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I finally feel like I'm over that emotional hurdle relating to adoption and openness and well just a lot of things.
I'm finally starting to feel happy and blessed and like all is right with the world (amongst....all the everyday trials we are still having....including our recent adoption delays on our youngest).
I wish I hadn't have waisted this last year and a half feeling so blue and confused and depressed. But maybe it took all that to get me to where I am today. I don't know. I'm just so glad. I feel so incredibly blessed. Just completely at peace with everything.
lol....I just look at the pictures of my family on the wall (cause they are all sleeping now) and think WOW!!! So much has happened in the last 3 years. Just over 3 years ago our daughter R came, then 5 months later my son came, then 6 months later my youngest daughter came, then 9 months later my youngest son came and now about a year and a half later all but the last have already been adopted. So many blessings in such a short amount of time.
It's finally starting to sink in that this is all real....not just a dream. These are my kids. My miracles sent from God above. We're about to start on the journey of sepnding the rest of our lives together, away from DHS, away from courts, away from just waiting and hoping and feeling completely oout of control and depending on others to fulfill our dreams. We finally have our dream come true. It's our family. What a blessing!!!
I'm not feeling as threatened by birthfamily anymore either. I know these are my kids. I knwo they will love me and my husband and that having a relationship with their birthfamily doesn't take away from that it enhances the love and the joy and sense of family and belonging.
My heart is full....I'm so grateful.