Topics i can address?

I've recently become interested in how many firstparents were told to abort by either a family member or the father of the child and the reasons as to why they did not do it.But that's all I've got today. :)

Well I kept quiet about my pregnancy for long enough not to be forced to have an abortion as I did want to have my baby. My reasoning was because my sister had been pregnant 7 years previously and despite her boyfriend wanting to support her and their baby my parents forced her into having an abortion plus split up her relationship. My sister was 15 at the time so a minor which made it easier for my parents to have their way. I would be interested to know how many others have been in a similar situation. Pip

[font=Arial][/font][font=Arial][/font] [font=Arial]Nice to see you over here, Heather. :) I can't think of anything off the top of my head right now, but will send any ideas along when I do. I bet as soon as this gets posted one will pop into my head...that's the way it works (for me).[/font][font=Arial]Merrill[/font]

As far as reasons why not, I'd say part of it has to do with how much force is being used by the family member(s) or father in getting their way over her...how much power or control they have over her, in addition to her own personal feelings, beliefs or fears at the time. I was told to abort by two people, but they didn't have the same kind of powerful influence over me as others involved did where it came to adoption later...like my mother...who had (for reasons too much to convey here) a huge amount of power and influence over me. There were personal and faith reasons why I wouldn't consider abortion; also, I accepted my pregnancy even though I was scared and had no support. No one helped (despite my efforts to help myself) in taking the "crisis" out of "crisis pregnancy" but rather my efforts were mocked at or turned away. If that were different, the outcome would have been different...would have parented. Merrill

I've posted on that topic and would love to see some discussion over at the blog. Thanks for the suggestion!

Hi Heather I was in that situation when I found out I was pregnant at 16 and the bfather was not at all good, and my mother informed me that I needed to have an abortion. I guess I was so confused at the time, that I was not thinking for myself. So needless to say I ended up at the abortion clinic with my mother, and we got all of the paperwork done, blood work done, and I was on the table waiting on the doctor, when I got an attitude because I was cold and the nurse took too long to get me a blanket. So due to an attitude problem and being impatient, I guess you can say that got me out of the situation and allowed me to come to my senses and thank God I did because I have a great 11 year old son now. And I can't even imagine what my life would have been if I would have went through with it. My mother was probably just scared for what my life was going to be but even though we never discussed a word of it again, I did hear her right after I had my son, holding him and whisper to him that she was glad that I made the choice that I made and that she loved him. Since then I made great choices and grew up and became responsable. I decided to have another child when I as 17, got married 1 month later (the day after my 18th birthday), and I have adopted a little girl that is now 2 and we have been married for over 10 years now. And we are going to adopt atleast one more time. I have always been known for having had an attitude problem, but for this one time, I am greatful for that attitude, and my son has heard my testimony and he is very greatful for my attitude problem. Actually he has the same attitude. I am forever greatful for my son, and I know that God has big plans for him.

My daughter's birth mother was raped at 13...about 3-4 months after her 13th birthday. The man was bi-racial. She was pressured to have an abortion, particularly by her mother, but also by those in positions of authority. Her mother took her to an abortion clinic and she was "counseled" and told that at 20 wks, her baby was not formed yet. (I know some medical textbooks that would say otherwise) She was told that "no one will want a bi-racial, rapist's baby", and when she still hesitated, the staff informed her if she did not consent to the abortion, she would die. This gave her mother more ammunition! And this scared, traumatized 13 year old thinks she is going to die having a baby no one will even want! She was not allowed to see the ultrasound and the abortionist picked up a coffee mug and told her to "imagine this coming out from between your legs" when she asked about birth. SHe was never told anything about the procedure (a D&E/live dismemberment), told her options or her risks. She was clearly not given accurate fetal development info. She was asked WITH HER MOTHER IN THE ROOM if she was being pressured by anyone to consent. What do you think she is going to say? YES, by my mother!?!? Sigh. So, she gives in. She is given an STD test, but never told the results. After 6 hours in the clinic, the procedure begins. She was on the table in the stirrups and the abortionist was using manual dilators instead of laminaria...doing in seconds what laminaria takes 24-48 hours to do and what is considered safer in later abortions, especially for a teen with a "green" cerivx. He was doing this on a rape victim AWAKE. She was in pain and got upset. He told her mother he wanted her knocked out because it was making his job too difficult. THe mother didn't have the extra money, so he rescheduled the abortion for 21 and a half weeks. She was never sent the results of the STD tests. During the time between the 1st attempt and the rescheduled abortion, this young lady got ACCURATE fetal development info, learned about her risks and her options and realized her baby was not unwanted. She stood her ground and refused to return for the abortion and chose adoption instead. I know this because she and her mother told me the details of their clinic visit. After she began prenatal care, her OB did an STD test and discovered her rapist had given her chylamidia, which if inserted into a raw womb and if left untreated could have made this girl sterile. She may have aborted at 13 the only child she ever would have been able to conceive. When the baby was born, similar to mylovebug, the young lady's mother wept and was clearly in love with her granddaughter. This was no "rapist's baby"...she was a precious, innocent, and BEAUTIFUL little girl with amazing eyes and chubby cheeks! You could feel the collective sigh of relief in the delivery room. We have an open adoption and I keep in regular contact with our daughter's birth mom. She is a sweet young lady and we love her dearly! She was able to continue her childhood (as best as could be expected after having been raped and placing a child for adoption) and she writes me the nicest emails about how happy and thankful she is. She told me she wishes she could tell other girls about adoption instead of abortion and how much she loves watching her daughter growing up. I think that the truth and knowing you are not alone is key. Without accurate information, there is no choice. So often there is coercion, deception, and a fear of the unknown that drives women to abortion when they likely would make a different choice if they only had the facts and people were not trying to manipulate them into making the choice THEY want her to make. My best friend nearly aborted 10 months ago. Had the appointment set. It was out of fear that she would be doing it all alone and because all but 2 people in her life told her to have an abortion...even her parents and she is 29! She realized after the death of a loved one that she just couldn't do it...she would regret it forever and cancelled the appointment. She now has a gorgeous daughter who is 2 wks old and her family ADORES her, friends and loved ones came out of the woodwork to give her baby showers that provided for her every need...and what they didn't buy her, she can by herself with all the gift cards! She told me that she had a conversation with her daughter and said "when I first found out about you, I was scared to death and freaked out, but now that you are here, everything is all right." My daughter's birth mom told me after her daughter was born that it was all worth it...all she went through was worth it for her daughter. THAT is a MOTHER!