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I'm a bmom and I also have 2 others that are still with me.What I'm wanting to know is..........how does everyone else deal with theese sad,depressed feelings? I do.luckily, get to see my daughter but the pain of losing her wont go away.It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do,seeing her and then leaving.She does not know I'm her bmom,she don't even know she is adopted.
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hi staceyi have an 11 year old girl i see her once a year. why doesn't your daughter know your her birthmom just wondering was it an open adoption. sometimes i think that we are just going to be sad for the rest of our lives. but it gets worser closer to my daughters birthday and my new daughters she will be one in a week. i used to think that i had these feelings and would deal with them. but now i found this forum and feel alot better just having someone to talk about these feelings with who is feeling the same emotions.
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It was an open adoption,and she doesn't know.She was 2 when we did it.I will be sad until the day she finds out and is ok with it.I really worry how it will make her feel,hurt,rejected,etc. I just found this forum,it really is great.But some of the adoptee's stories just make me cry.Some of them have some really bad,rejected,unwanted feelings.I just hate to see that.
i don't think your daugher will have any of those negative feelings. you visit with her she'll know you were always there. i think we will always have concerns about our daughters feelings and they feel overwhelming at times. i do alot of reading and some children take it alot harder it just depends. hopefully our girls will be the lucky ones. they have alot of people who really love them.
I have had some of the worst times dealing with this myself. I too am a bmom. i also have 2 other children that I have raised. My daughter that I put up for adoption will be 18 next week and this has really been hard. The hardest for me is around her birthday. I have had my two children to keep me busy and I rely on GOD for everything. I have never seen my daughter. I sometimes wish I could have but then again I don't. I don't know how I would have been had I been able to see her at times.
I also placed a son for adoption and have two others at home. I was promised open adoption but that has never happend. I dont know how to deal with the daily pain. Its unbearable sometimes, most of the time. I want to say hang in there but i am waiting for that myself. I completely understand your pain. Im so sorry
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Sometimes the pain is worse than others, but I just try to make myself realize that he's with a great family who can give him what he needs. :) It doesn't make things better, but it sure helps out. It hurts especially when I look at my daughter and realize that she could of had a big brother... I try to handle how I feel on my own, I don't see any need for councelling or anything...but that's just me...I think having an open adoption helps a bit too