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[font=Comic Sans MS]I am a 21 year old female who fell in love with an abusive man. At first he was a very sweet man and I thought he loved me. I got pregnant, and he changed some what. He has hit me before, or i should say pushed me and stuff like that, yelling at me all the time, telling me Im doing something that Im not, he put me through a test just to be with him. Then I told him I was pregnant, and he started getting worse. I hit me, kicked me held me at gun point all this stuff while I am pregnant. The first time he did it he did it in front of my at the time two year old. I didnt know what to think or do, but the last time he did it i called the police and had him locked up. He got out and called me and said how much he loved me and he didnt mean to hurt me, thats what the all say. I just dont know what to do. If I should keep this baby and have to worry about him hurting me or the baby for the rest of our lives, I just dont know. I still love the man, but I dont want to put my unborn in any harm.[/font]
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Grab what money you can and go to a shelter or safe house now. You and your children need to be safe. Then get counseling and figure out how get along without him until he truly changes. I don't think that you can make a rational decision about your baby until you are in a safe environment. Please do this. I can tell how much you love your children. Happy G'Ma
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I'm sure you have watched the lifetime channel before, and their movies which 75% of the time are about this situation. I'm sure you know that there are a couple of potential outcomes to this situation based on the decision you choose to make. This man sounds like he cant even control himself, how could he possibly have enough control to love you and your children? As a mother your instincts shoud be kicking in and telling you to get as far away from there as possible, I know it may be hard, because you're at a vulnerable state right now. Is he an alcoholic?? Does he have some sort of chemical imbalance (such as bi-polar) which causes the mood swings?? Was he abused as a child? What usually starts the fights?? AND WHY IS HE DOING THIS SORT OF THING IN FRONT OF A 2 YEAR OLD IS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. If you need help seeking shelter or getting back on your feet, there are plenty on this site that would be more than happy to do what they can for you.
With EVERYTHING that you mentioned that he did to you, and with you KNOWING that what he is doing to you IS considered ABUSE, then why would you even think that you love this man? What he's doing to you (let alone your baby), is NOT right. And he is VERY much putting your life AND the life of your baby in MAJOR danger. My suggestion to you, is to get away from him as FAST as possible. IF you decide to stay with this (so-called man), and I hate to say this, even though it's VERY much true, he could VERY well end up killing your baby. He's NOT worth it. And you could do SO much better. You and your baby deserve A LOT better than that. If you need to talk further, you can contact me at: adoptababy4u@yahoo.com. Sincerely, a new friend
I must say I have been there before. As much as it hurts now to run, hopefully you will THANK yourself later. As a result of the abuse I was put through, right around your age I cannot have any children. Think long and hard. Find a strong support system and do what is right for you and your children. Good Luck, God Bless.
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Please think of yourself and the child you already have for now, and leave. Once you get away you can figure out what you need to do for the baby. One step at a time or it will all be too overwhelming and you might not do anything.When you get out of that enviroment you might deside to keep the baby especially if you don't have to deal with him as a father in the picture(for the baby's safety). You have alot of options, just take the safe route and leave him.Good luck
I agree with the others. In order to be able to make the best decisions for you and your children you need to be in a situation where you feel safe looking into all the possible options. When you are in a safe place, you can then look to get help from professionals who can walk beside you in the decision making process. You've got a lot of decisions to make, but I know you will make the right ones for you and your child. ~W
My best friend was in a similar situation a few years back.... her boyfriend was abusive from the get go, but she didnt think she deserved better. she ended up pregnant, and he threatened her if she didnt abort, he'd do it for her.... she ended up miscarrying that baby. Ended up pregnant pretty quickly after. He still made the threats and was still being abusive. She had her baby girl, and was on again off again with him, all the while he was still abusive. she never was able to leave him. shes now married to him and has 2 kids with him... she's 21. she is in the utmost awful relationship and I can only imagine what he'll end up doing to those kids. my point is to get out as soon as possible.... loving him is not worth the physical and emotional abuse he is doing to you and your children. dont give him more chances. get a restraining order against him and get away from him! i wish you all the best!
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Please get out! Any man who would hold you at gun point, push you, hit you and yell at you...especially in front of your 2 yr old and especially while you are carrying a helpless baby is dangerous. These men do not change. They are not sorry and they will not stop. Your children are TOTALLY depending on YOU to protect them and you have to do everything you can to get as far away from this guy as possible. Love shouldn't involve physical abuse, intimidation, threats, and fear. Love shouldn't hurt. This isn't love. When you find REAL love, you will recognize the difference. You have a bond with this man. Strong emotions. But it is not real love.
Please get away and protect yourself and your children.
I agree with all who have posted here. Get to a safe house with your child. Abusers often promise they'll never do it again... until the next time. Having worked with women who are abused, I know it is difficult to leave. Usually the abuser a) convinces her he has changed/will change, or b) convinces her that she deserves what she gets, or c) threatens to harm her or her loved ones if she leaves. YOU DO NOT DESERVE ABUSE. You owe it to yourself and your children to get out of this situation. Only when you are away can you begin to decide how to deal with this pregnancy. You are worthy of being loved. The community here will provide emotional support, but you must do the hard work of deciding what to do on your own. Blessings,Kathy
A relationship takes so much more than two people saying that they love one another. If he loved you then he would not hurt you, hit you, slap you, kick you; and to do it in front of a two year old. This man needs professional help, get out before you get hurt worse. Get out and get on with your life away from him because the odds [are not] in your favor that he'll ever change. bprice215
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I agree with everyone above about getting safe and getting out...another way to look at it as well is that if you choose to continually stay with this relationship, eventually CPS will become involved (your two year old witnessing this behavior) and can and will remove your children until you can make the choice to keep them out of harms way. If you can't make that choice on behalf of your children, they more than likely won't be returned to your care. I have seen it happen. Even if your children are not the direct victims of this violence, they should not be witnessing it and could become harmed inadvertently. If you can't get out for you, then get out for your kids. You all deserve better.