San Mateo step adoption

Maybe you are right. I can't find out who we are assigned to until I send in the paperwork and $. The info request sheet only wants my and my husbands info nothing about the BF (name, address, nothing) other than what is on the birth cert and custody papers. Oh well I am going to send everything I have in to the FCS when I get the info from Nevada (probably tomorrow or Monday) and then see what happens. If that lawyer calls me back maybe I can just ask him. Like I said maybe it was the way I heard it that made it sound all weird. I don't think these people are trying to confusing (just cover themselves - no legal advice) It sounds like it may be more like your county - they just want to know I'm doing something to terminate the rights. I guess I will find out when they get my info. The part of the petition I am comfused about it the lady at juvenile hall said that I had to include the order as well as the petition...I understand that I type whatever it is the judge signs but how do I do that if we don't have a court date? Do I just type the order without dates?

When I typed my initial paperwork the clerk was very helpful and told me what needed to be done and what didnt. I do believe you leave that part blank. There are many spots you leave blank actually. When I filed the paperwork i did not have an attorney so I did type it out myself, however I think the judge also made some changes. There is a big differance between giving legal advice and saying how the county runs the adoptions. Like I said our social worker was very helpful. SO you have not even filed the initial paperwork yet? It was like this for me. I filed the packet of paperwork, which I obtained off the internet, however my friend obtained hers at the clerks office. SO I filed the paperwork which came with a list of things to do next. Next I sent my 100dollar deposit to child services, then they contacted me with an orientation date. At orientation we were advised of the rest of the money due and given a packet of paperwork. Included in that packet was 3 recomendations we had to get filled out by friends and relatives. AFter the worker got all the paperwork back she scheduled a interview with us. She had the interview and wrote her report and then we obtained a court date, at the court date the judge terminated rights and granted the adoption. NOw in other counties there is a 6 month waiting period for the BF to appeal if he finds out before the adoption goes through. Our county grants them together figuring there is no way it would be appealed and if they are that rich to go through that then they more than like ly would not win anyways. After all when they are appealing they are not saying that the facts were wrong but telling the judge he does not know what he is doing. That is the process we went through for the adoption. I just have one question? Where in my discription would you put yourself?

I have filed out the Adopt 200 and filed that. It was forwarded to FCS and I received a list of paperwork they want to see along with the $100 fee.I was going along with the Nolo book Ch 5 willful failure which said I didn't have to file anything else but then juvenile court said I needed to file the petition to terminate rights along with the order the judge will sign so that is what I am typing and trying to figure out what kind of "proof " to turn in with the petition. I mean basically he hasn't even tried to see her since Feb 2004 - it's just a fact I have nothing on paper to "prove" it. The support I have the stub for the single $42 we received last June as an IRS intercept. I have the mediator's report from custody, a restraining order and a letter from the probabtion dept saying what he had to complete but I don't know what helps my case - I mean do I just attach it all and figure the more paperwork the judge has the better? I am hoping after I get the licence from NV (which will complete the inital document request from FCS - minus consent) that they will tell me more.It seems like when I ask those questions - procedure not advice - the answers are under explained. It would have been fabulous to receive a packet of info explaining things but all juvenile court told me was get the Nolo book get the Nolo book every time I called and asked a question.So I guess I am not that far into it yet. I am hoping to have enough time this weekend to finish the petition & order as well as received the NV info so that Monday I can go to juvenile court to get everything stamped and they will forward it to FCS and everyone will have the info at the same time.

If it seems like the courts are not assisting you or the worker than I would say yes file everything. You do not need much proof he has not seen her since feb of 2004, your word is ok. Just do a timeline. 42 dollars is not chld support and I would not worrry about it since it was not an effort from him to pay it. Like I said a timeline works great. GO all the way back to how you met, if you were married, when and keep going from there. He has to dispute your allegations with proof. How will he prove he saw the child if he did not. However your word is ok. IF you say the last time he saw he is in 2004 the judge will believe the last time he saw here was in 2004. Burden of proof falls on him not you. However if there is proof for anything, like court dates. judges orders, arrest records, be sure you file the. Basically this is what mine looked like and then I gave a copy to my worker, attorney and kept it for myself. So instead of giving one to your attorney, file on in the case. However you probably have to file it with a document called a declaration to it. The court clerk should be able to answer that one. Anyways mine was ten pages long. SO it may be long. OK here is an example: Page 1 1) married December 18,1999 2) June 28,2000 Child born 3) March 2001 seperated 4) march 21, 2001 attempted kidnapping while under the influence,( See attachment 1 page 4 for police report) 5)....................................................... ...................... Do you get the just. When the details are lined out it makes it easier to get the facts across to the judge. Not everything I had proof for. Like how do I prove he did not see the child? Like I said if the BF disputes the charges it is his responsibility to come up with facts that counteract what you said. You are not the one on trial he is. it did take a while to get the facts report typed up and organized but the social worker loved it because it made things a lot easier on her. If things are made easier on them that shows you go to lengths to have this adoption work. I have to go for now but feel free to ask any questions. I will be back on later.

I have a timeline from the custody although it does not include the beginning just when everything started happening. It's like 10pgs already I hope I don't have to retype it. It would be nice to either had carry it into court or if the social worker would just submit it as part of hers.... I wonder if I can just attach it to the declaration as an attachment?? I will ask clerk.This is so crazy going through all these docs again it makes my head spin.

Okay so here is my quick update... The county offices (both Juvenile and FCS) stopped helping or at least not enough to give me direction. So I called a paralegal and she is helping - she said that the filing may have changed like I don't have to file the petition that when I get my report from FCS that I just need to serve him with the adopt 200 and citation to appear but she was checking into it. So now as of July 28th our paperwork has been passed off to a mediator and we are waiting for that person's schedule to clear for them to set up an appointment with us. So for those of you who have been here how long did you have to wait for the call or the appointment?I just wanted to say thank you again for all the help and direction you all have given me not to mention peace of mind!!! I will keep posting as this moves along.

Our appt was about a month after we turned in our paperwork. It all depends on the workers work load. Just sit tight and it will be alright.

It looks like Sept has been a quiet posting month all the back to school stuff going on :) Well I was wrong our paperwork was not handed off (even though that's what I was told) I called because it had been 6 weeks and she said we are just waiting for the court order that rights have been terminated or permission has been granted. Odd isn't it I have to terminate the rights before they say it's okay for the adoption to go through???Okay so after all that run around not only did I get it wrong but even better the person I paid to "get it right" has been just sitting around too. So I contacted her and she said she would get on it - that was 2 weeks ago and still no word from her.So now my question is for those of you who did this yourself did you turn in evidence when you filed your petition or do you just bring it with you to the hearing ...and if you brought it with you do you have to provide 2 copies (one for him)? I have been printing out all the new stuff from the info I find out online just to show he has really moved on and has not intention of even trying to see our daughter or even supporting her.

I turned in the evidence to the social worker who did a report and turned it in to the judge. THat was it.

Thanks AJBs Mom. I wish my county was more like yours!!

Still in limbo the woman I hired to do the paperwork had been having surgeries and so everything has been slowed down I still don't even have a court date! She just emailed me and I thought I would have a date this week but I guess not. Then she keeps telling me it has to be 90 day out for the report ot come in and FCS said they won't start the report until the termination is complete. I am worried that she isn't going to include enough evidence when she files the paperwork and I will have to spend a lot of time explaining during the hearing. I am not even sure this woman is an actual paralegal, I got handed off from the woman I orginally contacted I am not even sure there's anything I can do about it now. Sorry venting..... a couple of questions for anyone who is around...Do the judges look things up before the hearing. Like the restraining order case or the old family court docs (especially if they aren't even in this county)?Maybe I can call the clerk and add papers later?

Okay so court is Friday for the Termination of Parental Rights yippee...well I guess if he shows and wants a hearing it moves up 30 days but at least we are finally making progress. I talked with an attorney last week and she said we have a really strong case and since this is Juvenile Court and no Family court the judges don't go for the poor me I couldn't find them and couldn't pay but I can now thing. I will update again Friday!!!!!

congratulations, and ya your right, if your judge is anything like my judge they do not accept less then I was dead as an effort to not contact their child. Hope friday goes well for you. anymore questions feel free to ask.

So he showed up, but that just means that we continue on Feb 23. They appointed our daughter an attorney, gave him one and we ended up hiring the wonderful attorney who did the consult with me just so we can stay on the right track (she's only charging us for the exact time we use in court) Anyone else had an attorney appointed for their child??? Just wondering what to expect with that.Thank you for the happy thoughts ABJs Mom

Okay so after being rescheduled for Feb we all showed up and because of some other scheduling conflicts with his attorney and my daughter's attorney being stuck in another court room it was rescheduled for March 16th. We showed up and he folded under the back child support and signed the release - although I did allow a small concession he and his mom can still send letters if they want and I will still send school pictures. I figure that if it's in writing and I can sit with her when she reads the note (or read it first the first couple of notes if he even bothers) it can't be that bad and if it is I can just take it.So now I am just waiting for the call from FCS to assign the person to check on my husband and then the final court hearing to sign everything!! YIPPEE!Thank you all again for all your support and kind words this forum really helped me keep it together.:flowergift: