (which I feel guilty for feeling), some pure sadness - I have cried myself to sleep every night for right over a week now. In this I find out that a man I work with has a daughter who dates the adoptive dad. Found out adoptive parents divorced. He then tells me that Matt was a problem child. Started doing drugs at 16 and was very violent when on drugs. His parents had him arrested numerous times for destroying property and domestic abuse. I learned that 2 months after I placed him for adoption the adoptive mom found out she was pregnant and that my son always felt like he was not good enough because he was adopted. I am so sure that these people loved him and did everything possible to try to help him through his emotional problems. I was told he had depression problems and was ADD (both hereditary through my side). He went to a party one night did some drugs and drinking and then went to bed. The next morning everyone woke but him. He was 21. I am sad because all the questions I had will never be answered - I will never know what he sounded like - was he funny - was he loving when not on drugs - etc. I have a picture of him from the obituary and he looks just like me. I am completely obsessed and stare at this picture over and over day after day trying to make sense of what has happened. It is so hard to make the decision to place a child for adoption but you love that child soo much you would do anything for them to have a better life than you can provide. It is so hard because things were not suppose to end this way - his life was suppose to be great. I definately think you are what you decide to make of yourself and do not "blame" his adoptive parents for anything at all. I know they did everything humanly possible for him as any parent would. There was just something missing in his life that they could not fix. And if I had to do it all over again - as much as it hurts - I would not change a thing. So here is my question - I so badly would like to have a real picture of him - not a picture from his obituary. Would it be wrong of me to mail a letter to his adoptive parents with my sympathy and ask for a picture? I appreciate all opinions Thanks for listening!