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I hope its ok to open about this,just over the last couple of weeks,I havnt realy been my usual self,I just can't seem to pull myself together.people are thinking I am being an old grouch as usually I am light and breezy,but you know,I am so tired,I feel so lost,like I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry,the tears keep falling,I just feel so hurt like every part of my body and emotions are sore.I think of my birthyson,that now whilst i write he lays in bed sleepign with another family,I find it hard to swallow,hard to take.:grr:I am so very clumsy and say stupid things and get so cranky when people around me are happy,what is wrong with me?lovemxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I get the impression that your son is a baby and/or was recently placed for adoption. I think it would be abnormal for you to feel like your usual self under those circumstances. If the adoption took place sometime ago maybe it is just hitting you now. Anyway I can see why when the world stops turning for you it could be annoying that it keeps on turning for everyone around you. First tell your doctor. You may have post-partum depression along with missing your baby. Then get him to recomend a therapist. This is too big to deal with alone. I tried to for 33 years by "stuffing" my feelings and now I have been in therapy for 2 years. I wish I had gotten help sooner. Don't do like I did. I will pray for you.-Patty
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I am so tired,I feel so lost,like I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry,the tears keep falling,I just feel so hurt like every part of my body and emotions are sore.I'm 4 months into reunion with my son after 28 years and I can really relate to what you are saying. I feel like I can curl up, the world has stopped until I hear from him again and I wish so much that it was easier than this. My health has nosedived, my m.e. (chronic fatigue) has become unbearable and my body is in shock, its as if I can't function. Keep talking on this forum, you will get a huge amount of what you need. I hope that someone will become a regular penpal to you and support, I have that, but I have gone into an emotional cocoon for the minute, whilst I adjust. I'm having professional counselling, and am about to change counsellors, as she's not for me. Don't be afraid to ask for help, don't be afraid to be all your emotions. Talk and rest. Rest as much as possible, but realise this is like an emotional war wound and ask for healing from others. Love and much comfort sent your way. Tell us more about your situation, is the adoption recent? Even if not, the pain is very real and you need help. x x x
I can so relate to how you are feeling. Please let us know how you are doing. Last week, seriously, I could not believe there were two days of me, not brushing my teeth, not showering, and staying in bed. Can you get some counseling or see your primary care physician? I talked to mine (my PCP) and she was so supportive. She thought I was going into a small depression from stress. I have to agree. I am treating by exercising (when I feel motivated enough), because for me, exercising increases the endorphin or whatever makes you less depressed. I won't medicate, will try this and then see the doc and reconsult w/her.
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