Someone with experience please respond

Four months is not that long to wait for a match. Foster placements happen MUCH quicker than adoption. We waited 6 months for our two FS's - they were placed in our home on a pre-adoptive basis. But some people wait even longer. Did you specify a certain age? Because it is generally a longer wait for children under 5 - and if you had other specifications. Have faith that your child is out there waiting for you! [FONT=Times New Roman]IF Trx 2000-2003, AI x 6, IVF x 2[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Foster Parent classes 9/03-12/03[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Approved & licensed by 3/04 as pre-adopt home[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Placed w/siblings 10/04-high legal risk-boys 5 & 2.5 yrs[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Placement failed 11/05-(TPR decision pending as of 8/06-please pray for them!)[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]now in limboŅwhat to do nextŅŅŅ..[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT]

We have looked nation wide. But we are always running in to the problem that SW wants the child to visit siblings placed with someone else. Very few "single" children are placed and the ones that are separated need to see each other. Maybe we should consider more than one--but truthfully my husband thinks that we are too old to consider more than one.

It is not 4 months for a match it is 9 months. We had to requalify twice. If you add on the time for training and to get to the first qualification--it has been since last July. Our age range is 5-11. We asked for one child--male and that he not be RAD and not be on Psycotropic medicine. I looked at the information about adopting. Everyone told us that if we were asking for older children we would be placed more quickly. However, if you look at the new report released March 2005--(by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute--related to the AFCARS Report) it looks like it is harder to adopt older children. They said that because the families usually already have children they (they families) do not have the drive to go through quite as much for a child. I realize that this report was not out when we trained--but no one gave us that information. My caseworker simply said that no good deed ever goes unpunished.

Bummer. I have not read that report; thanks for the info. I wish I could say something about interstate but I don't know anything about it. Sorry you have had such a slong wait - the time from our training to our placement was 13 months - which seemed like FOREVER at the time. Good luck to you!

It sounds like you might want to consider an international adoption. Lots of older kids in other countries too and you would get a match. Good luck whatever you decide :)

Don't give up! We waited for more than a year from the time we were licensed. We are in Lancaster Co. but being on this end of the state didn't really help, because our agency only has agreements with a few counties. They had to get one just so that we could get our kids. Our worker was generally frustrated with Phila. County s their workers rarely returned phone calls.Please don't think you are "too old" for more than one. Our birthchildren are 19 and 15 and we are adopting three - ages 3, 5, and 7. I think it's really more a matter of your health, energy level, and how old you feel. (As well as how many you have room for in your home.) But requesting a sib group doesn't necessarily make the match come quicker as we assumed - there are fewer groups than individuals, plus more factors involed in the match.

There are lots of older kids here in Nevada, both singles and sibling groups that need to be adopted.

I would also ask to be presented with kids that are on psychotropic drugs. When my children came into my home two of my four were on psychotropic meds. They were 4 and 5 at the time! Their only real problems were loss, stress and insecurity. They were off of meds within two months of coming home, and are now doing wonderfully. My "ADHD", overly agressive boy is now a favorite among his teachers, coaches and peers (and even more telling, my pets LOVE him), and my daughter's depression lifted once she found some security in her life. A lot of kids that have suffered the losses that children in foster care have will display anxiety or depression, which can mimic other problems and are often medicated. Perhaps you should think about deciding on a case by case basis. -Diana Amom to four beautiful children as of Sep 12 2005!

Please reconsider your stance on psychotropic meds. We adopted a 4 year old who was on 3 different heavy duty psych meds when we got him. He didn't need ANY of them and was on them because of mistaken impressions and drug stealing by his bio-mom. I understand your reluctance but try to look at every situation as it comes. This might help your chances.

I would also say start searching nationwide. I am a single adoptive dad of a rather awesome 13 year old who I adopted from the state of Oregon two years ago. I found his profile on the Idaho Wednesday's Child website, and called his caseworker. I asked her if she would be willing to adopt him to a single parent home, and if she would be willing to adopt him out of state. She said yes to both questions, but said she was going to make sure he was adopted to the RIGHT home. We talked for about 45 minutes, and the next day she called me back and asked me for my homestudy. Five months later (after all of the ICPC paperwork was completed) I was flying to Oregon to get my son. One of the things that I have learned is that if you are adopting through the state the caseworkers are working to find homes for the kids, but they are not necessarily working to find a child for you. I believe you have to be very proactive and research the photolistings and contact the caseworkers of the kids you believe you could best parent. Also, don't be afraid of the meds. My son was diagnosed ADHD (and it seems to me nearly every kid in the system has this diagnosis) and he was taking adderal. I took him off the medication after he was with me for two months, and never put him back on it. He has calmed down and become a very loving child in the past two years. Anyways, that's my experience. Hope that helps. Chad