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Originally Posted By VickiHi! My e- mail address is motherobrien@hotmail.comWe adopted an 8 year old boy one year ago and just love him dearly.....My question is on attachment. I know in my heart that he is not attached to us! He says that he loves us, however this is a child that would leave with a pure stranger. He has no fear of anyone...A stranger is not a stranger! I really want to beable to see him as an adult attach to someone. We really do love this child and understand that he has been through alot! We just want to make a difference in his life !! Help
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Originally Posted By hey vickiI am an adult adoptee. I think bonding is a touchy subject within adoption -- for nobody wants to think an adoptee wouldn't bond with an adoptive parent, but I do believe it happens. I truly do not feel close with my adoptive mom. However, I did feel somewhat closse to my adoptive dad. My sister and I both still have attachment issues -- we are both in our thirties. I am not full of answers here. Just know how hard it is emotionally. Best thing is to always love and encourage your son. PSB
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Originally Posted By CallexiVicki,Are you and your son doing any attachment therapy? I think it is really important. There are many good books about it too. Here are some resources you might check out on the web:Some books:Adopting the Hurt Child by Keck and KopeckyDon't Touch My Heart by Christoper H. Waldmann (currently out of print but good if you can find a copy)The Primal Wound by Nancy Newton VerrierWhen Love is Not Enough by Nancy ThomasI know how you must be feeling and it is important for him to learn to attach so that he will have a productive adult life with good intimate relationships.He is young enough now for you to make a difference with a lot of love patience and perseverance. But if you are not in therapy together I would suggest it, and if you are, find out if your therapist has experience with adopted children as well because this can maeke a tremendous difference.Gods best to you all and I wish you success!
Originally Posted By GabyVickiI am an adoptive mum and my husband and I are also going through the same problem as yourself with our 3 yr old Guatemalan daughter. She has been with us for 6 months, and it's been a hard slog all along. We will be commencing "attachment therapy" and "Sound-attachment therapy" over the next few weeks. I wish you all the best with yourselves/your son. Love conquers all, and a little therapy and hard work!!Cheers from "Australia"